What do you do when your at a point where you’re numb with sadness :(?

I put these children on this planet, they are here because of me. So I will live and continue to love care provide and nourish them through to the end of my life. But still I just feel so much pain in my heart :( having these children is a blessing because they give me an excuse to live. The love I have for them and them me is such a wonderful thing. But at the same time, I can’t do what I want to do, sometimes I want to just lay in bed and never leave it ( I do because my children need me) sometimes I want to just cry all day but I can’t. I just feel so much pain in my soul, I feel like apart from my beautiful children, I’ve never got what I wanted. Every guy I’ve ever desperately fallen in love with doesn’t want me :( and the guys that do I’ve no interest in besides friendship
What do you do when your at a point where you’re numb with sadness :(?
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