Why do I do things I hate?

i do things i dislike on purpose. if i hate a food, i’ll order it on purpose bc ik i won't like it. if i hate a shirt i’ll buy it and wear it to make myself feel like shit. if something on my body hurts i’ll apply pressure and make it hurt more. if i don’t wanna do somethign i’ll force myself to do it like over and over again. and sometimes it feels painful when i do these things but a good pain like i feel like i’m punishing myself but it’s also rewarding because i can handle it even if i hate it. why do i do this? does anyone have an explanation lol help
Why do I do things I hate?
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