Depressed girl Best friend?

Question

My best friend who is a girl and suffers from depression has been having angry outbursts towards me over things that should not even be an issue, we are very close (talk everyday type of close ) .
the other day I could tell something was wrong she acted like she was avoiding me so I probably made the mistake of asking her if I did something wrong and she just tore into saying" I know that's what you would say" "it's not about you" "your smothering me" is this typical with depression?
I admit I haven't been the most skilled with communication when she's dealing with depression she is Also under a lot of stress, just wanting some advice cuz she means a lot and love her and want her to be okay and trying my best to be there for her, should I give her space and let her contact me first? Thanks in advance

Answer 1

Unphasedindie

Xper 3

that person seems like me lmao. On the real though, my best friend also is dealing the same thing as I’m doing to him. Just give her space. She’s hurt and in her mind she feels nothing you say will help her. Which is true because she can’t accept the things that hurt her and hurdle over them. Not that she should because it takes time for people to fight depression. It’s like a endless hopelessness. You talking to her would also affect your mental health. Don’t do that. Wait on her, just keep yourself busy as possible so you don’t even have the time and energy to think about it.

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Lc4700

1 y
Thanks so much for the advice, it's tough knowing what to do , I don't want to push her and if she's wanting to be alone don't want to force her, just a few days ago she was telling me I needed to text and call her more first now she says she feels smothered , very difficult
Unphasedindie

1 y
Depression puts people’s emotions all over the place. They’ll say one thing and then another because of it. Just don’t stress too much about it and communicate that whenever she needs you, you’ll be there. She does seem she needs more help than from a friend. I don’t mean that as an insult because I can relate to her behavior.
Lc4700

1 y
Thanks so much for you input , it's helpful to hear from someone that has experience with it, it's very tough cuz I want her to ok she's very important and care about her a lot, I'm just struggling right now with I telling myself I shouldn't have ask that that but then I tell myself it was just a question, depression is a horrible thing she's also dealing with a high stress factor she stretched very thin , I don't want to over burden her so ill leave it in her hands

Answer 2

Lc4700

Thanks so much for the advice, it's tough knowing what to do , I don't want to push her and if she's wanting to be alone don't want to force her, just a few days ago she was telling me I needed to text and call her more first now she says she feels smothered , very difficult

Answer 3

Unphasedindie

Depression puts people’s emotions all over the place. They’ll say one thing and then another because of it. Just don’t stress too much about it and communicate that whenever she needs you, you’ll be there. She does seem she needs more help than from a friend. I don’t mean that as an insult because I can relate to her behavior.

Answer 4

Lc4700

Thanks so much for you input , it's helpful to hear from someone that has experience with it, it's very tough cuz I want her to ok she's very important and care about her a lot, I'm just struggling right now with I telling myself I shouldn't have ask that that but then I tell myself it was just a question, depression is a horrible thing she's also dealing with a high stress factor she stretched very thin , I don't want to over burden her so ill leave it in her hands

Answer 5

btbc92

Master

Yes, I can say that for myself. That's exac ky what utbdoes. Give her space, forgive her and don' tolerate it if it becomes abusive. You need to tell it to her straight that while she is depressed she has no right to disrespect and hurt you. You deserve better. Be stern with her and use tough love if you must, but don't settle. Because the more you allow her to do that, the more that she think that it's okay to treat you that way even though she should know that it's wrong.

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1 Person

Lc4700

1 y
Do you think I should let her reach out? Kind of hard to know what to do cuz of her making the she's feeling smothered remark I realize she's struggling but I have not over contacted her in fact just ba few days ago she was telling me I needed to contact her more and make more of an effort. Thanks so much
btbc92

1 y
You have to understand that this is all based on her terms. Since she's the one that's depressed, she's the one that is mostly concerned about how her depression is affecting you decide how it is affecting herself. You decide if you want her to reach out. You decide if you want to continue being invested in her. You decided you want her in your life. And you decide if you wanted to be her friend. You decide if she is somebody you should care about. Because at the end of the day, she has to think about protecting herself. When a person says that they feel smothered it needs to give them space. If she feels the need to contact you, she will contact you whenever she can. But do not expect her to have the mindset of normal everyday people. She's not going to feel up two communicating all the time. However if she's telling you that you need to contact him more than that's when I say she's being very selfish. And you should not tolerate that. Because she cannot ask for you to contact her more and then she don't feel in the mood to be speaking to you either or doesn't allow you to. You have to get on her case about that. Because if she's not going to respect you, then there's no point in maintaining this friendship. It's just that simple. She's having that much of a problem then she should be speaking a professional about it. Not dump it on somebody else. Remember that. Your well-being is equally as important.
Lc4700

1 y
Thank you very good advice, it definitely is challenging to say the least , it just feels like the tables get turned on me but she is struggling with her issue, I reamained calm and did not escalate any part of the discussion so I will leave it up to her
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btbc92

1 y
Well it is challenging, because not every time depression is someone else's fault. But sadly, if the person doesn't want to get healed from it, then they are choosing to live with when they don't have to. Yes there are plenty of times we're just going to a professional won't help, but it's about making the effort to get some type of help. I believe that God is the only one that can truly heal us of everything that we are suffering through. But again it still has to be our choice to be free from it. It's safe to say that with everything that's going on, a lot of people are going through their own struggles and we got to pray for one another more than ever. Because this is a serious Battlefield of the mind. And everybody is going through it in their own way. Just remember one thing, at the end of the day she has to be the one to work on it. Just support what her needs are. She is your friend after all.

Answer 6

Lc4700

Do you think I should let her reach out? Kind of hard to know what to do cuz of her making the she's feeling smothered remark I realize she's struggling but I have not over contacted her in fact just ba few days ago she was telling me I needed to contact her more and make more of an effort. Thanks so much

Answer 7

btbc92

You have to understand that this is all based on her terms. Since she's the one that's depressed, she's the one that is mostly concerned about how her depression is affecting you decide how it is affecting herself. You decide if you want her to reach out. You decide if you want to continue being invested in her. You decided you want her in your life. And you decide if you wanted to be her friend. You decide if she is somebody you should care about. Because at the end of the day, she has to think about protecting herself. When a person says that they feel smothered it needs to give them space. If she feels the need to contact you, she will contact you whenever she can. But do not expect her to have the mindset of normal everyday people. She's not going to feel up two communicating all the time. However if she's telling you that you need to contact him more than that's when I say she's being very selfish. And you should not tolerate that. Because she cannot ask for you to contact her more and then she don't feel in the mood to be speaking to you either or doesn't allow you to. You have to get on her case about that. Because if she's not going to respect you, then there's no point in maintaining this friendship. It's just that simple. She's having that much of a problem then she should be speaking a professional about it. Not dump it on somebody else. Remember that. Your well-being is equally as important.

Answer 8

Lc4700

Thank you very good advice, it definitely is challenging to say the least , it just feels like the tables get turned on me but she is struggling with her issue, I reamained calm and did not escalate any part of the discussion so I will leave it up to her

Answer 9

btbc92

Well it is challenging, because not every time depression is someone else's fault. But sadly, if the person doesn't want to get healed from it, then they are choosing to live with when they don't have to. Yes there are plenty of times we're just going to a professional won't help, but it's about making the effort to get some type of help. I believe that God is the only one that can truly heal us of everything that we are suffering through. But again it still has to be our choice to be free from it. It's safe to say that with everything that's going on, a lot of people are going through their own struggles and we got to pray for one another more than ever. Because this is a serious Battlefield of the mind. And everybody is going through it in their own way. Just remember one thing, at the end of the day she has to be the one to work on it. Just support what her needs are. She is your friend after all.

Answer 10

dudeinohio | 584 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Master

Depression really screws with your mind. Itll make you think all screwed up. In your case, I'd leave her alone until she contacts you. Then when she does, just confront her and tell her you cannot deal with being pushed away. Dont get into a big discussion about it. Its important to. leave her alone... it appears to her that her issues are pushing you away. You are essentially using reverse psychology on her. You should support her, but dont let her disrespect you.

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