Do you ghost but keep social media connections?

Anonymous

Ok so a female friend has ghosted me, completely ignoring phone calls, text messages, ignores me in public and has even turned around and walked away from me in public.

But she has not removed me or blocked on whats-app or Facebook or blocked my mobile number, the phone rings but eventually goes to voicemail so I know I am being ignored and yes she knows how to block people via whats-app, Facebook and on a phone.

In my experience if I want someone out of my life (ghost) I generally unfriend/block them etc

Have any of your ghosted someone but stayed connected on whats-app/Facebook? I just find it odd she would want to keep these connections but completely ignore me when in public or if I try and contact her, any thoughts?

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Gwenhwyfar
Master

1 y

She is FURIOUS with you

Just doesn’t care enough to block you

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Is this still revelant?
- Asker
  
  1 y
  That I figured. Is there a chance we will talk again? I tended to find that I would block people I never wanted to talk to again so I am curious if she is not wanting to make it final but we may talk again in the future or if she just does not care?
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  Just doesn’t care
- Asker
  
  1 y
  So I am guess since its been a month of us not speaking I am not ever going to hear from her again right?
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- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  Probably but she may calm down
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I hope so. In your experience should I just leave her alone or try and make contact again? I have said sorry, texted her that I want to fix things so it is not like I have just left the situation but I have done everything to try and communicate with her and fix things which has resulted in being ignored.
  
  A month seems a long time to be angry though. Especially ignoring me in public today. Do you think I should try again in a month to talk to her?
  
  I just don't want to start approaching her when she walks away from me, it is a bit stalker like and surely that will just make the situation worse. I know where she lives but I won't go around uninvited. That could really cause major issues i think and just make things worse..
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  I need to know what happened between you
- Asker
  
  1 y
  In short we both had a crush on each other, I said how I felt about her that I liked her (not a fuck buddy but wanting genuinely more, I caught feelings for her). She gave me a the friends speech and my friends reconnected it was not the usual friends speech as she implied i know what we are just 'friends'
  
  She has made sexual references to me before such as getting a tad drunk flirting with me in a group zoom chat and bringing up the topic of a blowjob. We got drunk one evening and suggested I stay at hers but I declined as we were both too drunk and she has been very hot/cold with me so I didn't want to screw up a friendship and have her regret things.. She got jealous at a few platonic female friends of mine who she knows are my type but not jealous at another female friend who she knows I would never find attractive. So a fair bit of hot/cold.
  
  On the night in question we got flirty and i massaged her feet, legs, though, ass and when I touched her ribs she flinched so i stopped and backed off, now she has a huge issue with the police at the moment due to an investigation which she is innocent of and I know she was freaking out that evening as there were police vans outside her flat arresting a neighbour for domestic abuse and the blue police lights flashed across her flat, it was so bad she made me go out and see what the police were doing to ensure they were not there for her which I did and confirmed they were not there for her.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  
  The next day the ghosting/ignoring me happened.
  
  Now regarding her flinching I have done the same before to her a few times and she has never told me no, pushed me away or complained or ignored me and we would speak/act the same the next day. But she is very vocal to tell me off if i do something she does not like i. e. tickle her, use bad grammar in our community group we were running.
  
  A week later I see her three times over the weekend. One time she has anger all across her face like she is going to kill me but never says anything! The second time she is all nervous and makes an excuse to get away from me. The third time she sees me, calls a friend and as soon as she is past me runs fast away from me.
  
  She never did anything like this before that evening and a friend thinks it is some sort of PTSD, this friend has never acted like this to me before and I have been very flirty with her verbally and with light touches around the waist, should even cuddling at times but she has never complained.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  
  So go forward three weeks of her ignoring me and I have called/texted and apologised for that night and wanted to talk to her about it and fix things. All she says is she is uncomfortable with that evening via text but continues to ignore me.
  
  The next week we bump into each other and she is civil and even says hi and bye to me, we were both leaving the park so she could not ignore me but she kept her distance and I could tell she felt nervous around me so I left, she made a big deal about saying bye to me that day by shouting at me across the road which i thought was odd for someone ignoring me.
  
  A week later I quit the community group we run as I could not take the ghosting/silent treatment and we were not able to work together. I left so she could run it in peace without me, I never gave a reason as to why I quit in our group whatsapp chat as there are other people in it and I did not want to cause any issues.
  
  Now she just avoids me in public, turning around when she see's me, ignoring me as we walked past each other and I think she is coming in the park at different times to when I come in to avoid me.
  
  I really am stuck as to how to resolve this situation.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Also I have been consistent in saying I like her for a relationship and not just sex, I am single and not dating anyone else even casually. She does suffer from depression and has come out of a relationship a few months ago and she is 18 years older than me so she has legitimate reasons to not want anything with me to develop but she knows my intentions are real.
  
  Two friends (one male and one female) said she had a crush on me but I wonder if she just liked all the attention I gave her and just didn't want to feel alone. We talked every day via phone, text, email before this incident for months.
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  She feels like you tried to rape her. That the way you touched her was something she definitely did NOT want.
  
  Without hearing her side I really can’t say anything else
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  You seem sincere. But you made her very uncomfortable.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I figured it was something like that. Prior to that evening we have had three evenings where we did more than that and she never said a word to me or complained or told me to stop. This evening in question when she flinched I stopped immediately and pulled away from her, I never tried to continue as I knew she did not want it.
  
  Since then she has not bad mouthed me to anyone and she could of done so, she is not the type to ignore rape, she was abused my her ex-husband physically and verbally and I think she was abused as a child.
  
  I would never harm her and in the whole of the last year of me knowing her we have been alone plenty of times and flirted and cuddled without issue. I know when the police arrested her she was man handled and it was extremely traumatic to her.
  
  The issue I am finding is I just want to talk to her about what happened. I can handle a woman telling me NO, I have no issue with that and I have always stopped physically with a woman when I get a hint of her being uncomfortable like on that evening.
  
  Do you think there might be a time in the future where we might talk again?
  
  Also more importantly what should I do now? just keep my distance and if she comes to me then talk to her?
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  Keep your distance and wait for her to come to you
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Thanks I will, I certainly don't want her to think I would harm her. I just don't get how she could think I could do that to her. The thought of doing that to a woman really disgusts me.
  
  I don't think she has told anyone about that evening, I mean surely if you thought a guy was going to rape you, you would block him on facebook and tell all your friends so they are aware of him? I know a previous girlfriend made it very public about a previous ex sexually abusing her.
  
  Do you think she will come to me if I just keep my distance? I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable and I want to ensure she knows I want to talk to her.
  
  Do you think she always just saw me as a friend or had a crush on me?
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I still feel bad about that evening. It always seemed like there was something between us and she was always hesitant at times, then other times very flirty with, making it clear she is over her ex and making me feel special etc.
  
  I don't know what abuse she has suffered and I really hope she has not suffered anything like this. I just would like to try and fix things.
  
  I get I made her very uncomfortable and the last thing I want to do is hurt her. I f she just wanted to be platonic friends then I understand and I would rather be that with her than nothing.
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  No. She might be embarrassed or ashamed.
  
  I don't know if she had a crush on you
  
  Just wait for her to come to you
  
  You sound really sincere. I hope she talks to you. I also hope you’re telling the truth.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I am telling the truth. That I swear!!! She has no reason to be embarrassed or ashamed if anything it should be me that is embarrassed! Well I do feel a twit for what happened.
  
  The only thing I can think is she has not done anything to burn any bridges with me or destroy me in public (i. e. reputation) etc so maybe she will talk to me in time.
  
  I did tell her I left the community group to give her space so she can run it in peace and that I will rejoin if she wants me to and that I will always be there for her and I have reminded her of all the things she needs to do so I am not trying to distance myself, I have just handed over everything to her so she can continue to run the group in peace.
  
  I'll just give her space and if she approaches me in public I will say hi and hopefully over time we can reconnect and talk again.
  
  Thanks for your advice I really appreciate it!
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  You’re welcome 😊
  
  You’re doing the right thing. I hope she talks to you.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Thanks, i'll follow your advice and just keep my distance. I really hope she has not been through such things in the past but I kind of think she has down played the abuse she has suffered. If that is the case then her reaction to me which to make seems like an over reaction is actually a perfectly reasonable action to protect herself considering things.
  
  This is my thinking so i'll keep my distance and hopefully she will eventually talk to her.
  
  One last thing if this is the same situation come Christmas should I post her a Christmas gift or not? I just don't want her to think even if it has been 3-6 months that she can not talk to me? I would happily talk to her no matter how much time has passed but I don't want to scare her as I know if I did that now it would probably not be interpreted in the friendly manor I mean but likely should would think I am trying to control her as her ex boyfriend and before that ex husband were very controlling and her ex-boyfriend was a mean drunk and I have seen how he tried to control her.
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  No. No Christmas gift. But if she hasn’t blocked you maybe a short non-pressuring friends only Christmas message on fb or ig might be appropriate to let her know she can still talk to you if she wants.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Thanks, I thought a gift would be too much. She has not blocked me on whatsapp/facebook but if we have not spoken by then I will do that. I do hope we do talk before then though :(
  
  I do miss her company even if can only be in a platonic sense.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Do you think it is likely she has suffered serious sexual abuse in the past and what I did set of a major trigger? She tends to be very verbal and always goes on the attack with someone who hurts her but she has not done anything like that with me.
  
  That is the one thing which gives me hope we will talk eventually when she is ready.
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  I think it’s VERY likely
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Oh dear now I feel like crap. I honestly never knew, she seemed to always downplay the abuse she received from her ex husband and now I am wondering whether her serious boyfriend after him was abusive to her which I have a feeling is a yes to a degree which would explain why she would think I might do the same.
  
  Since it is very likely she has gone through that it would explain how she would be hot/cold with me when it comes to dating signals and I found some of her behaviour was quite odd which would I guess be down to trust issues and her wanting to know I would not harm her or be like the previous men she has met.
  
  I have a feeling then she has suffered in childhood and through most of her life which has left her emotionally scared.
  
  I guess since she has not lashed out at me in anyway perhaps part of her knows I would never harm her as she is not the quiet type. I know before this she helped get a woman out of domestic abuse situation and she was very vocal and active at doing that!
  
  So perhaps deep down she knows I won't harm her but with what has happened to her she is just protecting herself thinking I would do the same. Just thinking out loud here.
  
  From your opinion do you think it is possible I will hear from her in the future?
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  I don't know
  
  You said you’ve gotten sexual with her before and she didn’t react this way. Without going into detail, did she get turned on when you did stuff to her the other times? If she did, then you probably just literally hit a trigger point. She may come to realize that her reaction was instinctive and that you didn’t mean any harm. In that case, she may reach out to you. But if she thinks you intentionally violated her sexual boundaries, she will probably never speak to you again.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  In the past I have massaged her feet and spent a long time massaging her back and ribs under her shirt and she said never gave me any sign of being uncomfortable and we have cuddling on the sofa with just my arm around her while we were looking through her poetry and watching TV.
  
  She liked it and never seemed uncomfortable, no sign of it and she would always tell me if I did something that annoyed her such as teasing her dog, bad grammar in letters, tickling her (she hates).
  
  I have gone further with her and done with her previous nights and she would always talk to me the next day and spend time with me like nothing happened and if anything we were getting closer with all of those small evenings of being together. I would of thought if anything after me spending an evening massaging her back she would of ignored me then than now.
  
  That is why I am confused we did less the evening I am speaking of than other evenings. I have been very sexual with my flirting with her (not touching just verbal) and she always liked it and blushed, any woman that did not like what I was saying would not spend more time with me or grab my arm and walk along with me.
  
  But you are right regardless of what happened before if she thinks I intentionally violated her sexual boundaries then we may never speak again which I would hate.
  
  I am not sure if this is a good thing but we passed each other walking on other sides of the road so there was a lot of distance between us, I think she saw me roughly the same time I saw her and shouted out "Hi [insert her name]" and waved at her. She gave me a thin lipped smile and brief wave and we both continued walking in our own directions (opposite to each other).
  
  I am not sure if I should take that as a positive sign or not, what do you think?
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  It sounds like you did violate her sexual boundaries but I don’t think you meant to do it
  
  That’s not much but it is a start
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Oh god no I never meant to do anything intentionally and I could never harm her. The moment I saw her get uncomfortable I stopped completely and did not touch her the rest of the evening and it was very visible on my face that I knew I had done something wrong and I apologised then but she did not want to talk about it. She was more concerned about ignoring the topic that evening that discussing it, she was not angry that evening either just wanted to forget about it.
  
  I just don't get why that evening what happened was unacceptable but previous evenings when things went further were ok.
  
  What about her waving to me today when I said hi to her and waved to her, i think she was just being polite rather than anything else.
  
  I have seen other guys give her a hug or get close to her which are friends of her and she really did not like it, it was clearly visible on her face but every time I have been with her like touching the small of her back, giving her a hug, and most of the time she initiated the hug she always seemed fine with it.
  
  Any woman I have tried to date who I did this with who did not fancy me would of immediately withdrawn and not spent more time with me. This is why I thought she did fancy me.
  
  Surely if she genuinely thought I was a threat she would tell everyone? Which is something she has not done, as far as I can tell she has not mentioned this to anyone whereas she recently helped another woman get out of an abusive relationship?
  
  Is it possible she does fancy me or did before this evening and with all the trauma of the police that and her past trauma set off a trigger when I was with her that evening?
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  You unintentionally triggered a very horrible memory in her
  
  I am not at all convinced she fancies you but it’s possible
  
  I may have been through similar experiences, though that was a long time ago and I’ve healed a lot since then. If she does talk to you again, hitting on her will undo all your progress and scare her away for good.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I am very sorry to hear you had experienced such things or even something similar but I am glad you are healing, how are you these days if you do not mind me asking? I take it your able to date and get to know someone if slowly?
  
  I figured I had triggered a horrible memory as until this evening, in the whole year I have known her we have never argued or shouted at each other. A little disagreement here and there and like her telling me off for teasing her dog but that was it.
  
  With regards to her having a crush on me or not she has been flirting with me but I experienced a lot of hot/cold from her (nothing physical) but just sometimes very flirty and into me and other times very withdrawn, sometimes she would make the dirty jokes or comments like "I have never dated a younger guy", and I am the only guy she has met who is younger than her, she normally goes for older guys.
  
  I do want her back in my life, even just as a platonic friend, I would rather have that than nothing. I won't hit on again if she does talk to me, but if she starts flirting with me again what should I do? I have to admit I would like more than friendship but I don't want to have a second chance at friendship and blow it for good?
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  I’m good. What happened to me happened years ago. I’m happy and I have a boyfriend.
  
  If she comes back and flirts with you you can flirt back but do not initiate any touching unless she touches you first or goes to kiss you. She will feel safer and less pressured that way.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I am good you have healed and have moved on from it and have a loving boyfriend, that is great to hear!
  
  Thanks I was thinking that. I only initiated touch with her as she has been very clear saying things like "I never initiate, the guy has to make a move or nothing will happen", and I have teased her saying before "Go on give me a kiss" and she just blushed (I never touched her on that occasion)
  
  I have made her blush many times when I have given her compliments and flirted with her and she has tried to hide the blushing lol but I have always seen it.
  
  The first time I massaged her feet she was actually the one to lay her feet across my lap and she could feel the effect it had on me lol and she never moved away.
  
  It is why I have always thought she wanted more than friendship but at the same time did not want more so she gave very mixed signals and would be very clear when it comes down to non-physical flirting, even with her trying to make me jealous numerous times! I was never sure if she was really interested or if it was just mind games.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  
  I really don't wish her to have a history of abuse but its if she does have such a history then the way she acts with me makes sense. How she can be very flirty with me (verbally) and never recoils from me no matter how verbally flirty I am with her and even plays unto it but when it comes down to the physical side I have noticed she is not really up for it which is why I have not really tried to be physical with her except rarely when I sensed she wanted it. Otherwise I only touch her in safe places like top of the shoulder, held her hand sometimes, her giving me hugs and even just touching her small of her back many times but I have never just held her in a tight hug or held her arm without letting her go.
  
  If we do talk again I definitely won't pressure her at all, if anything this would be a good learning curve to properly understand her regardless if we just stay platonic friends or more.
  
  From your experience do you think there is a chance we will talk again at some point? Even if that is months down the road?
- Asker
  
  1 y
  One other important thing regarding her having a crush on me, there were numerous times she referred to us going out on walking our dogs or dinner as a date, note a lot but a few and she was not joking when she said it and I said to the same to her and meant it.
  
  This is just one of the many things why I thought she fancied me and we were moving towards dating and not just friends.
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  She’s not interested in anything physical
  
  I really hope she talks to you
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Thanks I do hope we talk, but if she does not want anything physical with me what is with all the flirting and mixed signs like referring to us going out as date, saying to me down the phone 'love you loads' etc and the other flirting she has done?
  
  Was she just liking the attention and leading me on? It kind of seems that way if she never wanted anything physical or could she of wanted more but the trauma is making her not want to do anything physical as she is comfortable with that?
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Also things like her saying about not dating a younger man, she wrote a whole poem online which was basically about me making her happy. Is it possible she is interested in me but just nothing physical due to past trauma so this is why I get such mixed signals or is she just liking the attention I was giving her?
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  Yes. She liked you but the trauma made her reluctant to get physical.
  
  She was not leading you on. You pushed her too far too fast and she freaked out. I don't know if this is fixable. I hope it is. You need to be patient and let her come to you when she’s ready.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Thanks. I will keep my distance and hope she will contact me and then just take things slow and let her initiate the flirting etc IF I feel she wants to try again, otherwise if she just wants to be platonic friends I can accept that.
  
  She is a good woman, I would rather have her in my life as a platonic friend than nothing.
  
  If I see her in public like if we walk past each other on the street is it ok for me just to say Hi to her. I won't try and stop her or get into a conversation with her unless she starts talking to me or stops etc.
  
  I don't want her to think I am ignoring her but I also don't want her to think me saying Hello means I am going to try something with her etc?
  
  I just want to get things right so she knows I want to talk to her and she can approach me anytime even if it is just her texting me at first. I just want to ensure she knows the door is open and I want to talk/spend time with her again?
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  It’s ok to say hi. And send her a non-pressuring message on fb at Christmas.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Thanks that was all I was going to do if I see her in person, I was not going to do more but thanks for confirming that. I guess doing that allows her to control the conversation and talk to me more when she is ready and knowing that I am not ignoring her?
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  Exactly
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Brilliant!!! I can not thank you enough for your advice. I will do this if I see her in public and hopefully one day we will talk again :)
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  Good luck 😊. And you’re welcome.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  One additional thing, me and this lady we are still friends on facebook and we can still see each others posts. So I could like and comment on her posts on her facebook if I wanted to. I have not done so since this all happened.
  
  I think it is a bad idea for me to like and write comments on her posts such as "Great poem really loved it" as I don't want to scare her more. Should I just leave her facebook wall alone or are occasional comments and likes ok?
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  I think one non-pressuring comment and maybe a like is ok. See if she responds in any way before you do anything else.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Thank you I just did that on one of her poems, just a simple compliment and a like. If she does not respond to me online or in person the next time I see her would it be safe to say to just not post on her wall or like her posts until I see her reacting positively to me either online or offline?
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  Yes.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  No reply or response from her as of yet and she tends to reply to people asap on Facebook. I'll do as you say and not post/like anything else or approach her unless she reaches out and then i'll be gentle (no flirting).
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  Perfect
  
  I don't know exactly what happened but something you did really traumatized her
- Asker
  
  1 y
  She has had issues with police (false arrest/abuse etc) she is completely innocent of these things and I know that! and she has become very afraid of the police, so that evening she had the blue police lights flashing across her flat with police vans outside so I think she was probably hypervigilent due to that/paranoid/very on edge.
  
  I know she has been abused (hit/verbal) from her ex husband but if as you suspect very likely sexual abuse possibly in her childhood then me making a move on her that evening which I stopped and withdrew myself from her the moment I saw her become uncomfortable probably triggered something deep inside her.
  
  She always downplayed the abuse. I guess it is something I should of been more aware of but this is new for me and I have been reading up on trauma/sexual abuse and this whole topic so if we do talk again (hopefully) I won't make the same mistake again and I know not to bring up the topic unless she wants to.
  
  All I can think that evening that me making a move on her and the police lights at the some time perhaps pushed her over the edge stress wise and it all became associated with me. So when she see's/hears me it reminders her of that past traumatic event? It would explain why she has not lashed out at me in any way which she always does at anyone who intentionally attacks her.
  
  The whole police thing was a false statement made by someones (and I know its false) and she has been fighting it tooth and nail and telling everyone she knows about it to get back at the liar, but with me she has not mentioned this evening to anyone. But I am sure if she truly hated me she would tell everyone.
  
  Is it possible she is having an internal conflict where she knows deep down I won't hurt her and I do treat her good but as I have become a trigger when I see her it brings up those past memories so she prefers to stay away from me to not be reminded of those past memories?
- Asker
  
  1 y
  My apologies to bombard you with messages but I did get a reply :), 20 hours later lol :)
  
  So on Facebook:
  
  > I wrote: "Hilarious, love it [Her name ]great writing :)"
  
  > She wrote "thank you :)"
  
  That is a positive start!
  
  With moving forward, I do not want to bombard her with messages, likes, comments etc and scare her off but how often should I message her? I just want to start the conversation rolling enough between us so we can progress from likes/comments, to direct whatsapp messages, to phone calls and back to spending time together in person.
  
  I know this won't be a one week turnaround. But how often should I like/comment on her posts until we talk directly again either in person or via digital media (whatsapp/phone calls etc)?
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  That is so awesome!!!
  
  Once in a while is good. Not sure exactly how long you should wait. But that’s great that she wrote back and 😊.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Oh yes I agree! It is a positive start. I was thinking once day just giving a thumbs up or positive comment on one of her posts on her profile or the community group I was in.
  
  Sometimes I tend to see her over the weekend so maybe sat/sun as she knows the times I walk in the park. I won't approach her if she does avoid me, but I was thinking a comment/like a day and then if I see her over the weekend and positive :) great. But otherwise I was thinking sometime next week to just message her directly on whatsapp saying "Loved your last poem when are you posting your next one?" She is very passionate about poetry and I think it would be less pressure than me asking "How are you?" or "Want to go for dinner" etc, a neutral topic where there is no pressure for her reply and no hint of me trying to talk about what happened (unless she brings up the topic).
  
  Does that work well for a plan?
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  Absolutely perfect!!! 🥰
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Interesting enough I did see her in the park today. She was talking to friends and had her back standing still with them so I just kept my distance as much as possible as i passed them as we were on the shared path and called my dog from a distance so she knew he and I were there, we did not talk or really acknowledge each except look at each other as she was mid-conversation with friends so it would of been rude to interrupt, but I said hi to one of her friends and had a brief chat and had to pull the doggie away from another lady (as my dog is food obsessed...) so I had to stand right next to this lady to do that (within a foot of her, this was not on purpose), I just quickly grabbed the doggie and pulled him away and we continued onward.
  
  We did not acknowledge each other, but she did not move away. I just thought it was too soon and as she was in mid-sentence I could not tell if she would be uncomfortable if I stood around waiting to talk to her (as obviously I did not want to make her uncomfortable).
  
  But i'll gauge her in the park and when I see her next, slow my walking and say hi to her and see what she does. But if she does not stop or wants to leave I won't follow or push things, but just be polite like nothing ever happened.
  
  Either way i'll post occasionally online on her posts and hopefully things will eventually go back to how they are.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I was thinking as I feel awkward/nervous/uncomfortable about trying to talk to her she probably feels ten times worse than what I can imagine and that is without taking into account the trauma memories. I think this approach will work, but doing as you said, basically gauging how she feels and not pushing things, just a simple hi and then working up more hello's until we get a little conversation and then direct talk and then we can hopefully go out in a group.
  
  I was thinking maybe in a few weeks if we start talking again to say to her for me, her and her friend to go out for a walk in the park or dinner etc, but that I will only say when I get the feeling she is comfortable walking with me in a group in the park. I think she will feel more comfortable going out in a group to begin with though.
  
  I think this should work providing I am just very patient, gentle and give her space and just try to move things forward when I sense her comfortable enough with that level of communication between us
  
  This is a good plan right?
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  That’s a good plan
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Thanks for confirming my idea!! I really appreciate your advice on this topic!! Hopefully things will improve slowly and we will go back to where we are hopefully in time :)
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I did see her today in the park, she was walking with a friend along one path and I came out of the woods. Normally the route of walked would of led to us both going through the same small gate at the same time and walking the same way around the rest of the park.
  
  I walked the other way so we saw each other but did not meet and there was a good distance between us so she had comfort. My doggie went upto her and she did stop and wait. I think that was as this gate leaves the park before re-entering on the other side and there is a little road. I don't think she was waiting for me.
  
  We didn't bump into each again in the park and I didn't see her even at a distance anywhere in the park so I know she left the park quite soon after seeing me. I know this as she normally walks a good hour and she must of only been in the park for about 30 mins and her car was gone when I left the park plus I never saw her anywhere else in the park at a distance.
  
  When I next see her and it looks like we are walking towards each other should I continue to approach her and say hello and try and strike up a conversation? From today I would of said she did not want to see me as she chose to avoid me instead of continuing to walk round the park and seeing me?
  
  I know the message on facebook was positive, so I am not sure if it is just too soon to approach in person.
  
  What should I do when I see her in person now? Just act like nothing ever happened and walk upto her and say hi and if she looks uncomfortable just make an excuse and walk away?
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I thought you should we saw each other this afternoon in the park. She was walking towards me from the side and when she saw me she just turned around and walked in the opposite direction directly away from me. We were not near enough to say hi or talk but she never looked in my direction or even acknowledged I was there. I did not try and interact with her or go after her and just kept my distance from her for the remainder of my doggie walk.
  
  Do you have any thoughts as to why she replied to my Facebook post on her wall but ignored me like this in public?
- Gwenhwyfar
  
  1 y
  I don't know
  
  I’m sorry. I have a short attention span and you’ve reached the limit of my attention span. Also, you must’ve REALLY offended or scared her for her to avoid you that blatantly. Just follow my advice and communicate with her only on Facebook for now. Good luck.

Most Helpful Girl

jennifer_bloom | 1.9K opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.
Master

1 y

I don’t delete or block people unless they are violent and dangerous and crazy because I believe everybody deserves a chance and we might have mutual friends who could be turned off by the fact I blocked them

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Is this still revelant?
- Asker
  
  1 y
  So even though you ghosted them you might in the future start talking to them again?
- jennifer_bloom
  
  1 y
  I would give them the chance to redeem themselves because everybody deserves that chance
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Do you just remove them as a friend and leave it upto them to contact you if they want to talk?
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- jennifer_bloom
  
  1 y
  Yes that’s what I do

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