Was I wrong in this situation?

Question

I liked this girl and I was a great friend to her. I tried to be there for her whenever I could because I cared for her. I felt nothing was consistently reciprocated and I was just some guy that was a time killer for her. We wasn’t doing anything and the situation has been like this for 3 years so I needed clarity. I approached her through text to see were we friends or not and it turned into an argument. She treated me as if my feelings didn't matter or nothing. Anyway she said stuff to lead me on and I had to address it. The only thing i regret is never being clear with my intentions and I said I was the only guy there for you. I sounded weak and I told her I was only good enough to listen to your problems. I just wanted reciprocation

Answer 1

bobalife

Xper 6

It definitely is hard when you fall for a friend and not knowing, or knowing they didn’t reciprocate. Or worse, in your statement, is being leaded on. How you feel is how you feel. But just know that you being there for her all those years does not mean she owe you having to return your feelings... because to a girl if you showed you were just being a friend, we just think you’re trying to be a good friend.. whereas if you had other intentions of being more than friends... it was better to be clear about that next time. It also wasn’t cool if she did misled you and didn’t acknowledge your feelings. I believe you both having respect and understanding of each other is important. If you both value having a friendship together, it’s good to communicate on how to maintain it and if you need to move on.. having some space is good to let yourself heal from this girl and the situation. I’m sorry, I know it’s a toughie on emotions and friendship.

Asker

19 d
My thing wasn’t about her returning my feelings because you can’t force that. I’m talking about her not really treating me like a good friend of hers rather as just a time killer and I wanted some reciprocation
bobalife

19 d
Got it, I don’t think it was clear on what you were asking. I’m sorry. Well, it’s good to ask yourself, what is a good friend to you? And what kind of friend do you think she is? What kind of friend are you to her? Because I have to learn it the hard way over the years that just because we can be a good friend/person on x, y, and z does not mean another person can do the same unfortunately. However, if this friendship means a lot and you wanna communicate about it better.. I think it’s good for you both to have some space to think and be level headed. Maybe try talking again with an open conversation? I’m not sure on details, so it’s hard to give you an example approach. But just think about everything over and try communicate about it properly. I know talking about friendship issues isn’t the easiest... but definitely let her know how you feel about the situation and don’t try to make her feel like you’re blaming her. But ask her how does she feel or think too. So you both can be understanding and acknowledge each other’s POV! Hope this helps.
Asker

19 d
Can I inbox you?
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bobalife

19 d
Yeah you can

Answer 2

Asker

My thing wasn’t about her returning my feelings because you can’t force that. I’m talking about her not really treating me like a good friend of hers rather as just a time killer and I wanted some reciprocation

Answer 3

bobalife

Got it, I don’t think it was clear on what you were asking. I’m sorry. Well, it’s good to ask yourself, what is a good friend to you? And what kind of friend do you think she is? What kind of friend are you to her? Because I have to learn it the hard way over the years that just because we can be a good friend/person on x, y, and z does not mean another person can do the same unfortunately. However, if this friendship means a lot and you wanna communicate about it better.. I think it’s good for you both to have some space to think and be level headed. Maybe try talking again with an open conversation? I’m not sure on details, so it’s hard to give you an example approach. But just think about everything over and try communicate about it properly. I know talking about friendship issues isn’t the easiest... but definitely let her know how you feel about the situation and don’t try to make her feel like you’re blaming her. But ask her how does she feel or think too. So you both can be understanding and acknowledge each other’s POV! Hope this helps.

Answer 4

Asker

Can I inbox you?

Answer 5

bobalife

Yeah you can

Answer 6

Avicenna | 1.9K opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Master

If you're interested in a girl, do not leave any ambiguity or you may well get friendzoned. No one is obligated to date a friend just because they're a good friend.

Asker

19 d
I didn’t try to make it seem like she was obligated to date me because I was a good friend. I’m simply saying she didn’t treat me as a friend and I wanted reciprocation.

Answer 7

Asker

I didn’t try to make it seem like she was obligated to date me because I was a good friend. I’m simply saying she didn’t treat me as a friend and I wanted reciprocation.

Was I wrong in this situation?

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