With my ENFP ex she'd always just listen, in her words "i know he's only hurting himself and hence just needs love and to get it out", before i crossed a line and she'd leave the room or something. And naturally makeup sex is a given.
Even though we had a lot of arguments, they were actually what I'd consider good ones, because she never shut me out, even when tried to shut her out. Her position was to never go to sleep on bad thoughts, outright refusing to let me just roll over and ignore her, as opposed to pop the boil and get the argument over and done with so everything has been said and can be resolved. That was a good way of arguing, that I'm too pig headed to do myself. I guess for me i like being treated as if whatever i have to say, whatever it is, good, bad, whatever, all of it wants, no, demands to be heard out of love.
Keep calm, remain rational, be willing to listen and be open to the fact that she might be wrong sometimes. Also learn how to swallow pride and apologize when needed. When men and women argue, the woman sometimes won't shut the fuck up and listen and thinks she knows it all, even when she is dead wrong. Men will usually do whatever just to shut women up, even if it is wrong.
When effectively communicating, even when disagreements occur, arguments don't exist. Arguments exist when we feel hurt by the other and then do our best to hurt them back, so they'll stop wanting to hurt us, which only leads to escalation of conflict. When arguments develop, communication ceases to exist.
Since there is no legitimate purpose for arguments, I'll just discuss this question by changing arguments to disagreements.
Disagreements are part of normal encounters between people. Not all preferences or perspectives will be identical. When a disagreement exists, I'd like both of us to be respectful of each other, realizing a difference of opinion isn't the same as a negative judgment of the other person. What works well is when we seek clarification when we don't fully understand or anticipate a potential negative result. Asking people to define the terminology they are using is helpful, for we can use the same words to describe totally different things. Ask for examples, so you can see the other person's perspective more clearly, or ask how application of their perspective might look or work. Asking the other person if he/she understands may lead to more frustration, as if the answer is "yes," you'll be confused by that person's failure to follow through as you expect. You can ask them to explain your perspective in their own words, but what works best is when we stay actively involved in the conversation by saying to the other, "this is what I hear your concern to be," and then explain what you're hearing in your words. It's always better when we remain actively involved rather than expect others to pull everything out of us. Avoid using vague/general statements, being as clear and concise as possible, and seek clarification of any vague/general statement you hear from the other person. Never accept assumptions as communication.
Rather than place blame or accusations, share your perception of what you are observing and what impact it has on you. Blame never solves anything, and accusations are presenting statements as factual, when they are actually just our interpretation or opinion. Never think criticism will lead to a positive result. Don't assume criticism becomes constructive criticism when you believe your intent is positive. Constructive criticism only exists when the person receiving the criticism is seeking it (ie when you seek honest feedback from your instructor to help you improve your abilities). Unsolicited criticism is always received as negative, and criticism only makes us more resistant to change and less likely to take the feelings of the criticizer into consideration.
As I previously stated, mutual respect moves the conversation forward, in a positive direction. Before saying or doing anything, ask yourself if you'd truly appreciate (not just tolerate) being on the receiving end of what you plan to dish out. If not, come up with an alternative. If you can't think of an alternative, be honest with the other person. Say, "I know what I'd like you to see or understand, but every time I think of how to say it, I don't like how it sounds." Let the other person help you to explore what is inside you, so it can come out in a safe, comfortable manner for all involved.
Arguments are gonna happen I just want to be treated with enough respect that I'm a person. I've seen some fucked up arguments such as the female standing in front of the door when the guy just wants to leave for some space. He walks to the back door she runs across the fucking house to get in his way, he walks to the front door and its the same thing. The point I'm making is don't act like a crazy person or a bitch about it and I'm okay. That's all I ask in arguments, no yelling and screaming or acting crazy. When I'm wrong I'll admit I'm wrong as unless you act like a crazy bitch because that will piss me off and I won't give you the satisfaction of hearing me say your right when I'm pissed because that's how I am.
Like a man! With respect and dignity that I deserve, and not like a child you have to scold for misbehaving or belittling my intelligence in private or in public and don't think that our pain and suffering is supposed to be joke and finally our decisions doesn't revolves you nor we need your approval to do what is needed for ourselves.
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Makeushiver | 84 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.
Yoda
1 y
Try to solve it. I’ve had arguments w/ girls who refuse to follow it to a resolution. They either shut down or leave the room. That settles nothing & leaves I’ll will. I try to make sure that I’m being objective & not arguing just because I’m annoyed @ something unrelated or because of insecurity or ego driven bullshit
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TonyMetal___86 | 80 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.
Yoda
1 y
To speak with respect, give me some time alone and when i say sorry, she must forgive me and give me a kiss and a hug...
She must know that if i'm wrong i'll say sorry and i'll fix the problem and try to never do it again, also she must know that no matter what happens, she will always be my 1st priority and nothing is more important than her!
I don't have a preference, I simply tune out and pretend to listen to her screaming or crying. I don't like to argue or hear raising their voices, so I ignore. When she has calmed down, we can talk.
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Anonymous
1 y
If she presents facts or strong evidence I would have to accept her argument. If I was being a butthead, she should say I'm not thinking clear, but never disrespect me or do personal attacks like call me an idiot or other hurtful things. I'm willing to admit I've been wrong, but don't need to be insulted on top of it. If she call prove me wrong, I make room for that and I would have to apologize.
If I don't understand her point of view, regardless what it is, I want her to keep triing to explain it till I understand what she is saying, even if I don't agree I still want to understand
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Unit1 | 722 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.
Master
1 y
So what I'm wrong one time or two? Nobody got hurt and that's what matters. Life's not perfect anyway. i know some men can't even admit or apologize for being wrong and I'm not one of them. make love, not war.
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ColHathi | 89 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.
Yoda
1 y
No yelling, no namecalling. Just have patience, and treat me with respect and consideration. I'll do my best to treat her the same way, as I would with absolutely any other person.
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