Her interest in me is declining and I don't know why or what should I do?

Question

Ok so I and this girl are friends, we met two months ago. we talk every day while playing online games together. things escalated and we actually became real-life friends. There isn't much common stuff between us. the only common interest between us is online games. Now at first, she was so interested in me and gave me a lot of her time and attention. Recently she has been really stressing about the game because there's some stuff that she can't do (I managed to do it) and I'm really trying my best to help her do that stuff, I'm encouraging her and being like her psychiatrist and telling her to be calm and not to get mad about that stuff but the problem is she just doesn't take my words, sometimes she even blames me indirectly and when I address it she just says she wasn't talking about me.
besides the gaming stuff there are somethings that I noticed and I'll say it because it may make a difference in how you can think in my situation, she's good-looking and she's a social person. Apparently, she's straight but she doesn't date any guys and I can really tell that there're tons of guys who fell for her, and she didn't get in a relationship with one of them. She really knows how to manipulate guys and use them as spawns to do her stuff. Her mood swings completely like sometimes she's into me and interested to talk and sometimes she's completely off and mad at me.
Now, I actually like her and I really care about her and I want to either fix her or make her into me. I'm trying to do this in the least way of hurting myself because our relationship right now is so oriented around her and I can't make it around me. she isn't interested in how I feel or if I care about her or not.
Sorry for making this long , what do you think should I do?

Answer 1

DesertedPhoenix

Xper 3

Hey man, it looks like you already fell in the trap the other guys also fell into. By the context you provided, you said that your relationship with her is oriented on her needs and wants. This says to me that you have her on a pedestal, since she is in charge and it looks like she is not interested in you at all. You can't force her to like you, there is not a love potion, no trick, no magic, no cupid, nor prayer that will make someone fall in love with another person. You are not a "pawn", you should be yourself regardless of what she thinks of you. If she is being toxic, then call her out, don't let her step on you.

Now, if you truly like her, just tell her. I know it is easier said than done, but you will be surprised the amount of stress that will get off your shoulders. If you don't feel ready, fine, then stop making everything about her. The relationship should not be oriented around her, nor should be oriented around you, it should be about both of you. In other words, a healthy relationship doesn't have someone in charge, each one has equal say. If she doesn't care about you, then there is nothing to be done, look in the mirror and ask yourself if she is really worth the hassle. Don't let the situation take control of you because you will end up hurting yourself... and remember there is always something better to do than worry about other people's problems.

Best of luck bro.

Asker

1 mo
I know what her reply would be , why would I tell her that. she probably knows that I like her , she's just not interested in me and I'm the only one being hurt she actually doesn't care and she can replace me with a better guy and she have plenty of better guys around her. I can't help it stop loving her. I really do love her. I've met tons of girls in my life and I've never felt something towards them. she has accepted me the way I'm but she doesn't want me as a partner. to her I'm just a friend. the whole thing is fucked up and I've felt deep in the trap.
DesertedPhoenix

1 mo
Hm, you do love her. By your replies I can imagine you are torturing yourself mentally. It isn't her really, its all on your head, since you are allowing for this situation to happen. Do you have any hobbies? drawing, exercise, singing, playing music etc? I know it sounds dumb but what you need is to get her off your head for the mean time. You need to build yourself up, change your routine and start talking to other people to get better confidence.

You are not a pawn, you are in control of your own emotions, thoughts, and actions. The best words that a bro older than me once told me (more like yelled at me) were "Stop being a little bitch!". Come on man, look at yourself in the mirror, is this what you want to be? Life is too short for somebody else to fuck it up. We are just here to give our opinions, it is up to you the ultimate decision of what happens next. Do you want to live in torment and enslaved as a pawn of a girl who doesn't give a damn about you, or do you want to be a man that has the confidence and the guts to say that enough is enough.

You are young, this is just one life lesson that is in your way. Regardless of the result, you will learn something useful, and will come out (hopefully) a better man. Always stay optimistic, and look out for yourself.

Stay safe.

Answer 2

Asker

I know what her reply would be , why would I tell her that. she probably knows that I like her , she's just not interested in me and I'm the only one being hurt she actually doesn't care and she can replace me with a better guy and she have plenty of better guys around her. I can't help it stop loving her. I really do love her. I've met tons of girls in my life and I've never felt something towards them. she has accepted me the way I'm but she doesn't want me as a partner. to her I'm just a friend. the whole thing is fucked up and I've felt deep in the trap.

Answer 3

DesertedPhoenix

Hm, you do love her. By your replies I can imagine you are torturing yourself mentally. It isn't her really, its all on your head, since you are allowing for this situation to happen. Do you have any hobbies? drawing, exercise, singing, playing music etc? I know it sounds dumb but what you need is to get her off your head for the mean time. You need to build yourself up, change your routine and start talking to other people to get better confidence.

You are not a pawn, you are in control of your own emotions, thoughts, and actions. The best words that a bro older than me once told me (more like yelled at me) were "Stop being a little bitch!". Come on man, look at yourself in the mirror, is this what you want to be? Life is too short for somebody else to fuck it up. We are just here to give our opinions, it is up to you the ultimate decision of what happens next. Do you want to live in torment and enslaved as a pawn of a girl who doesn't give a damn about you, or do you want to be a man that has the confidence and the guts to say that enough is enough.

You are young, this is just one life lesson that is in your way. Regardless of the result, you will learn something useful, and will come out (hopefully) a better man. Always stay optimistic, and look out for yourself.

Stay safe.

Answer 4

msc545 | 186 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Yoda

Dump her. You can't fix her and you can't make her into you. You don't know it yet but after you dump her you'll realize that you dodged a bullet.

Asker

1 mo
I’m so into her that If I dump her I would collapse. At least I can’t do it now
msc545

1 mo
If you don't, she will keep right on abusing you. This will not end well.
Asker

1 mo
she actually is declining away from me so I probably will get used to it by time but I really regret being a terrible man for not standing up to her standards.
Show All Show Less
msc545

1 mo
You aren't terrible. She is!

Answer 5

Asker

I’m so into her that If I dump her I would collapse. At least I can’t do it now

Answer 6

msc545

If you don't, she will keep right on abusing you. This will not end well.

Answer 7

Asker

she actually is declining away from me so I probably will get used to it by time but I really regret being a terrible man for not standing up to her standards.

Answer 8

msc545

You aren't terrible. She is!

Her interest in me is declining and I don't know why or what should I do?

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