Why does she over think everything I do/say and think it's about her? Then get in her feelings about it?

Question

Why does my friend overthink everything i do and say and some how think i'm talking about her. I don't say nothing she think i'm mad at her. I haven't talked to her in week or 2. How can i be mad at someone i haven't talked with in a while. She claimed i didn't speak to her. I spoke to everyone. Some other platonic friends know how to make me laugh so i laughed and quickly talked to them. It was briefly. I didn't talk long.

I'm recovering from covid almost a month and still dealing with fatigue. So i don't talk much. But this woman not only get mad about me not talking to her or she think i'm mad at her. Our friends keep telling me to fix the problem between the 2 of you. She thinks you have a problem even though i said i don't. I give her a hug she fight it then accepts it. Then become goofy again but mad again for some odd reason. I stopped caring at this point. But our friends keep telling me to fix it. I don't do nothing but hug her. If she wants a hug just ask.

Then today she added if you don't want to be my friend just tell me. I will understsnd and we can be cordial. She's mad at me cause she thinks i'm mad at her. She doesn't have any logic behind what she's doing. Woman don't usually become this crazy until after i become romantically intimate with them. She's just a friend.

Why is she overthinking things i do and being sensitive/in her feelings with things i do and say? She's only like this with me. What's going on with her?

Answer 1

OldiebutaGoodie

Xper 4

Sounds like she wants a relationship with you (more than friends) but wants you to as well. She has feelings for you and assumes you should know that.

Asker

9 d
Are you sure about that? When i treat her like a girlfriend she's happy and shut up. She's screwong this other fuy. I thought thongs would change. Things havr gotten worse
OldiebutaGoodie

9 d
Well eventually everyone has to pick a side, she may be choosing hers or upset about the other guy and taking it out on you. Definitely not healthy for everyone involved to be in a relationship with more than one person.
Asker

9 d
It's crazy. I feel like i can't tlk round her. Feel like i gotbto watch everything i say. People tell me to fix crap between us truth is there is nothing to fix. People that know both of us doesn't believe me because she's highly upset and ruins the mood. I give her a hug and she's quiet. Feel like a whole new job. Maybe we shouldn't have worked with each other too.
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OldiebutaGoodie

9 d
I don't know then. Look for a different job if you feel the need but if she keeps coming back to you she is wanting something from you.
Asker

9 d
She's jealous of women i call a friend but i encourage her to talk to other guys. It's annoying because if i tslk i say the wrong thing. But if i'm quiet shethink i'm ignoring her and she becomes angrier and mad and becomes passive aggressive. She sees red if i'm talking to another woman more than i am her. She threatened to break the friendship because she felt as if i didn't care. Like what is she getting that from. Then next min she talk about loving me blah blah blah
Asker

9 d
Everytime. She mad i don't text her much. I never really texted her. Now she's dating i give her space. She never text first. So i stop. Her way of texting or calling first. She ask me a question she knows the answer to. Then she goes from there
OldiebutaGoodie

9 d
Sounds like she still likes you but can't make up her mind.
Asker

9 d
Everyone keep saying this. Smh
OldiebutaGoodie

9 d
Yeah, girls are a bit (crazy) emotionally out of control sometimes. I know I've lost my crap once when I liked a guy but he wouldn't make it clear at first and then it seemed like our relationship was on the fence so I tried to act calm but still wanted the type of relationship I wanted but didn't want to loose or friendship because I was being impatient. Definitely went back an forth with the acting like I didn't like him and actually liking him.
Asker

9 d
Yea and our manager her close friend told me some women you have to treat different than others. She's a bit different than other women. She eavesdrop, and look at me and react to stuff even if she doesn't hearing things correctly she still reacts. Her emotions are a rollercoaster like you said. I started flirting with her 6 months ago. Things slowly changed between us. Smh now i slowed down on flirting cause she's dating. Now she's mad and saying i changed lol smh
OldiebutaGoodie

9 d
Sounds like she's emotionally unstable by her choice (lack of self control). She liked the attention from the amount of flirting you were giving her before and believe it of not ATTENTION IS ADDICTING!
Asker

9 d
She's getting attention. But we spoke about this. Just because i'm quiet i'm not mad. When they tell me to fix it. I just hug her and she shut up. Every single time. Then she gets back angry. I'm just not sure what to do anymore. Other day i thought something was wrong with her and i kissed her forehead. She giggled. I didn't realize what i did until after and i apologized for it. She was confused as to why cause i wasn't disrespectful. But 2 weeks later she's acting like this. I didn't get mad when i didn't hear from her in 2 weeks. I just went with it. She's giving her all to the guy she's dating. So i relaxed. Why can't she?
OldiebutaGoodie

9 d
I would just tell (in letter form becauseI take it she isn't going to let what you're saying sink in and just start being verbally emotional) the way she is acting and you don't like it and if she can't decide if she wants to be calm and friendly then you both can agree to keep peaceable distance.
Asker

9 d
I planned on telling me do i want tk be friends. I'm going to call her bluff and tell her we can keep it work related. Last time i called her bluff she got sad and said why i got to be like that. Blah blah blah. Why she so emotional and sensitove now? I just don't understand
OldiebutaGoodie

9 d
Wants her cake and to eat it too. Doesn't ever work out. Unfortunately she can't see the state of mind its put her in.
Asker

9 d
Exactly. I will continue to give her cold shoulder until she fixes herself
Asker

9 d
She told me today as she paid for lunch and we spoke briefly about it. She said that she feel as if im not talking to her more than i am other coworkers. I laugh and joke with other coworkers and friends more than i did with her. She said since we been off of quarantine. I been acting funny. She want me to be myself. But im myself and nothing change. She don't contact me since she been talking to this guy she's with on qurantine. Everyone she complained about has had contact with me and or checked up on me.

She feels as if she should be at the top of the list as to people i contact and speak with since i'm her best guyfriend. She feel as though i'm not talking to her, i'm ignoring her, giving her the cold shoulder, oh and she think i act different one on one then when people is around. Which isn't true. I wanted her to be open but the things she feel. Sounds crazy to me

Answer 2

Asker

Are you sure about that? When i treat her like a girlfriend she's happy and shut up. She's screwong this other fuy. I thought thongs would change. Things havr gotten worse

Answer 3

OldiebutaGoodie

Well eventually everyone has to pick a side, she may be choosing hers or upset about the other guy and taking it out on you. Definitely not healthy for everyone involved to be in a relationship with more than one person.

Answer 4

Asker

It's crazy. I feel like i can't tlk round her. Feel like i gotbto watch everything i say. People tell me to fix crap between us truth is there is nothing to fix. People that know both of us doesn't believe me because she's highly upset and ruins the mood. I give her a hug and she's quiet. Feel like a whole new job. Maybe we shouldn't have worked with each other too.

Answer 5

OldiebutaGoodie

I don't know then. Look for a different job if you feel the need but if she keeps coming back to you she is wanting something from you.

Answer 6

Asker

She's jealous of women i call a friend but i encourage her to talk to other guys. It's annoying because if i tslk i say the wrong thing. But if i'm quiet shethink i'm ignoring her and she becomes angrier and mad and becomes passive aggressive. She sees red if i'm talking to another woman more than i am her. She threatened to break the friendship because she felt as if i didn't care. Like what is she getting that from. Then next min she talk about loving me blah blah blah

Answer 7

Asker

Everytime. She mad i don't text her much. I never really texted her. Now she's dating i give her space. She never text first. So i stop. Her way of texting or calling first. She ask me a question she knows the answer to. Then she goes from there

Answer 8

OldiebutaGoodie

Sounds like she still likes you but can't make up her mind.

Answer 9

Asker

Everyone keep saying this. Smh

Answer 10

OldiebutaGoodie

Yeah, girls are a bit (crazy) emotionally out of control sometimes. I know I've lost my crap once when I liked a guy but he wouldn't make it clear at first and then it seemed like our relationship was on the fence so I tried to act calm but still wanted the type of relationship I wanted but didn't want to loose or friendship because I was being impatient. Definitely went back an forth with the acting like I didn't like him and actually liking him.

Answer 11

Asker

Yea and our manager her close friend told me some women you have to treat different than others. She's a bit different than other women. She eavesdrop, and look at me and react to stuff even if she doesn't hearing things correctly she still reacts. Her emotions are a rollercoaster like you said. I started flirting with her 6 months ago. Things slowly changed between us. Smh now i slowed down on flirting cause she's dating. Now she's mad and saying i changed lol smh

Answer 12

OldiebutaGoodie

Sounds like she's emotionally unstable by her choice (lack of self control). She liked the attention from the amount of flirting you were giving her before and believe it of not ATTENTION IS ADDICTING!

Answer 13

Asker

She's getting attention. But we spoke about this. Just because i'm quiet i'm not mad. When they tell me to fix it. I just hug her and she shut up. Every single time. Then she gets back angry. I'm just not sure what to do anymore. Other day i thought something was wrong with her and i kissed her forehead. She giggled. I didn't realize what i did until after and i apologized for it. She was confused as to why cause i wasn't disrespectful. But 2 weeks later she's acting like this. I didn't get mad when i didn't hear from her in 2 weeks. I just went with it. She's giving her all to the guy she's dating. So i relaxed. Why can't she?

Answer 14

OldiebutaGoodie

I would just tell (in letter form becauseI take it she isn't going to let what you're saying sink in and just start being verbally emotional) the way she is acting and you don't like it and if she can't decide if she wants to be calm and friendly then you both can agree to keep peaceable distance.

Answer 15

Asker

I planned on telling me do i want tk be friends. I'm going to call her bluff and tell her we can keep it work related. Last time i called her bluff she got sad and said why i got to be like that. Blah blah blah. Why she so emotional and sensitove now? I just don't understand

Answer 16

OldiebutaGoodie

Wants her cake and to eat it too. Doesn't ever work out. Unfortunately she can't see the state of mind its put her in.

Answer 17

Asker

Exactly. I will continue to give her cold shoulder until she fixes herself

Answer 18

Asker

She told me today as she paid for lunch and we spoke briefly about it. She said that she feel as if im not talking to her more than i am other coworkers. I laugh and joke with other coworkers and friends more than i did with her. She said since we been off of quarantine. I been acting funny. She want me to be myself. But im myself and nothing change. She don't contact me since she been talking to this guy she's with on qurantine. Everyone she complained about has had contact with me and or checked up on me.

She feels as if she should be at the top of the list as to people i contact and speak with since i'm her best guyfriend. She feel as though i'm not talking to her, i'm ignoring her, giving her the cold shoulder, oh and she think i act different one on one then when people is around. Which isn't true. I wanted her to be open but the things she feel. Sounds crazy to me

Why does she over think everything I do/say and think it's about her? Then get in her feelings about it?

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