Am I overreacting to this FB comment?

Question

So essentially I know this man who is 12 years older than me. I've known him since I was born. Obviously he wasn't a man then but he's been one pretty much since I was at an age to remember him. The other day he commented on an old picture of mine. Specifically not just one where I looked nice but one with a bit of cleavage (pic attached) And he said something like "sometimes I forget you're a beautiful young woman now". The comment itself is fine but the picture he left it on and since I've almost always been a minor and him an adult it just rubbed me wrong. Obviously not going to do anything about it regardless as it was just one comment and I'm not a minor anymore. But I've been stressing about my reaction to it and how it made me feel (anxiety disorders are fun) so I was hoping some feedback might get it out of my head. Thanks!

Answer 1

argyle

Xper 4

Let me see if I can offer a possible explanation here: I'm 74, but all those "Me's" from all my earlier years are still alive and well inside my mind. I look at your image and the Me who is in his 20's says, "Hello." I think your friend meant something along those lines. As an old man, I sometimes have to remind myself, when I meet someone and respond to them, that I'm not the same age as them any longer. Example: I was having dental work done, and my dentist left me alone with his chairside assistant while I "numbed up." We chatted and I discovered we were both "Movie Nuts." I was about to ask her to have dinner with me, so that we could talk more about movies, when I remembered my age and realized I was about to ask a 17 year old intern out on a date. I shared that realization with my dentist, who laughed, and with the young assistant, who also laughed. Now I ended up having dinner with her, and none of it was inappropriate. We talked about movies and both of us had a good time. The point is, I have to remind myself from time to time that I am not the same young guy who lives inside my head with all the others. This is especially important if I suddenly feel the urge to jog across the street between cars when I'm downtown. Uh, this 74 year old can no longer sprint or run or job.

I hope this helps.

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3 People

Answer 2

RolandCuthbert | 260 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Guru

I don't understand what the anxiety is about. If you are having issues with anxiety in general. I feel you. But that is about what is happening inside your own head. And for that you have to look around for some solutions that can work for you. I mean, even you know you are overreacting. So perhaps it is time to do something about it before you get into a relationship and it begins to cause issues there.

I am already in a discussion group where a woman is saying her anxieties is jeopardizing her marriage.

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Zendrya

1 y
Dude I've been in a relationship for 8 years now, I have a clinically diagnosed anxiety disorder that I am getting treatment for. The point of the post wasn't my untreated anxiety it was that I wasn't sure if my uncomfortable feeling was legit or my anxiety. Sometimes you just need outsiders to remind you of reality when your brain is fucked up 😛
RolandCuthbert

1 y
So how am I supposed to know you have been in a relationship for 8 years and are getting treatment for anxiety?
Zendrya

1 y
You weren't... But my post wasn't about that in the first place. You shouldn't have just assumed all these things about me because now you look like a dink 😛 instead of answering my question (which was either yes you're overreacting or no you're not) you made a rant about me that was all incorrect
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RolandCuthbert

1 y
Dude. . .

You have more going on than just anxiety.
Zendrya

1 y
Correct I do but also not relevant to this post

Answer 3

Zendrya

Dude I've been in a relationship for 8 years now, I have a clinically diagnosed anxiety disorder that I am getting treatment for. The point of the post wasn't my untreated anxiety it was that I wasn't sure if my uncomfortable feeling was legit or my anxiety. Sometimes you just need outsiders to remind you of reality when your brain is fucked up 😛

Answer 4

RolandCuthbert

So how am I supposed to know you have been in a relationship for 8 years and are getting treatment for anxiety?

Answer 5

Zendrya

You weren't... But my post wasn't about that in the first place. You shouldn't have just assumed all these things about me because now you look like a dink 😛 instead of answering my question (which was either yes you're overreacting or no you're not) you made a rant about me that was all incorrect

Answer 6

RolandCuthbert

Dude. . .

You have more going on than just anxiety.

Answer 7

Zendrya

Correct I do but also not relevant to this post

Answer 8

JustRollTheDice | 397 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Guru

Probably saw it and remembers you as a child so was reminded you're not

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Answer 9

wittymilf | 472 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Guru

Yeah it’s awkward... but you’re a woman and he’s a man so 🤷‍♀️

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Answer 10

Levin | 429 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Master

When you say a minor, how old are you talking?

TBH, you look pretty womanly there.

I mean, he's a sad creep by the sounds of it. Probably pity him more than anything.

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Answer 11

KingDio | 73 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Yoda

I would say it was cringy as hell having someone watch you grow up and say that and quite understandable with the over reaction but you take it how you feel about it at the time

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Answer 12

WeAreChaos

Xper 3

Yea cringy and creepy
If I were you, I'd steer clear of him

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Answer 13

Anonymous

You are assuming his comment was about your tits. He didn't say that though. Not saying you're wrong, but you don't KNOW that's what he meant. Would you assume ANY comment that anyone makes about the pic is about your boobs?

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Answer 14

Tyrael | 77 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Yoda

Yeah you're overreacting. That's a pretty common thing for a long term family friend or member to say. If it's just that one thing, then yeah it's pretty innocent.

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1 Person

Zendrya

1 y
I totally get that. If it had've been a comment on a picture like my profile picture I really wouldn't have thought anything of it. It was that pic specifically just cause it's got boobs in it 😛 felt more sexual then friendly but thanks ☺️
Tyrael

1 y
I can understand that feeling, but yeah if it was you in a bikini or something? That would be concerning, but this one I wouldn't fret over, just take the compliment I'd say 😊 you're welcome

Answer 15

Zendrya

I totally get that. If it had've been a comment on a picture like my profile picture I really wouldn't have thought anything of it. It was that pic specifically just cause it's got boobs in it 😛 felt more sexual then friendly but thanks ☺️

Answer 16

Tyrael

I can understand that feeling, but yeah if it was you in a bikini or something? That would be concerning, but this one I wouldn't fret over, just take the compliment I'd say 😊 you're welcome

Answer 17

Whtevernever

Xper 6

Yes and I didn't even read the rest. The answer is yes.

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Answer 18

msc545 | 601 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Guru

Either try to forget it or ask him what he meant. It is the ambiguity that is making you anxious.

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Answer 19

Anonymous

Are you the type of person who hates men and is looking for things to justify your feelings? Because that is how it comes across to me.

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1 Person

Zendrya

1 y
Nope, not even a little
Opinion Owner

1 y
I am the type of person that tries to give someone the benefit of the doubt when I am unsure. Repeated exposure to their behaviour can make it clear whether they are pervy or not

Answer 20

Zendrya

Nope, not even a little

Answer 21

Opinion Owner

I am the type of person that tries to give someone the benefit of the doubt when I am unsure. Repeated exposure to their behaviour can make it clear whether they are pervy or not