How can I forgive my ex for hurting me and stop feeling jealous of him?

Anonymous
I’m going to be as transparent as glass right now.
I feel sadness and even jealousy to see my ex in a happy relationship.
He has a girlfriend. She probably makes him happy and I REALLY want to be happy for him but deep down I don’t feel like he deserves it. I feel disgusting to be that spiteful to somebody who I supposedly loved.
There are 2 sides to every story. What happened between us is long and complicated but pretty easy to explain. Without making myself into some kind of helpless victim, I did choose to stay. But that’s because I thought he was a good person. And I compared every action he took against me to the things I had done in my life at one point or another and felt like “who am I to make him out to be some kind of villain when we all make mistakes?” But eventually he did something that hurt so badly that I haven’t been able to emotionally fully recover. Everything he may have done before then -collectively combined- couldn’t even add up to the pain of that one action. I guess what I’m saying is that I simply didn’t expect for him to do that to me. But he did.
I beat myself up trying to search inward to find out what can I fix to be a person who was worth treating better than I had been treated? But I eventually came back empty handed and I realized that he played me because he was not a good person towards me. And the good parts about him-he was saving it up for somebody like his current girlfriend.
the insult is that the woman he cheated on me with isn’t even his current girlfriend. His current is a nice girl. And I know I’m just on the outside looking in but I don’t feel like he deserves a nice girl. For as much as the experienced of being played humbled me and prompted me to try to change-I must admit that I was a nice girl too. So I think, why would you pretend to love me and then hurt me for no other reason that that you didn’t care about my feelings - Only to meet a girl who seems nice but treat her totally different than you treated me?
Updates:
13 d
To make it clear I’m not jealous of his girlfriend. And just so that the information is clear, she isn’t “prettier” than me. She IS pretty, but she doesn’t look that much different from me to be honest. We have the same skin color, build, style, and even similar facial features so her looks don’t stand out from mine. I don’t know her personality but she is the TOTAL OPPOSITE of the woman he cheated on me with and so was I. I can tell she is a good girl-just like I was.
How can I forgive my ex for hurting me and stop feeling jealous of him?
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