I‘m soo stupid?

I‘m so stupid.

I catch comparing myself to one of my female classmates that is really good at everything. The ironic is, that she bullied me once and is a narcissist and yet I still envy her because she is so smart. People tendency not to look up to me (anymore), they think I‘m stupid, belittle me everytime and talk to me like I‘m a little kid who needs a „special“ explanation. That’s why I was feeling very low and wanted to end my life because it wasn’t worth it if I‘m not worthy to other people. Last year, I felt good about myself because I was doing good in class and many people looked up to me what I saw as a huge compliment and motivation to keep going but now... I just don’t want to do this anymore. What do you think?
I‘m soo stupid?
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