I'm a fiction writer. Sometimes, some of my characters are female. Many are, in fact. And while writers have the benefit of the doubt of claiming their "world is fictional," some lines will break the laws of verisimilitude and just sound completely crazy.
So, seriously or sarcastically, what are some things you'll NEVER hear a real life woman ever say? Something where if you see it typed, you'll immediately know that's a catfish or transwoman.