Did I say something wrong? Should I try to fix it or just leave it?

The boy I have been involved with for the past few months and I both work a lot. We work 6 day weeks and we work almost opposite hours, because of this we haven't seen each other in almost three weeks.

If I'm honest I was starting to worry because I wasn't sure if he wanted to see me any more (I've used the old "I'm too busy with work" thing more than a few times to get rid of boys I'm not interested in) and I wanted to talk to him to make sure we were on the same page. I sent him a message just asking if we could catch up in person and talk about a few things and he replied with "What did you want to talk about?" and then it was followed by "hopefully I'll have some free time this week".

I replied with "It's nothing much? I would prefer to talk about it in person though. I suck at wording things sometimes ahaha

Either way just let me know if you get some free time! I finish work at around 4pm everyday this week so I'm free after that?"

I know he saw the message and I got no reply to it, and after talking to a few friends they told me it would be best to be honest so I sent him "I would still prefer to talk to you in person but I'll just bite the bullet here and be honest, I feel like it's only fair.

I'm sort of getting the feeling you don't want to see me and I could be wrong but if you aren't interested I would prefer if you told me.

If that's the case then I totally I understand, that's life sometimes and while I might be disappointed but I would rather know then be left hanging.

I didn't just want to talk to you about that when I asked to see you though, I had a few other (less ominous sounding) things I wanted to talk about as well ahaha

I just don't want to feel like I'm bothering you or being annoying by asking you to get together?"

He has also viewed this message and not replied, it has been over 12 hours. I'm not sure what to think? I feel like his lack of a reply is my answer but I have sort of a "fix it" nature so I want to send a follow up message but I'm not sure if I should?

Did I say something wrong or did things come across as confrontational? Should I just leave it? Any help interpreting things?


Most Helpful Girl

  • This whole thing sounds a lot like the situation I've been in these past few weeks and I finally woke up to an answer this morning from my guy 24 hours after I sent the text. I don't know how much of what he said is true, but I know he is busy, when we started dating, his hadn't qualified for his job, now he has he said he didn't realized how much he would be working & that he promises I did nothing at all wrong, it was his fault! Still I find it a cop out, I understand we all have to work, some more than others - but surely you could at least try and make it work.

    Anyway I tried all that, when I sensed he didn't want to see me anymore I said something silmilar, but worded different to what you said 'I'm sort of getting the feeling you don't want to see me and I could be wrong but if you aren't interested I would prefer if you told me.'

    I got no reply either and as much as I'm a fix it like you, there would have been no point me degrading myself further and keep bothering him, he got the text, it's up to him now, you can't make him text back, you can text him till the earths end, he's still not going to text back unless he wants to.

    The only advice I can give you is what I done. I left him for a week when he became distant, then tried again at which point he was still responding, when I asked if he was free to see me ANY night, I never heard from him, that's when I told him how I felt and to correct me if I was wrong, he never did, so I left him.

    About a week and a half later I drunk text him, I said know I probably said and did 101 things wrong, but I'd like to try again, but obviously that was upto him too, that's when I finally got a reply 24 hours after. I don't know what made him reply and I can't gaurentee this guy will do the same.

    Personally I think you deserve better and so do I, I know right now I'm sure you don't want better, you just want him back, but sometimes there's nothing more you can do.

    I think you can only really give him one chance, one shot, one try and if he doesn't reply, then there is really nothing you can do but leave him and hope he comes back to you.

    12 hours for a reply isn't looking good, I'd say after 24 hours he probably won't bother texting ever. I may be wrong, I hope I am. Good luck :)


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Your work schedules is a legitimate reason for not being able to see each other. I don't know the whole picture, but couldn't he have kept in contact with you during those few weeks via phone, text, e-mail?

    Your message seems reasonable, and his lack of reply might indicate he's not interested. I would just leave it. If he doesn't respond soon then I'd move on.


What Girls Said 1

  • I'm in a very similar situation. My boyfriend just got a second job at night plus his one during the day & we have conflicting hours also, So I understand if your worried that you said something wrong. I think you should try and plan a date or something like maybe a week or two in advance so it's not this constant messaging of "are you free". then you are garrenteed to see him. That's at least what I had to do & it worked out very well. my last bit of advise is to try to be paitent and realize you both are busy with work. You just have to keep in mind that Its not impossible to find time to be with each other it just takes planing a head and effort on his end and yours. I hope this helps you out.

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