How do you let a guy down gently?

This guy I met is really sweet and I like him but only as a friend. His cousin is a friend of mine and he told her that I was his girlfriend.

We've been out but for coffee and stuff like that but I wouldn't consider them dates. He hasn't even held my hand.

I have tried to like him but I just can't have those types of feelings for him.

I don't want go hurt him. What do I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • The best advice I can give you is to be honest with him, and as you have indicated you want to let him down gently, so there is no reason you can't be both honest and gentle. Think about how you would like to be let down gently and just think of this when you are letting him down. I know when I was in high school there was a girl I dated for a little while and she really liked me a LOT, and I liked the fact that she felt this way about me, but I didn't feel quite the same way about her, and before we became to involved (sexual) I sat her down and was gentle but honest with her. Granted I felt bad that I hurt her feelings, but was glad we hadn't become sexual and then I had to let her down, because it would have seemed that I just used her. So while I didn't like hurting her I was glad I was honest with her. I hope that helps


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Respect him as a man, tell him straight up you don't want a relationship.

    I'd highly suggest not doing the whole "you're a really nice guy... BUT... I just want to be friends", just tell him you have no feelings for him- in THAT way I mean.

    IMO being let down "gently" is synonymous to "aw, I don't wanna hurt the poor babies feelings!", but that might just be me.

    I like things to be said straight forward, no bullsh*t, just cold hard facts. Otherwise I just feel like my manhood is being questioned.

    *puts on sunglasses*

  • I'm sure he knows how you feel; there's no reason to hurt his feelings by saying it to him directly. If he asks you on a formal date THEN you would have to tell him that you justy want to stay friends.


What Girls Said 1

  • this kind of stuff is always hard, because it sounds like you don't want to lose him as a friend or hurt him :(

    just be honest, and do it as soon as possible, the longer he doesn't know the more attached he will be and the harder it will become

    talk to him and tell him you don't want to hurt his feelings or anything, but you think it would be best if the two of you were only friends. make sure you leave no room for confusion so he doesn't keep on thinking there might be a chance.