Girlfriend doesn't know how to be a girlfriend?

This is her first real relationship and I feel like she used to to text me all the time couldn't stay away. But it was all sexual and she's always been uncomftorable showing affecton and feelings and even admitted this. We are long distance now and she won't text a lot she won't do a lot of anything. She doesn't go out much with friends just goes to school and work. then she cries sometimes because we can't be together. I asked her if she's sad and why she doesn't go out with friends really. she says she's fine and rubs it off like nothing. I don't know if she is really a tough chick or just doesn't know how to act. feel like I'm not even in a relationship sometimes with her.

Then she tells me I act like I don't care or want her around only for sex.. I text her almost once a day she won't reciprocate as much as I want. She confusing me. Makes me feel wipped. She will sometimes nudge me off yeah I'll text you later My battery gunna die. But then I know she's being faithful because we've brought this topic up and she was extremely genuine and even offered a break when I was suspicios.

She said she will always be here for me no matter what if I want her. she got jealous for some petty stuff didn't talk to me for a week and then blew up on me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Women want a steady man in their lives, who devotes all of himself to her. The more he loves her, the less chance there is that he will find another woman and leave his wife with her kids to fend for herself. If he leaves her as a girlfirend with kids, well, that's much worse.

    Sex is the reward for having put in your due, having denied yourself and what you want (Being sex) long enough to determine if you want to spend the rest of your life with her.

    Sex happens after marriage, after you pledge your heart, mind, soul, and entire life to her.

    Sex before then clouds the soul and confuses the mind. Is he my forever mate? She asks herself. He sure seemed quick to cement our bond physically, so that must mean we will be together forever.

    In your mind, you just want to do what feels good. But in her mind, she wants more. She feels like you only use her for sex, because you are stagnant. She is still only your girlfriend. There is no commitment of any kind with her, other than that. She desires more. Deep down, she may even desire a family.

    These are important, life altering things that you should find out from her before having sex with her. That is why sex changes everything. In her mind you are taking advantage of her body without the honorable life commitment, and in a way, that is exactly what you're doing.

    We are all ingrained with desires. Men want to be loved, as do women. There are different levels of love, and healthy women desire to be loved above all else by their men. It keeps them safe, happy, and satisfied. Being her "boyfriend" simply is not enough.

    • This is solid and I appreciate the elaborate feedback but we used to both be promiscuous. I know we both don't believe in waiting till marriage to have sex.

    • Well, what you believe in may be driving you to do the wrong thing, or at least, doing the right thing at the wrong time. Some times we have the wrong ideals and ideas of the way things should be done.

      I would counsel you to take a step back and see what you can do to create a more intimate bond with one another. Sex opens so many doors to the heart, that can result in pain, that creates a desire for more sex (And thusly intimate bonding). I would theorize that you both are damaged in some way.

      I only speak because I too have been hurt bad in life, and yeah, sex was involved a lot of the time.

      I can tell you that God is there for you, if you will only call out to Him for help. He has helped heal and soften my heart, my friend. He can do it for you, too. I hope you discover how soft and tender your heart truly is.

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What Girls Said 3

  • How do you think a gf is supposed to act

    How do you think a bf is supposed to act?

    Just looking for a frame of reference here so I know what you're asking:)

    • Just want open communication she seems so strong sometimes then so feeble other mixed signals. It's exhuasting to keep up.

  • Break up with her and date a girl who knows how...

  • She sounds depressed. Anyway, tell her what you wrote here. This stuff needs to be discussed with her. That's the only way it will get better.


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