Am I doing the right thing? Looking for a guys outlook on this?

So I am into this man. We hooked up once and now things are different. He has his days where we talk all day and thin other days where he says nothing. Would I be playing my cards right if I stopped texting him, until he text/ calls me first?

  • yes your doing the right thing.
    Vote A
  • no he will just forget about you and move on?
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you're the one always texting/calling first, then sure.

    I think it's pretty normal to talk some days, and not some other days. Just because you like someone doesn't mean you have to constantly be in communication with them.

    I've had women whom I really liked, and would only text/call them once a week or so. Not because I didn't care, but really I had other stuff to do, and if I can't see the person face-to-face, what's the point? And yes I've caught a lot of flak because of that, and it turns out some women thought I was totally uninterested in them, or just reaching out for them because I was feeling lonely, which really wasn't the case.

    And guess what? I haven't changed. I still act that way. So don't assume that just because someone doesn't feel the need to be in constant communication with you, that they don't care about you.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • If you only hooked up the one time, did he ask you out or want to see you after that? Sorry to be blunt, but if all he does is sporadically text you it appears he's not interested. I may be wrong, but either way I think you should back off for a bit. Let him show some interest and take initiative. If he likes you, believe me he will make the effort!

    • No me and him talk all the time. Exp when he has his kids. I will not text or talk to him at them times. Why because that is his kids time and his time with them.
      I just got tired of texting him first and the fact that he blew me off this past weekend. So I want him to chase me a bit.

    • Well that does explain things a bit more. Every couple and dating situation has its own pace/frequency, and that can only be figured out over time. However, in the beginning I feel it's the man's job to drive the situation. You can and should reciprocate, of course, but as the girl you need to feel like you're being pursued.

    • Yeah he said he wanted to see me again. Thing is this. He has kids and I have kids. On top of working a lot, 9 both parts. Just want him to know that I am into him, but that he has to be the same. Did not text him all day yesterday and he texted me that afternoon. :) so I am just going to let him text first for a bit. This way I don't feel like I am bugging him at all.

  • I know I have done this with girls before, waited, and waited and waited.. what happens if both are waiting.. nothing, but a big waste of time, and problems escalate when there is no conversation happening. Conversation is key, in my opinion.

  • I chose option A, though I would prefer another option for play it by ear, or something like that. If his behaviour bothers you, why don't you talk to him about it?


What Girls Said 1

  • What Hrothgar said. Not initiating contact might work in the short run, but if you want to change it, just ask him about it.

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