I've seen quite a few instances where someone will answer a question then get outright defensive if the QA objects to their post. They proceed to immediately resort to the overused, often misplaced phrase "You're just mad because I didn't tell you what you want to hear." without stepping back and humbly considering if they don't have all of the facts. Too many people here seem incapable of giving a SUBJECTIVE, helpful answer without using their position as an opportunity to act like they're on a panel of jurors. It's incredibly frustrating to come here for sincere help and have a run in with several people who are seemingly more interested in stroking their ego with arrogant, pushy assumptions based off of impartial facts rather than truly being of help. There have been a couple of times where I've made a post, in the heat of the moment boiling over with frustration, and some stranger who has absolutely ZERO hands on experience of my personality nor truly knows the depth of my relationships, friendships, and overall life, will sit there and try to tell me who I am, what I'm about, and what my core problems are. Then if I don't submit to their wrong conclusion, they're quick to get pissy and tell me how right they are despite the fact that THEY DO NOT KNOW ME.
Is it that difficult to advise someone on a situation without making all types of assumptions about their character and the way they interact with others? Do you know how to specifically advise someone on a situation at hand without telling them who they are and categorizing their personality based strictly on the limited exposure you have of them? What are your thoughts on this post? Any personal experiences?
Most Helpful Guy
i think this goes both ways.
Yes people should not presume to know things they don't know about situations, people, or whatever. they should be thoughtful when answering a question to try and sort of straddle a line between offering advice without projecting unfair bias or opinions
That said, when you ask a question you are soliciting advice. you are soliciting opinions. you are essentially standing before the jury and asking their opinion.
It's just a balancing act. I know I try and answer questions as fair as I can without intentionally skewering the asker but even still people I've had to go on the defensive. Sometimes the scenario is clear or people read into things (fair or foul) where they shouldn't. Just try and keep in mind the old adage no one can hurt your feelings without your permission. I think that extends to the notion of someone presuming something that isn't true or offering an opinion that may just be flat out wrong. just consider that MOST people are trying to help, if their help isn't helpful ignore it1
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