Why Women Don't Like "Nice Guys".

I want to be make something clear before i write this my take, I actually want a real nice guy but the problem is, genuine nice guys don't whine and bitch about themselves not being able to find a girlfriend or get laid.

This My take is NOT about genuine nice guys, It is about those guys who all claim to be nice guys.

This is my experience of the so called "nice guys".

Why Women Don't Like "Nice Guys".

-You're constantly putting yourself down.

So i've gone on some dates with the so called nice guys, because i gave them a chance and guess what? the whole date they complained to me about how bad there luck has been, why am i on a date with them, and ONLY talked about themselves, it was more like i was a shrink listening to all there problems, when i go on a date i try to be the best version of myself and guess what? so should everyone, this doesn't mean be fake or show someone a personality which isn't you, it means put your best foot forward and show yourself to be a catch, nothing is more unattractive than someone who constantly wallows in self pity and thinks they should have women chucking themselves at them because they're a "nice guy" the amount of times i've seen men on online dating write on there profiles they're ugly or no one is replying to them because they're such a great guy and women only date idiots, know what? why would anyone in there right mind want to be with someone who is telling us no one wants them and how unattractive they're period.

-Its always the woman's fault.

So these "nice guys" think that women are the problem, ever thought to think maybe you should work on yourselves? instead of telling the whole world how much women have never liked you or wanted you because you're such a nice guy? if you really were that much of a catch then you wouldn't be having these issues, women shouldn't be made to feel bad because they just don't fancy you, attraction isn't something we can control and it's okay for us to not find you attractive.

-You think most women care about about your cock.

Guess what? most women i know don't even care about cock size, i don't know a single woman who has on her requirement list a "big dick" unless your dick is literally extremely below average or micro most women don't care.

-You prey on vulnerable women.

Yup, my experience of these so called nice guys will befriend women and then one day she has a fight with her boyfriend, mr "nice guy" comes to the rescue because he "respects and cares for her so much" that he will try push her into getting intimate with him at a vulnerable moment because this is the only time they can get there dicks wet, you really think that comforting her should mean she should want to sleep with you? GTFO.

_They are Doormats.

Why would any women want to be with a man with no backbone?, if you can't defend yourself or let people push you into doing things you don't want to do, why should we want to be with you?

No this doesn't mean we want to be treated like shit, this means we want you to stand up for what you think is right, be your own person, don't allow yourself to be manipulated or walked upon.

_They aren't Nice Guys.

I have never and i mean ever, heard the phase "nice guy" come from a man who was actually a nice person, anyone who constantly thinks they're owned something from society for no reason other than being a nice person is delusional, you need to actually try to make things work and if they don't then you don't give up and keep trying, i've been rejected, people haven't liked me and know what? i tell them, that is fine, know why? because we can't help who we're attracted to and why would we all be attracted to the same people, that would make life boring right?, instead of whining about why women don't like you, try be more positive and actually realize your life isn't over just because some woman doesn't fancy you, there are more important things in life.

To all you genuine nice guys, this is NOT about you.

If i offended any of you "nice guys" well i'm sorry but this is my experience with them.

Thank you :)


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  • OMG this just spoke to me in so many ways!!! I was talking to a guy for 3 months and he was wondering why girls don't like him alll the time, and he would tell me he doesn't understand women, and women are so frustrating. He's not even that nice of a person, but he thinks he's a nice guy! Like bruh, I don't care about your degree, I'm getting on too, you think you're amazing and yet you're so insecure at the same time. Like I tried to help him get over it, but he won't and then he stops talking to me and calls me a basic bitch out of nowhere and unfollows me on instagram as if I did something wrong. Like sorry you didn't put any effort or take me out anywhere so yeah of course I won't go further than make out with you since you haven't shown me anything genuine. Texting everyday doesn't mean shit!

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What Guys Said 41

  • About your first point, isn't it sometimes the case, in fact I would say often the case, that it's nobody's fault at all?

    By that I mean you claim that "nice guys" claim they are saying it's women's fault that women don't find them attractive? But then turn around and say, no, it's *their* fault.

    But seriously, aren't there many cases when IT'S NOBODY'S FAULT? I mean, what if the person just lost the genetic lottery? Is it *still* their fault that people don't find him/her attractive? What if the person just never had a particularly good mentor to be attractive (bad parents, no siblings or bad siblings, or worse, family that outright gave terrible advice). Would it still be their fault?

    In these cases, wouldn't it just be nobody's fault? Or if it is the individual's fault, shouldn't friends step in and suggest things to help (which frankly this take doesn't do nearly as much as it just complains about them)

    I think you're very much onto something, PrincessPie, in that complaining about women won't make "nice guys" attractive. I would argue, however, that "nice guy" bashing isn't productive either, except perhaps to vent one's own frustrations.

    And Australia... what is up with your "down unders" down under? And why do you feel the need to lie about slipping a few extra shrimps on the barbie? I agree with PrincessPie, unless the circumstances are extreme, women don't care how much shrimp you have on the kabob.

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    • I liked your comment but wanted to add on, that some "nice guys" tend to put more blame on theirselves than women. I've seen it with some people I knew back in high school, they put blame on theirself and fell into the self-pitying part of her article (which also doesn't help). Depending on the culture their in, and their friends and family, them not having a girlfriend or having trouble finding one may put pressure on themselves leading To a self-destructive cycle.

      Sometimes genuinely good people just aren't lucky when it comes to dating and it doesn't mean anything is wrong with them. I would also like to throw out that if a guy vents about his dating woes on the odd occasion he's not a "nice guy", he's human. I'm pretty sure most people have needed a friend after a break up or to get advice from. I was just throwing it out there because I've seen genuinely nice guys be lumped in with "nice guys" way more than once.

  • I recommend using the term "Good Guy" to describe the confident, positive, moral men, and keeping "Nice Guy" to describe the whiny, no-backbone, can't-make-a-decision doormat guys. By using a separate term for each, it leads to less confusion.

    Most women want a Good Guy, *not* a Nice Guy.

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  • I put myself down cause care and i am an perfectionist. My boss and manager told i do a damn good job but felt i did about 100 mistakes. I dont tell a girls about on a date cause. why?

    I agree its not her fault when things dont work out. It save both of our time, money and heart ache. It might be number of reasons why things went south. Learn and move on.

    Auuuuuuuuu okay? If a guy is confident then that stuff dont matter. If you small down there then there's tons of options on how to please her. Facts! Now get the eating.

    Thats a sexual fantasy more so than my reality. If anything her walls will be more harder to penetrate. Makes no sense. Plus its pointless cause she can easily find another guy who was childhood friend and dump me. Lol

    Door matt.. always was told that. But if i feel there's nothing wrong then im not going to argue the point. But i feel someone is getting over on me then i will say something. I just hate how people have this manipulative mentality that i have to put people in there place. I get highly pissed when people try to use me.

    Last 2 i dont care to much about. But yeah.

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    • Treat people how you would like to be treated, at first. Then treat them how they treat you. The decent ones will change, the others aren't worth bothering with.

  • The worst nice guy is the male feminist. The most vile human being on the planet. He has no self esteem, so he'll stoop to any level, and no respect for women, only the illusion of it. "I'm a feminist therefor you MUST believe that I accept women, bitch."

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    • my sociology professor was one of these guys. i hated going to his class because all he talked about was his childhood and feminism and "how i switched from city water to deep well water because city water tastes like chlorine and well water tastes like nothing" thats really the only thing i remember from his class

  • It's very cheap to just write off someone you reject by saying, "well he was only pretending to be nice." Breaking news: people feel disappointed by rejection. As for the main body point by point...

    1. I can understand why it wouldn't be attractive, and I guess I can agree. Though you should perhaps consider that these people just want to be loved like you or me. There's no point engaging in a relationship with someone if you can't be open with them or vent. Frankly, I personally wouldn't care. I might not like it too much but I'd be a sport about it.

    2. This is a bit of a double edged sword here because then are we supposed to believe that it's never the woman's fault? I remember back when I used to think that women wanted a guy to treat them well I was rejected by a girl who chose some other guy over me. He ended up physically abusing her. Needless to say I had the last laugh. But that's my fault right?

    3. Come on. This matters. I know it matters. You know it matters. Everyone else knows this matters. Let's not kid ourselves here.

    4. Eh... that's rather anecdotal so I can't really argue for or against it.

    5. Yes. I agree with this.

    6. This goes back to what I originally wrote. Are they really not nice guys or do you just tell yourself that because it's convenient as opposed to acknowledging potential poor decisions?

    Throughout middle school, and the first half of high school I was a genuinely nice guy. I really was. I was supportive, friendly, helpful, and a good listener who was there for those around me. Do you know what that got me? Where it got me? Nowhere. I ended up alone and miserable because I tried doing the right thing. Time went on and I learned or adapted. So one day I was at a party and the most astonishing thing happened! I simply behaved in a superficial and impersonal manner towards women. Yet, this somehow gained me more interest over the span of several months than I had gotten in years of being a nice guy. Lesson learned. Finally, as someone who once was a nice guy, it's pretty damned insulting of you to say that I didn't get anywhere because my niceties, "weren't real." They were, "fake." A figment of my imagination! There's credence to the idea that nice guys finish last. And I will never go back to where I was those years ago.

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    • Why was you miserable because you were alone?

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    • About count 2, read my post

      "I was rejected by a girl who chose some other guy over me. He ended up physically abusing her. Needless to say I had the last laugh."

      On one occasion, this happened to me. However, I wasn't laughing. Now I believe that you weren't literally laughing at a woman you allege to have cared about, but either this isn't the best choice of words or on some level you were kind of gloating over her misfortune.

      Could you clarify that situation some more?

      P. S., It *is* a great party!

    • Well long story short a whole bunch of other things came up and as it turns out I dodged a bullet. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to change my jacket.

  • I keep hearing women say this, are their any nice guys out their? I mean women are constantly, and I do mean constantly, complaining that their are no nice guys, guys are assholes etc. The ask for, demand even, for a nice guy. Then they turn around and bitch about the nice guy not being nice. Its really baffling, so the assholes are assholes, and the nice guys are assholes too? All of them? Because right now I really have not heard any criteria from a woman that would make a guy a "nice guy", like a "real" nice guy not this "fake" nice guy. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure their are guys like this (their are definitely women like this) but the way women talk about it it gives the impression that 45% of the male population are outright assholes, the other 45% are secret assholes i. e. the "nice guy" and another 5% are gay. Not leaving a huge part of the population available. The fact is most nice guys are nice guys, now the nice guy is obviously going to have the opposite traits of an asshole because you know they would then be assholes if they didn't. So them being a "doormat" okay, sure, what does that mean exactly? In my experience women dismiss men before the man has a chance to prove himself, they decide a guy who is nice is a door mat when he is just trying to be nice and consider what she wants. I think quite honestly that the majority of what women say on this subject is bullshit. I mean how many of these takes are we going to be given? Yes we get it, every man is either an asshole or a "nice guy" which is code for asshole. Lets move on now. I mean maybe he isn't really an asshole, maybe your just a bitch? Maybe your making assumptions, maybe you don't understand the difference between being courtesy and being a push over? Maybe your not communicating with them? Maybe they are very bad at reading social cues? I mean in all honesty with women talking about this like its a pandemic that is killing off all available men, I just don't see that happening. Lets just have women admit what they really feel so we can move on, women hate nice guys period. Not the pseudo nice guy, all nice guys. That's why every woman complains that their husband/boyfriend is an asshole, that's why women talk about how all men are assholes because these are the guys women go after. ITs fine, I get it (sort of), but pretending like what is very obviously the case isn't, isn't solving the problem. Just admit it that you like assholes because of their pseudo confidence and move on.

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  • Yeah there are some narcissists and victim mentality having dudes out their repping the "nice guy" crew, but their just posers.

    There are actually a lot of real og nice guys out there tough.
    But, they too face the same problem: can't get their d*cks wet.

    Before getting to the point, quick note:

    " guys will befriend women and then one day she has a fight with her boyfriend, mr "nice guy" comes to the rescue because he "respects and cares for her so much" that he will try push her into getting intimate with him " - there is a reason the population of such guys are pretty much kept at bay😂😂😂.
    Fr tough, those guys are pure scum.

    Now to the main point, girls love to push the whiny, needy , sometimes narcissistic and jerk "nice guy" on every nice guy.
    And they point it as the reason why they dont like them.
    Actually most guys aren't like that, but they just go unnoticed. But if one ever makes the mistake of complaining he can't get girls, he is immediately put in that category.

    No disrespect to the take owner, you presented the take really good, and no disrespect to women, i love women, the "nice" ones at least.. 😁

    But here's the thing: when it comes to sex, dating and relationships, men are the hunters and women are the prey. It's as simple as that guys. You dont take advice from deer as to how to catch a deer, you ask a good hunter. Even if a deer really wants to help you, the deer has no clue how it got caught, or can get caught. If you ask a woman how she fell for a guy, it most likely won't be one single thing. Even if she tells you a particular incident, there was most likely a lot of other things/factors leading up to it.

    The thing with "nice guys" , as well as overly agressive guys/creeps is that they are simply inefficient hunters.

    They are on the opposite ends of the spectrum. nice guys are the hunters that stay in the same hidden spot and never take the shot. They dont get closer for fear of scaring the prey, and wait for the "perfect" shot that will never come.

    Overaggressive guys/creeps are the dumbass hunters who drop the gun at the first sight of a deer, and run at them out of the bushes screaming :" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

    not only do they scare their target deer away, but also every single deer present at the scene.

    This is exactly what the nice guy wants to avoid, but he is too scared to even make more strategic moves.

    A good hunter, keeps his cool, takes some chances to move as close as he can get, and then takes the shot 😎

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    • Let's be fair to the deers tough 😁

      The perfect hunter is pretty much a myth.
      Very few men can actually close im perfectly and take the shot without the deer noticing.

      Most of the time you get close enough, the deer notices.
      If you are getting any closer, its because the deer lets you, and likes you, and maybe is hoping that you take the shot.
      For every guy being frustrated out there that he can't get a girl, there is a girl out there , frustrated at the fact that that cute guy didn't make a move (take the shot).

      So, for the nice guys its a simple thing of taking a chance. Dont stay in the bushes forever, take some chances, and if you feel you have come close enough, dont be afraid to take a shot. You may miss or you may hit. Dont worry too much.

      Good luck hunting

  • Being A GOOD Indian enjoyed your Take.

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  • They hate women who rejects them & They hate strong men !
    "Passive Aggressive" behaviors are always a turn off for both sexes.

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  • Are you saying there’s no such thing as a truly genuine nice guy? Not all nice men bicker about how much they dislike themselves. Some guys are nice and have good self confidence.

    For me personally, I find myself to be a kind gentleman. I lack self confidence, am shy, and,(like everyone), have things I dislike about myself. However, if I found a girlfriend, I wouldn’t talk to her about it. Having her would increase would boost my self esteem and help me let go of my self hatred. Lastly, I wouldn’t let her walk all over me. I would see her as my partner and friend, not my master. I believe myself to be a genuine nice guy.

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    • Absolutely not there are many nice guys but that isn't the kind i'm talking about which i did write in my take , but i've met plenty of guys who constantly bicker and whine about how women don't like them and blame women for the fact that they are not desirable to them.
      I can only go by my own experiences and what the women in my life have told me.

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    • You didn't whine about why you can't get laid or why women should like you.
      My take does not apply to you! yes you seem like a nice person.

    • Thank you. *blush*

  • Remember that the nice guys in that sense is trademarked. No one calls themselves nice. I'm genuine and don't blame people for not being interested. I am glad we all have free will. Could you imagine if everyone was forced to marry and that is the only partner they have? Scary!

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    • @PrincessPie I totally agree with your take. But I'm Indian and displaying my country's flag on dick shape is offensive af. I don't know about your country but it is a federal offense here with a prison sentence up to 3 years.

      Yup Americans right, 3 years in jail. no freedom of expression excuse

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    • not you Princess Pie

    • Being offended is not equal to murder. It simply makes no sense to me how something so insignificant as a phallic representation featuring a flag would cause someone to go to jail for three years. Are we so horrible as a society that people need to be offended over a picture? I want to say here for the record that if you are offended during any disagreement we have, or anything you see me say, or anything you see or hear on social media or the internet it is entirely YOUR own fault, and really you need to take a long hard look at yourself. I respect your country and would love to visit someday. I am grateful to know that something like that will get me trouble so i won't do it, so that i can have a glorious experience.

  • I think the term "Nice Guys" is sexist, since we never use the term "Nice Gals" to insult women who do the exact same thing. This kind of behaviour isn't gender exclusive.

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  • I think this is very insightful, and I entirely agree.

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  • "Nice guys" aren't actually nice and that's why they aren't succeeding.

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  • You'll be surprised how nice of a guy I really am.

    Women do indeed like nice guys.

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  • Women like nice guys, they don't like beta white knights that have absolutely no respect for themselves and who can't handle not being around their girlfriends. I honestly don't agree with this.

    The whole term "Nice Guy" is basically an insult, if used as that term. However, everyone appreciates someone who is nice. So long as it isn't always at their own expense and isn't overdone.

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  • I agree with this one. "Nice guys" with the quotation marks are actually pathetic...

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  • Being nice is appreciated, not attractive. And someone saying they're nice is kind of like someone saying they're smart. The people who claim to be the nicest/smartest are usually the cruelest/dumbest.

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  • Another female turning nice guys into a bad thing. So if nice guys have all these problems what point is there in being nice if it never gets a guy what he wants from the opposite sex?

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    • You missed the point brother, she's saying these type of guys aren't real 'nice guys'. I think you may be exactly what she's talking about, no offense

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    • Ugh I'm done, it's so much easier to block you.

    • That's the thing, there's not a point in being "Nice." The women who have been the most attracted to me were ones I treated as Neutral. Being nice seems fake, even if it's completely genuine.

      A woman's PERCEPTION of you is what matters. That's why guys who are actually nice get viewed as pussies, while the one's women view as "Strong protectors" are the ones who wind up beating them and putting them in a hospital.

      Be nice if that's who you are, but realize that as far as a dating strategy goes it is simply insufficient. Your job isn't to BE better than the dozen shitbags she dated before; your job is to SEEM better than then. That's what gets your foot in the door. Only AFTER she has slept with you, should you treat her nice. If you treat her nice before hand, she'll wrongfully assume you're being fake and just want to sleep with her.

      A MASSIVE part of this is learning the myriad of false assumptions that women make, remember, perception is everything. Cheers.

  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 10

  • YES! TO THIS! I’m so tired of people expecting a cookie for being a decent person in 2017. Examples?
    Women: I cook, clean and suck dick. So does the rest of the female population? You don’t get a prize for being a grown woman.
    Men: I’m a nice guy, I respect women. As you should. I don’t owe you sex because you’re a self-proclaimed nice guy. That’s a prerequisite for any sort of dating to take place. What you have on TOP of being nice, or independent is what is important. Personality is key

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  • That's true most guys that call themselves "nice guys" aren't. It's pretty much like calling yourself humble...

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  • You hit the nail on the head with this one.

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  • Thank you! I'm tired of ugly men who refuse to get that no woman in her right mind is going to find ugly men attractive. Change your looks and your body and women will go out with you provided you have a good personality too.

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  • Actually we like good guys...
    we dont like wusses !

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  • If a guy says he's a nice guy and blames women for not wanting him he's definitely not a nice guy. If a guy wants sex at all he's not a nice guy. So unless he's a eunuch or completely gay.. he's not a nice guy.

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    • "If a guy wants sex at all he's not a nice guy."
      WTF?
      The problem here is that women thing a "Nice guy" means he has to be the damn messiah. That he's NEVER allowed to have a moment where he gets angry, he's NEVER allowed to express his sexual needs. Anything less than being PERFECT means he's "Not a nice guy."

      Come back down to reality and you'll see the world has a good enough number of nice guys. Having needs and shortcomings doesn't mean somebody isn't nice. Then people like you poison other women, so guys who actually are nice get to enjoy a nice handicap due to your insane preconceptions.

    • @ThatPersonOverThere I'm not poisoning anyone. It's just my opinion. Don't invalidate someone like that.

    • Yet you sit here openly invalidating every nice guy because they have the audacity of having needs and desires... See the problem?

  • Ok, we get it

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  • i like nice guys

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  • We call them "Nice Guys (TM)" like it's a brand name.

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  • Best take on this subject ever. Yeah, they don't know that if they really were nice they'd have better luck with women. My last serious relationship, I picked up after him, woke up before him to cook his food, made him tuna salad sandwiches for lunch because I recognized that he liked them, then did his laundry before he went back home to the US.

    I only did this because he was nice in the beginning, then he turned asshole and disrespectful really quickly, so I brought out the bitch.

    I have a feeling he told a friend about us and they convinced him to treat me like shit, my exes friends do get jealous of my relationship with them and usually ruin us, men also need to grow a pair and stop letting their friends juggle them, your male friends are not your girlfriends.

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