I Don't Want To Be a Dude

Obviously I cannot be a dude but everyone at some point in their lives has pondered what it would be like to be the opposite gender. It's hard being a woman, and I won't discount what a lot of us go through as being less hard, but rather just different. There are however large parts of those differences and not having ways to more easily handle them if I were to be a man, that would make me not want to go down that road if it were even possible because...

1. There is A LOT of pressure on men

When it comes to things like staying virginal, marriage, children, and being a mother, there is a lot of pressure on women which has it's own set of difficulties, but there is also this intense pressure on men that I don't think is talked about enough. I remember when my brother proposed to his now wife, one of the first things my parents said to him, was make sure before you get married that you can provide for both of you like it was 1950 and she didn't have a high paying job of her own (which she actually does). If a guy 'messes up' in life and has to move back home, it's looked at like he's some huge failure. If he can't provide or be a provider or be a success on his own, it's almost as if he falls off the radar of life including in the dating world.

2. The apparent inability to show emotion

Ironically, I know guys will say...well that's not what we do...and have at it, but let a woman walk into a room with her friends and family and announce she's pregnant or engaged or she got the job...the joy, the hugs, the emotion that flows in the room is palpable. I like being able to express that feeling and the feelings I have when I am sad. I can go to my best girlfriend when life has kicked me to the absolute lowest rung and cry on her shoulder and she's not weirded out or she doesn't suggest I play video games to cover up the fact that something real is happening. I've talked to so many guys who have never seen a father or a sibling, or they themselves have never cried or every time they've tried to express something, society sort of dictates they button up, stuff it down, and get it together, and be a f--king man! This type of bottling up is what kills some men because they have no outlet so they go to drink, drugs, or suicide as a way to cope.

3. Be a man

That phrase is tossed at men so frequently. Can't do 100 push-ups, be a man and get it done. Just got a finger sliced off by a saw, suck it up. When someone dies, "a real man" stays strong for everyone. Everything is about being a man. There is also a lot of hatred lobbed at gay men by some people who view them as not real men because they are gay. There are so many stupid arbitrary things that seem to define what exactly a man is to not just other men, but to women as well. Guys are already guys...lifting heavier weight, being gay, or not showing any emotion is not going to make guys any less guys. As a woman, I don't think I've ever in my life been seriously told to woman up, or be a woman, or had someone suggest to me that by not doing this or that, that I was any less of a woman.

4. Clothing parameters

I don't think as a woman, I've ever picked up a shirt and thought this color is too manly, I just can't wear it, or thought, hmm, someone might think I'm gay if I wear this, or knew for sure what would happen if I put on a pair of pants and went to my high school like that. There are simply these arbitrary societal restrictions on what a "real man" can wear that don't really exist with women, at least not anymore. It's one of the true pleasures of being a woman is having so much choice in clothing, shoes, hair, everything.

5. Creeper factor

"An unaccompanied man sits alone on a bench in front of a pool filled with children vs. an unaccompanied woman sits alone on a bench in front of a pool filled with children." What are you assuming hearing those scenarios. Without knowing that the person on the bench doesn't have any children in the pool, you may automatically assume the woman does or that she is just relaxing in the afternoon and perhaps this was the only bench available. Your first thought probably wasn't, oh that lady is probably a creeper or a pedo. We as a society tend to assume the worst sometimes, of all men. Even if a man sits and does the same thing as a female counterpart, it can be viewed as creepy when he does it simply because he is a man. And assumptions about who and what you are, only get worse the darker your skin. If you've got black or brown skin, simply standing on a corner with friends or walking down the street behind someone minding your business can lead people to assume you're up to no good.

6. Rejection

I may not be approached at a club or a bar, and I may feel a little sad about it, but next weekend, I'm back in the game not really thinking about it too much. I approach or am approached and usually the experience is a pleasant one or I have more of an ability to do the choosing, and subsequent rejection. As a man, if you are really keen on ending up with someone, you may have to make approach after approach and try flirtations with several women before, if you're lucky, one or more says yes to hanging out/dancing/sex/whatever. That could be 2, 5, 10 rejections all in a few hours. Then after all that rejection, if you are not lucky, people tell you stuff like keep your chin up, fish in the sea, you're a special spirit that someone will love. You then have to take all that rejection and pretend it didn't happen, or that it doesn't hurt you or your ego. More suppression of feeling because apparently guys aren't supposed to mope or get their feelings hurt, but that sucks, I can only assume, a lot.

7. Your life seems to be less valuable

If people were asked to rank who would they save in what order in a fire where there was a woman, a child, a dog, and a man, 99% of people would be lying if they said they'd think to save the man first unless he could be used to help save all the rest. If a man dies saving all the women and children, he is a hero...if he saves himself, he is a total coward and should be ashamed of himself for daring to think of himself or even his own family before anyone elses. People get all pissy when you mention privileges in life because people like to stupidly believe that who they are doesn't give them anything, but people need to get a grip on reality, because being a woman, THIS IS a privilege that has been afforded to us simply by virtue of being a woman.

8. The lack of overall support

Men are expected to figure it all out. They are seen by many as weak for ever needing help, or assistance, or therapy, or money, you name it, the list goes on. When I ask for help or need help, a) there are a lot more people willing to give it to me as a woman, and yes, I'm sure that has something to do with us being viewed already as the weaker sex to begin with, but nonetheless more people want to help me b)my femininity isn't questioned if I can't say change the oil in my car or figure out the tax code.

9. You can't be incompetent in the bedroom

You have to know what you're doing even before you've ever had sex. Somehow you are just supposed to know and be able to take control. If what's between your legs is small, you're not "a real man," if anything...and I do mean anything goes wrong on the bedroom, it tends to be viewed as your fault and if you happen to be dating one of those cold nasty heartless women who tells everyone about what you two did or didn't do, she can put your manhood on trial for all to see and hear and judge even in physically there was or is nothing you could do about what did/n't happen in the bedroom.

10. You have to be strong

What is a man? He has to be strong. He has to be able to defend and fight and stand up to people all on his own no matter how much bigger or stronger the attacker is and if you can't, everyone will let you know how much of a man you aren't. Again with the pressure, and the expectations and parameters of what a man is supposed to be all the time. I'm not expected to defend myself against some 7ft amazon woman or to fight of 3 people on my own. If I actually said that to someone, they would have sympathy for me, rather than condemnation that I couldn't do it.


Most Helpful Guy

  • On point 6 - or you just don't try at all. If a guy is shy or is some way flawed, he is essentially told he is not good enough and has to be "better". Women, on the other hand, they can have their flaws, even vent to their boyfriends and the boyfriend is expected to hear them out and be supportive, but if a guy is flawed, insecure, needs support, he is "needy", "clingy", "emotionally immature", and "too sensitive". It makes him "feminine" as if being "feminine" is somehow considered weak and inferior to "masculine". As if a man is defective for having flaws or even thinking about showing them.

    I understand though, that a man should not wallow in his shortcomings and expect pity. That is a victim mentality and that is unattractive in both sexes. But it does seem that women are given far more room to make mistakes and to grow from them, actually praised for their struggles, while men are just expected to "get it", as if just being a man is a competition with the rest of the world.

    So a guy is shy and not 100% confident that he will say and do the right things and meet the vast majority of women's expectations, not even accounting for the compatibility of personality, and he is discounted by the vast majority of potential mates just because he didn't get everything right. No fucks are given and it very rare for a man to have other safe males to support him in this because once again, it is a competition.

    What is sad is that we as humans attach a person's worth to how they behave. He IS a creep, rather than he acted like a creep. He IS awkward, rather than he acted awkwardly. The way a person acts can change and sometimes it is a reflection of the world around him. I am not saying people should pity men, or men in this situation, but I do feel that if we as human beings can show understanding and love, then you would be surprised how much this kind of men would reflect that back.

    I can call people out for their behavior but not permanently judge them on it. The attraction I know is not a choice. It is unfortunate though that men who struggle with creating connections are prejudged or are not given the proper respect as humans that would give them the foundation to spring forth from a place of uncertainty and doubt.

    • The supposed Alpha male who is assertive, conventionally handsome, relatively to really well off, and/or seems to ooze confidence does well in the dating game as does the Alpha female, but I agree that if you aren't on that spectrum, it can be extremely hard to even get a 1/10 of the attraction they do for just being yourself.

      I agree with your point that, at least for me, this is not about pity for either sex. If you're a leech on society, you make the choice not to work for non medical reasons, you don't care, or you have a poor attitude, you can't place blame or expect pity for not being able to function or be seen as a functioning wo/man on anyone else, but if your mom dies for example and you take it hard and you do need help---that crushing level of "just suck it up" that is doled out all the time can and does break men. If you can't figure something out, why should there be shame attached to asking for help? There shouldn't.

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    • @Charleslvajr my friend just recently admitted that his basketball group is 100% not about basketball. They go and "play" but it's really just a monthly session where they just talk about life, but of course it has to be disguised as guys doing something 'manly,' because you can't pencil it in the books as "guys therapy session."

    • That is why men need "safe" males to open up to. I know the "friend" group that I had in high school or early 20s would have scoffed at the idea of opening up about having trouble with women as if it was a hit to your manhood and made you less of a man in their eyes. Needless to say, I am not longer friends with the vast majority of those guys.

      Men also have insecurities as women do, about their body, about their career, about where they are in their lives. I find it interesting that men are held to such a high standard but women aren't, at least in terms of what they have to offer besides their attractiveness level. I mean if romance is truly about loving someone flaws and all, then I think men have a better grasp on this in most cases. I know for me, I tend to overlook many aspects in a woman if we have chemistry and are compatible. I am realistic in that I know she is going to have some skeletons, flaws, baggage, whatever. No one is perfect.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow. Well said girl. Applause for you like fr. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏


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What Guys Said 40

  • You obviously have thought about this a lot, which, as you can see from male responses, is very refreshing, and earns deep and heartfelt appreciation.

    Have you read "Self Made Man" by Norah Vincent?

    • I've not read it, but I'll have to look it up.

  • 1. Agreed, but their is more then that, we are also shamed for our sex life, or lack their of it. If we haven't had sex we are pathetic, not only in the eyes of men but women, women don't date men who are virgins in general, they are seen as defective or broken, like something is wrong with them. Are sexuality is also judged more then women's. Just look at the terms, player, fuckboy, womanizer. All of those have very negative connotations, and they have nothing to do with just being promiscuous, unlike slut which is purely of a sexual nature, the terms for men hold a underlining sinister almost sound to it. As if they exploit and hurt women like they are con men taking advantage of women rather then a guy who, as women say about the term slut, "just like sex". Now to be fair their is ample evidence suggesting sleeping around is bad for you, but that's a far cry different then having one's sex life being viewed as intrinsically harmful or even violent which is how we view male sexuality. Ironic considering that according to the CDC women rape men at comparable rates. Otherwise yes I agree.

    2. Yes and no. First and foremost men are physiologically less capable of showing emotions like women do. We have fewer hormones and glands so we actually are not physically able to cry like women do, we also are less sensitive to negative emotions in general so it takes more for us to actually respond to said negative emotional stimuli comparative to women. We also cope with emotions differently then women, women are social and people oriented men are thing and activity oriented so our coping mechanisms are more physical and thing oriented then women, its just biology. However their is a social component as well, however its important to note why. The fact is men are the protectors, whether any one wants to admit this or not we are built for it and we are driven to it while women are not built for it and are driven away from it. So imagine a police officer facing down a potentially violent criminal while crying because of the stress, how safe are you going to feel? How safe are you going to be? If things are hard and your father starts balling because of the stress how is that going to impact his children? He is the bread winner and the protector, does that bring a sense of security or sense of unease? So its necessary that men be stoic to fulfill their function (and we gravitate to it instinctively anyway).

    • Now that doesn't mean that it can't be taken to far by society, it can and does happen, but by and large their is a reason for it, its just important that we realize the why and give a little leeway when we can. As for not being able to have an outlet, that is very true, but originally it was women who where the outlet. That's why women being nurturing and kind was so important, it gave a man an outlet for his emotions but now we live in a society that discourages women from this and encourages them to be more masculine (get a job, be competitive etc) and that makes it hard for men because every man is competing against every other man so when a woman takes on these masculine traits, it just makes a man less comfortable with expressing weakness as she can come off more like competition. As for the drugs, yeah men are more likely to turn to that but I think that's because men are not allowed to be helped, that if a man needs help then he cannot be that protector so society as a whole

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    • I'm not saying its a great situation, its not, but it is necessary. This disposability is what drives society, it protects it and it also makes men push forward and be ambitious because every man needs to show society and/or his mate that he has value and so he will create and build and protect and provide with everything he's got to prove that he mattered. Its hard, its painful, its can shorten his life span, but it also is in its way deeply satisfying, its what made society, its what kept us alive and its a necessary part of civilization and society. I think its important to see this, realize the destructive aspects as well as the benefits, if we stopped men from doing this nothing would get done. Think of it this way, if a man and a woman like each other, who takes the risk to initiate the relationship and risks rejection and emotional pain? Its the man, if the man acted like the woman they both would simply watch each other from across the room and never create that connection.

    • It sucks, but it is necessary. I'm glad you have noticed these things, they should be noted they should be a source of empathy, but they also should be understood and respected as well. Over all good take, I appreciate it (and sorry for writing so much).

  • EXACTLY!!!
    I don't blame you at all. These hardships are extremely destructive! I'm glad you wrote all of this!
    And these are just some disadvantages of being a man. There is also the biased marriage/divorce losses risks involved for men. And it seems to me, that we are not as desired as women to us are.
    I guess I could say, that there are quite some or even many women, who won't survive a week living in a mans body.
    Sometimes I just wish I was born a woman.

    Thank you kind lady! Enjoy being a woman.

    • It's advantages and disadvantages for both genders. It's true there's disadvantages being a man, but it's also some advantages like being able to stand up peeing, no child birth and no periods for example.

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    • Because overall, it matters not if one of these things on the list is hurting you or a woman is hurting for her own reasons, one is all it can take. I wrote this, but reading the comments especially has given me even more insight from men themselves on how they feel, and I'd hope perhaps reading how much men want to be heard, you may in future actually open up a dialogue with women in your life and just listen to their perspective as well. You may be surprised. Just my two cents.

    • Sounds reasonable. I didn't mean to say "men have it harder than women" as in general like i think women don't have it hard. I meant to say, that these issues are really serious and while there are support groups for either gender it is in lesser availability for men (seemingly), thus giving men a really hard time... In these regards.

  • There's a lot of truth in this Take. The guys who can just ignore the crap, laugh it off, or don't let it faze them won't have an issue. Other guys let all this eat them up, especially younger guys. If you're still in high school, and some bully is giving you some shit, there's very little support. You're expected to 'be a man', 'settle it after school', etc. It doesn't matter if the bully is twice your size and could pound you into an oil spot, you're expected to face-off with him.

    I remember issues with clothing in school. If I wasn't wearing straight black socks, I'd be ridiculed as a 'fairy boy'. Even black socks with two thin colored stripes across the top wasn't acceptable. If I were wearing a belt and the buckle was too shiny or decorative, I'd get ridiculed as a 'cowboy'.

    In high school I had insecurity and social backwardness that I resolved later in life. At that time, I didn't even talk to girls, because I really didn't know what to say to them, and I was simply afraid of them. Because I wasn't chasing after girls, I was ALSO labeled as a 'faggot' and a 'fairy boy'.

    It's just a matter of growing up, learning, and not letting things faze you.

  • Thank you for being one of the coolest women ever, I wish more women are like you

  • Very empathetic but I don't really find most of them to be issues I face as a man.

    Pressure, rejection, forcing to learn by yourself, these are all avenues and opportunities for growth but also, a route for self-destruction. These issues do bombard men over and over, however some men find them useful, others not so.

    Good take

  • I really like the list numerous authors have put together. This one is probably the most accurate from my point if view:


  • You are very intuitive to have tapped into what nearly all males have or will have experienced at some point in their lives (the younger ones who don't know what you're saying still have time before them find out personally). Based on your understanding and empathy, I assume you would be a great girlfriend to marry.

    You say you're going out regularly to be approached, have you not found a guy who is the right match for you? If not, what kind of "man" are you looking for?

  • I personally don't mind most of these, because I feel comfortable following the general gender roles. But that's just because I'm already the kind of person who would rather go out with a friend just to mess around and laugh when I'm feeling sad instead of having a meaningless talk about my emotions which won't lead to anything anyway. I also prefer to solve whatever is bothering my productively instead of just complaining about it to a friend. To me, that's just useless.
    Now, that being said, I know that many people do not think like that, and many men and women find comfort in talking about how they feel, even if it doesn't lead to anything practical. I have some male friends who are more emotional than me, and I would never refuse to talk to them if they need to express how they feel, the same way I would never refuse to talk to one of my female friends if she needs to. But I would probably still try to make the conversation more about how we could solve the problem rather than just explaining how he feels.

  • You have men who thrive off all of that though, life would be fucking boring without a target to chase. Half of those things are self inflicted anyway... clothing? Good looking guys dress well. Rejection? Who cares when you’re playing the field.

    Basically to the man who gives zero fucks about what other people think, life is good.

  • Dude here. Even though I hate that word. I wouldn’t want to be dude either. It sucks.
    I’m reading it and I’m enjoying myself, and then point 4. Finally, someone said it. Right? God damn, I’ve thought about that many times, but I always feel like I’m alone thinking about that.
    Heh. Creeper. Those, who plays Minecraft are having little bit different meaning of the word. Single protocol: you see it, you kill it, over distance.
    Ah, point 6. That’s for me. I don’t even do anything listed there. No point. No reason. I am apparently unlovable, unlikable and so on. Whatever. I’ve moved on long time ago. I will be forever alone, because I’m not hot enough or I don’t have the social skill. Because I’m don’t do those little social dances. No, thank you, I’m extremely bad at it, my brain is wired differently…and I guess that’s why I will left alone.
    7: Yeah, our society is superficial.
    I like this, I only wish similar ideas will spread more.

  • Number 7... I remember when I was sent out into the night to run an errand because I had a lesser chance of being murdered or raped compared to my sister. I also remember how my mom justified the mandatory conscription of men in our country by saying that women had the ability to produce life, something that a man couldn't do. I have never felt more useless. Our lives have equal value.

    • They can produce life, but not without our help... at least for now.

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    • It's good to see that there are people who view us as actual human beings instead of killing machines in times of war... thank you.

    • I think there are a lot of people, women and men alike who don't love war and don't want anyone to die. Some places though, war is a fact of life with some quite literally being born into war torn countries where you fight or die or are forced to escape. My family chose to flee and I am thankful for it because I've known peace in my life and am intent on having more of it. Canada is a good option, and I hope that you get your citizenship. Good luck to you.

  • Thanks. Just thanks.

    • In most aspects of life, men get treated like they couldn't handle themselves and others had to "help" them.

  • Meh I don't really agree with much of this. Being a man is awesome. I get to do what I want, I don't have bouts of ridiculous anxiety or hormonal issues and people take me seriously because I have a level head.

    At a baseline level I can run faster, jump higher, lift more and work harder in general without being fatigued. Also a lot of things that seem to bother women don't bother me.

    I feel like all of these posts do is segregate the sexes and create further friction and barriers between males and females. I don't think most men ever want to be a female longer than 24 hours, where apart from experiencing orgasms and sex from their perspective. We would all change happily straight back to being a men the next day.

    • It is easier being a man, all you have to do is not fuck up or be stupid and you'll be fine mostly. Being a woman is very hard, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I get to look and smell pretty, yaay.

    • @azzntittiz This is seriously not true at all. It's not easy being a man at all. Just because I like being one doesn't mean that I think it is easier to be a man a woman.

      The same thing you said applies for women too. All they have to do is not fuck up at all. You didn't give any examples as to how it's easier for men or harder for women. Both of us have to work hard at work and in the family. Men aren't given as much leniency when showing their emotions. Women are given a lot of paid parental leave, but they also have menstruation cycles and men are constantly ridiculed and disregarded when it comes to them reporting abuse etc. Both sexes have it hard in different ways. Living as either sex is not easy at all and none is more easier than the other.

    • It's interesting how women are the ones who chose to agree with me here, instead of men. I guess we got some weird men here haha.

  • I am nearly 20 years old and I have to say that I've never felt like a man ever. My dad left when I was very young and when he did visit ocationally I would feel intimidated around him and would often flinch when he go angry.

    I was also extremely shy and awkward and just asocial overall and for these reasons I would receive nothing but contempt from my peers growing up. I was never one of the guys because I just could'nt relate to them. At the same time, however I was never one of the girls as they found me creepy and weird. I have yet to even kiss a girl or have any kind of meaningful contact with the opposite sex. All I am really saying here is thank you for understanding the hardships that a guy must endure.

  • This is certainly what it was like growing up, I can't say for certain now because society has to an extent, split. But I can definitely relate to this growing up! Now however, working on a help desk, living on my own in an apartment, and my relatives are scattered across the states. I really don't socialize much so I don't know what it's like for other guys.

    I will say that when it comes to family gathering, most of my relatives are women. So when I come in and see my 7 year old nephew and 4 year old niece. Everyone is grinning and laughing when I let those two tackle me with hugs, sometimes I even fall over (on purpose) and everyone laughs at how silly it all is.

  • This person is possibly the first to ever point out all these and I am so thankful to you, you are a great person and I do sadly do a lot of these things, especially the emotion one as people say you're being a baby if you show emotions so thank you, Happy Christmas too :)

  • You get it. I won't say that girls don't also get the short stick, but I always feel disappointed when someone I'm talking to doesn't understand this.

    • It is hard to see past ones own nose sometimes to see that other people have their own set of issues as well. I can't expect a guy to care about my own as a woman if I'm completely dismissive of what he goes through as well.

  • I nominate this for TAKE OF THE YEAR!!!

    • Great. It's less than 3 weeks until new year.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Hmmm I agree with all of these here. And all of the reasons above are why FEMINISM is important. It’s not about women > men. It’s admitting the current system is hurting both men and women - it’s super restrictive to both parties.
    Thanks to feminism, women have access to higher paying jobs and can vote. So the responsibility to provide isn’t solely on one person anymore.
    Thanks to feminism, sexual assault and harassment is finally being taken seriously for both genders. I’ve seen nothing but support for male and female victims. So you don’t have to hide anymore.
    The old gender roles are thrown out because it is very unfair and restrictive of men while suppressing women and their choices. Allowing men to express emotions is good; this also expands the idea of what type of manhood is acceptable. Now, you should be considered manly no matter whether you are weak or strong, feminine or masculine, rich or poor.
    Men have it hard. And it’s our job to make sure things get better

    • Way to make a thread about men fuel your cancerous agenda.

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    • @hellionthesagereborn Typical, thanks for the info. Pretty interesting, albeit infuriating.

    • @Kkaos As most things related to feminism is sadly.

  • you dont see being patronized as a pressure and obstacle, you see tot think of it a a gift.

    ok but al;l this stuff you talk about men suffering through comes from men belittling women. a man can only be a 'man' bc he's not lowering himself to being -his view- of a woman.

    every thing you listed that man is pressured for is another attack on women... its all to prove he's not the worst thing he could be.

    and if women are incompetent well then men pick up the slack, if women are not incompetent me can't feel like men the extra pressure to be a man is on the bassi of keeping women down, trying to anyhow.

    people who relate to this likely have very sexist views of women and men both.

    women are pressured to be pleasing to men. men are pressured to make sure the are not women.

  • I probably can't pitch in on this one, but I feel like I should say this. I tend to put a lot of the pressure on myself, specifically number 2 and 3, not because society tells me to, but I feel like I could be better. For some reason I have this voice in the back of my head that tells me to suck it up instead of giving in, because I don't want to appear weak to myself or others. I can't understand what it must be like to experience the others though. I've noticed this double standard specifically in the LGBT+ community (which I am thankfully no longer associating myself with) where SJW's claim to be for equality, yet they patronize any opposing opinions. It's almost like a cult. I cannot empathize with men, but I can sympathize. I am truly sorry for our twisted, sexist society.

  • I don't have a well thought out opinion on this, so really I shouldn't comment but it's the internet so who cares. All I can say is that I think it's bull crap, you shouldn't be so pressured for being a man and nor should anyone else.
    I can't change society or anything like that. But, well here you have my opinion

  • that"s sad :(

  • Lol it sucks to be one if they are darn clueless

  • lol...

  • Boohoo be happy you're a girl and shut up

  • You don't have to be strong to be a man.

  • There is s lot of burden on men buy women have it hella hard too. Men don't have painful periods every month like women do. Men can have sex with hundreds of women and drill be labeled as a good guy, a woman does it and she's a whore. Men often get paid more at jobs, when women are usually paid less. Women are more likely to get an STD from a man rather than a man getting it from a woman. Woman have to compete amongst themselves on how pretty we are. Women are often fucked in relationships when they have kids, its rare a man will take her in. Men don't have to experience childbirth, the most painful experience in the world.

    • First paragraph: "It's hard being a woman, and I won't discount what a lot of us go through as being less hard, but rather just different." You cannot fault man for you having a period, or being pregnant or having to go through childbirth (if the pregnancy was the result of consensual sex). Those are all extremely difficult and no one needs that explained, but they didn't cause those things to happen to women and not all women go through pregnancy or get STDs from sex. But this is NOT a competition to see who struggles more, but what it is, is an effort to listen and understand the other side. We aren't the only ones with problems, and like I said, we both have them, but the struggles are just different.

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    • gap wage is bullshit in western societies when it comes to the same job/position. In general men earn more because they work more hours, take less time off (especially for maternal stuff and less work lie balance), and they take riskier jobs (police, firefighting, construction, manufacturing). But for college graduates in big cities for the same exact position, nope.

    • Men are totally fucked in courts.
      -Guess who gets child custody most of the time? Not men.
      -Guess who gets significantly more jail time for the same crime? Men.

      Women could get away with so much shit, its not even funny.

      -If a man's wife cheats on him with another dude and has a kid with that guy and she leaves him.. guess who has to pay child support for that?

      By no means is a woman's life easy, but in the western world, women are more privileged then men.