4 Things Straight Guys Are Missing Out On

4 Things Straight Guys Are Missing Out On

Being a bisexual dude, I have a different angle for analyzing relationships than most people. The other day, I was having a conversation about the differences between guy-girl and guy-guy romances with a straight friend of mine. Many of the topics below came up.

Please understand that this is in no way an attack on heterosexuality; I understand that there are many benefits to being in a partnership with the opposite gender! Also, this list will certainly not apply to all people or all relationships. This is simply an enumeration of things to consider.

In no particular order,

1. More equal relationships

In heterosexual relationships, there are many gender based societal norms that affect the way people act. The man is supposed to pay for dates. If you move in together, the care of the home falls on the woman. Many people recognize that these expectations are harmful, but, in practice, they still come into play often. A same sex romance, by contrast, is freed from this. When I'm on a date with a guy, we either simply split the check 50/50 or the person who gave the invitation pays. And if I were to move in with a guy in the future, we would have to specifically make the decisions regarding who does what chores.

2. Greater sexual compatibility

Many studies have repeatedly shown that when guys want sex most is when they're stressed. Women, by contrast, want it least when they are in stressful situations. This leads to many inevitable conflicts when you and your partner are already having a bad day. Date a guy instead, and sexual activity will serve to make you both feel better!

Additionally, when it comes time to get frisky, a man understands what turns men on far better than the ladies. We have the same parts and know what makes them run well.

3. Better help with guy issues

Need to tie a tie? Good luck with your girlfriend's assistance on that one! How about emotional support? Guys can understand other guys at a level that is simply impossible for girls due to inevitable differences in life experiences.

4. More time together

Yes, you can work out with your girl, but it's going to be awkward when you both realize there's a reason testosterone is a performance enhancing drug. And afterwards, when you need to change and shower, you have to go into separate locker rooms. Wouldn't it be more fun to do that as a couple?

What do you think of these benefits of being in a relationship with another guy? Do you disagree with any of them? Is there any you would like to add? Please share your thoughts below!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I disagree with this. I think it depends on the guy on how he’s going to act. My husband is 100% straight, but having been raised with sisters (one being his twin) and his best friend being gay, he is more sensitive to women’s needs than most men. Has nothing to do with his sexuality, but how he was raised and the company he keeps.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • As a straight guy I can't say anything about what you said really makes me wish it differently. I mean I actually like the differences in men and women in a relationship and wouldn't want to change that. The difference in roles and how they play off each other is something that attracts me to a relationship with women. So the more equal relationship thing doesn't really do much for me and in all honesty probably makes it less enjoyable for me.

    The great sexual compatability sounds nice and it would be great, if it was a woman. I'm not attracted to men. So I don't care if man understands how a man is turned on better of want sex at more the same time. I don't want to have sex with a man so it's lost on me.

    As for better help with guy issues and more time together, I see this as why to have guy friends. I don't need to be dating a guy to have them help me with stuff or to hang out with. I get your point. But I mean I don't think it is fully lost on straight guys. But as for the change room and shower at the gym, I don't care who I'm with I don't want to be in there any longer then I need to be. The men in there make me uncomfortable as fuck. I would never use the sauna because from all I can tell it is just for men to hook up with each other at the gym and it's like an unspoken rule of the gym that you don't go into the sauna unless you are into men. As for working out with women, I personally think that is the best. Working our with a woman you are in a relationship with and then having great sex afterwards.

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    • These are all fair points. Thanks for reading and giving your opinion!

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What Girls Said 38

  • What information do you base this off of? Way to stereotype both women and men. Women don't provide emotional support to men? What kind of bullshit is this. You cannot "advertise" dating a gender or sex you're not attracted to, and this is what you are doing. You are also completely sexist saying women can't tie ties or do guy stuff. Take your bullshit views elsewhere...

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    • That's not at all what I'm saying. I'm simply outlining how being in a gay relationship isn't all bad. There are many, many other benefits to being in a relationship with a woman. And yes, I did stereotype a little bit, hence the disclaimer at the top:

      'this list will certainly not apply to all people or all relationships. This is simply an enumeration of things to consider.'

      I never said women couldn't do those things; it's simply less likely.

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    • @Binnie You cannot argue that gay people shouldn't exist, acknowledge that they do exist, and then claim that the being you believe to have created the world did a perfect job. It's just plain illogical. Non sequitur. Does not follow.

    • First of all if you are a christian Binnie then respect people's choices because that's what God would've done. You should still love and respect people even if you don't agree with their choices. Remember that when God put us on this Earth he gave us a choice to either have a relationship with him or not. So leave people let them choose and let God be the judge not you.

  • The worst mytake I've ever read on here. They're not missing out. They don't want you. End of story.

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    • Do you have to make this personal? All I'm saying is that being in a same sex relationship isn't all bad... there are some positive aspects to it. There are also many positive aspects to being in a straight relationship instead.

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    • What I'm saying is that it would be problematic and politically incorrect to say that gay guys should stop being gay and date women. So you suggesting straight guys to date men is just as pathetic. It's 2018 and we're still telling people who to date🙄 That's my opinion.

    • I’m not telling anyone who to date. I’m just pointing out that some same sex relationships aren’t all bad. I would discourage anyone who isn’t attracted to someone from dating them.

  • all the 'negatives' of being straight is why men and women are attracted to each other, they compliment each other. Also, they're not 'missing out' because they're not attracted to men in that sense. To me, the thought of being with another woman is kind of gross, i understand other girls are into it but I'm not, so I don't feel like I'm missing on anything... same happens with straight guys.

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    • 100% agree. Well said. We are each other's counter part. We complement each other. We complete the missing parts for the other. To me, a woman is the most wonderful blessing in this life for a man.

  • Another "bro" trying to fuck his straight friends 🙄 well all you guys who want to know what it's like being a woman, there's your chance 😆

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  • Lol at all the hate you got just for making a simple take.

    Just gets to show how homophobic the world still is.

    Good that you had the couradge to write it

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What Guys Said 105

  • I highly disagree. As a straight guy with more than a couple gay/lesbian/trans friends (I hate myself a little for saying that) I’ve come to believe there really isn’t much difference relationship wise.
    1. This isn’t a benefit of homosexual relationships because of the nature of the relationship. It’s only a benefit because of our toxic society. That’s like saying red shoes are easier to keep clean then black shoes when you live on mars. It’s a property of the environment the relationships exists in more than it is a property of the relationship itself.
    2. Is it really greater if you’re not sexually interested in your partner? Is consistent perfectly timed sex with an undesirable partner better than inconsistent sex with one you desire greatly? A man may understand what turns a man on but that doesn’t mean he can actually offer it. Simply put this point requires you to be bisexual for it to matter at all.
    3. True. Guys experience some things that girls don’t but most of our emotional issues come from the act of living or the act of living as a human. Not really our gender specific needs. The extra little bit of help on gender specific problems may not overshadow the benefits of hearing the opposite genders perspective on a species specific problem which are far more common.
    4. This just isn’t an actual point. 1. I can work out with my girl then shower with her at home. 2. Why would I want to spend every single waking moment attached at the hip to another person. Time alone isn’t a bad thing. I want to be able to hang with my friends without my SO sometimes because relationships are hard and sometimes you get mad at each other or bored of each other or simply exhausted by each other. And that’s normal. Why cut away the easiest way of getting a breather from your partner.

    And this last point isn’t a direct rebuttal but honestly is the only rebuttal that matters. What if I just don’t find my gender attractive?

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    • Thanks for your opinions. You make a lot of fair points. Of course, if you aren't attracted to guys, yes you shouldn't date them! I agree 100% on your last point.

  • It's not all about sex, though. Relationships are important too. So are there women out there who don't mind dating guys who've had sex with men? Well the truth is there are both: some are put off by it and some don't think it's an issue. I am Hetrosexual but I support LGBTQAI+ Community.

    Thanks for sharing your Take with GirlsAskGuys Community.

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    • That's a very, very good point. I feel you can be emotionally attracted to someone without sexual attraction (of course, that's coming from my biased bisexual self). Thank you for the support!

    • You're Most Welcome.😊👍

  • read all of that and im not missing out on anything.

    1. there is no more 'equal" relationships. relationships involve shared duties as well as different duties.
    just because i do something for a girl she doesn't do for me doesn't mean that the relationship isn't equal. she also does things for me that i dont do for her.
    i know girls who would cook for me almost every day of the week. i doubt any dude would do that. and if he did he probably would expect sex in return. well, a woman might too, but the difference is , i LIKE giving it to her.

    also, gay sex is the most unequal sex of all.
    one has to be the top and the other the bottom ( copied from straight sex of course).
    so one man copies the man in regular sex while the other copies the woman. so one guy is normal while the other is degrading himself. men aren't meant to be f*cked and as such it has negative consequences.

    with straight sex, both get equal pleasure and fulfillment of their bodies, without anyone being turned into something they are not.

    2. no matter how similar a man is to another man, a woman will ALWAYS be a thousand times more sexually compatible for a man.
    why? because we find girls hot and guys gross.

    3. Better help with guy issues? lol, thats what i have my bros for. and unlike gays, they dont want to have sex with me.

    4. i think its safe to say that in a relationship you probably spend most of the time together anyway.
    i dont think any cherry on top is needed.
    and as for working out, id much rather work out with the bros, where we can be competitive and have fun instead of working out with the person you like.

    so, im not missing out on anything at all.
    there is nothing a gay guy can give me that a woman cannot.
    and my male friends as as close to me as a men can be to each other, without any romantic interest at all.

    i think gay/bi guys are missing out

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    • Thanks for sharing your opinion. Do you mind if I comment on some of your points?

      1. I'm not saying anything you do for your girlfriend is bad or vice versa. Just that there's more likely to be pressure to conform to societal expectations about gender.

      On the subject of gay sex being unequal, I'm not sure I understand your point. In straight sex, the guy is always the 'top' and the woman is always the 'bottom'. There's no choice. Furthermore, there's no requirement you need to have anal sex at all to be in a same-sex relationship.

      2. That's fair enough. I'm not advocating for anyone to date anyone they don't find attractive.
      3. That's cool, but I don't think anybody will dispute the notion most people are emotionally closer to their husband/wife than their best friend.
      4. Fair enough ;)

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    • he does say that not all gay couples have a top-bottom thing or even do anal sex, but many do, and for those who do, one guy tends to be more often the top and the other the bottom.
      in his case, he was exclusively being the top and the other guy the bottom.

      so they have done this for like 10+ years or so, so his points do hold some water. he basically concluded that anal being performed upon a man, wether pleasurable or not, harms his self esteem, self worth , confidence and even masculinity as a whole.
      he said that maybe , his partner may not have known himself but he definitely saw him change in the way he behaved over time. and it wasn't just some aging thing, it was definitely a negative change.
      basically they had to stop due to some physical issues, and at some point he figured out his partners problems came from being subjected to anal. they since stopped doing that and he said things were getting better.
      he basically advocates against anal sex altogether, alltough i dont think

    • he will get a lot of support for it.
      also, personally i dont see how top bottom dynamics in oral would be that much different.
      maybe the physical experience of penetration plays a factor.

      i dont remember the article, but he used phrases like "if you got a hammer, everything looks like a nail to you" regarding gay sex being copied from straight sex.
      his whole blog kinda made me reconsider the idea of anal with a girl, which is why i have never pushed that irl.

      anyway thats that. as for women always being the bottom, thats not degrading her, womens bodies, are built to "bottom" thats why they have a vagina, and thats why men have penises. thats how sex is supposed to happen the correct way for procreation to occur.
      so women enjoy being penetrated and men enjoy penetrating.

      the existence of the anus is to expel waste, not be penetrated.

      and for point 3, most probably (and hopefully) people are closer to their so, s but my guy friends are more than close enough for any help

  • It's like saying if you are repulsed by the taste and smell of onions, there are a lot of very good cuisines you are missing out on. I guess it's an issue of perspective - if you spend your whole life content with sitting on a chair, for example, how would you know you haven't been locked in the room like a prisoner? You can't unless you get the urge to leave the room, but to assume someone should have such an urge is projecting your interests onto them. And while it's true that you could be right, and if you drag them outside to play they'll determine that they really like it outside, but the point is you do not have the right to make that decision for them or (more importantly) to act under the assumption that they have made what you consider the right decision.

    Anyway, that line of thought went a bit left-field... but you must be aware that a straight guy could list things gay guys are missing out on, right? Like the thrill of affecting a person who has no idea what it's like to have a cock. The fascination girls have when a dick is in their mouth, like they're meeting a myth they've only heard about but didn't fully believe existed. Plus the smell of a girl. Even anal with a girl yields a feminine scent that anal with a guy does not produce. Sex with a girl satisfies the urge to dominate a different reality. Sex with a guy is just dominating the same reality you already live in. It has its merits, I guess, but it's not for everyone..

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    • Fair points. I absolutely agree that a straight guy could list things gay guys are missing out on... in fact, I may publish a MyTake on that subject in the future! Those are all positive aspects I may mention.

  • Okay, this is a weird one and nobody is going to believe it, but I can get sworn testimony. Years ago - my girlfriend and I have been living together for just over ten years - my girlfriend went through this thing where she thought watching gay sex was kind of hot. I count myself straight, but I kind of played along and we would watch some gay porn or something.

    Then at a Christmas party, a gay co-worker of her's happened to mention that he thought I was kind of cute. girlfriend got an idea and asked if co-worker and I would have sex so she could watch. He loved the idea, but only if sometimes he could just have sex with me without girlfriend watching.

    They thought it was a brilliant idea and came to me. I was not exactly enthralled at first, but after several weeks, and I mean weeks, of back and forth and nagging and pleading and girlfriend offering me all sorts of sex, I agreed, and for the next seven months - !!! - I was in a gay relationship (at the same time still having sex with my girlfriend.)

    To my surprise, it took getting used to but I actually started to enjoy it. I was both top and bottom - and even liked being the bottom. We actually got sort of intimate, especially one week when my girlfriend went out of town on business and her co-worker stayed with me. It wasn't like we had sex every day or anything - we both had to work, we had other things going on - but we did spend time together. We got along great and the sex was actually pretty good - both when we had it in front of my girlfriend (which actually really turned me on) and when it was just the two of us. Weirder still, I actually liked cuddling with him and talking.

    It was weird on one level, unpleasant on another, and good on another. I was all over the board.

    It actually ended on a somewhat sour note. It became fairly obvious that the guy was getting pretty involved with me and we decided to end it. He took it pretty hard and it got a bit uncomfortable. My girlfriend felt especially bad and tried to set him up with another guy, but nothing really worked. Eventually he got another job and we lost touch.

    During this and for a bit after I sort of had a nagging sense that maybe I was bi. That has passed with time. I think, in retrospect, it was more the novelty than the sex - and I definitely told my girlfriend never again. (Easier to do now that we have 3 kids.)

    Still, it was interesting to get to know another guy at that level of intimacy. It wasn't the sex, but the friendship.

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