Hello darkness my old friend. I've come to talk with you again...

[legalboxers]

Its a cold dark place. Maybe warm and sunny outside. Inside. Its cold. Its dark. Its lonely. You have your good days, and you have your bad days. But you make sure it never will ever get to that day.

This pain is different for me. This breakup brought me to a place which I never wanted to go into or delve into. a time when I was small we always shopped in this part of town in New Jersey. And I can close my eyes and remember the stores, like I do over here. Its been probably two weeks. And this one, I can not shake off that easily. I thought 2020 would be good to me. But its not.

It starts here.

I remember this when I was a small kid. There is an area where you turn to get back onto a bridge to head back to my place in New York. As I passed this area, this song kept on playing on repeat in my head. Not to mention the area is full of Dominican people..

Then you got this. Dont ask me why, I remember as a small child when I was home from Pre-K and K this on as my Mom was making me lunch. It was a simpler time..

Now this. This is what is like my Achilles's Heel. No words needed to cut me. Play this. This is what gets me every time...

and last... You got this...

Every ex who I knew comes back to my mind in one shape or another.

you keep hoping...thinking..praying..one who actually did love you would be there. You gave 110%, did you could possibly do giving the circumstances. And be left with nothing. Hoping they would come back to you, knowing its 2020, knowing you dont know when your last day will be on this planet with this Covid...

And would you call oldfriends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

[CuteNerd9]

The pain of a broken heart is unmatched by much else. They say time heals all wounds, but time crawls slowly, feeling as if it will never end, when your heart is in so much pain. I've been where you are, and I know that it feels like it will never get better. That every day feels like you're sinking lower and lower. At some point you just stop struggling to find the surface, succumbing to the weight of it all, and you let it drag you onto the darkness. Then one day you'll notice your not sinking as fast. Maybe you even find a little strength to fight again, and eventually you'll find your way to the surface again.

If you want to talk to someone who knows what you're going through, please feel free to PM me.

[legalboxers]

@cutenerd9 ty

[OlderAndWiser]

I'm sorry that you are having a hard time with this break up. I have also had a breakup this past year that was difficult in other ways. No one knows your pain and anyone who tells you to simply forget about her is a fool. Brighter days certainly do lie ahead for you, but I understand that tomorrow's sunshine does not overcome today's darkness.

PM me if you need to talk one-on-one privately.

[legalboxers]

@OlderAndWiser thank you..

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[legalboxers]

@OlderAndWiser check your inbox for the rest of the conversation

[Enochian]

I know the feeling. Ever since I went through a bad break up I've never been the same. Most days I'm always angry. When I'm not that, I'm just faking a smile pretending that I'm ok, but on the inside I am dying. I have no friends or family to talk to so most nights I just sit in the darkness of my bedroom. But the worst thing I do is lie to myself, telling myself that tomorrow things will get better. But it just won't. In my heart I know happiness does not exist for me because my very existence was a mistake. My mother couldn't have children yet I was born only to live and experience this.
I don't even need to imagine what it's like to feel worthless as a person, because I am.

[legalboxers]

@Enochian I know things can get BETTER for you. You are young. You will be ok!

[pizzalovershouse]

You may think its bad but I've lost worst things in life my brother who died i almost gavd up i was so depressed i was ready to end my life but i felt him come to me when i tried to end it an I've passed this on to a guy thats wife died i use ti work with her so i passed the words on of how ivd lost ma y i love that died but they wamy us to move on a be happy i told him grieve each day an dont let it stay in you an i said each day it will get betted me i never grieved my brother till after i almost ended it so belive me if i could rise above that depression you can get past your pain learn to like your self an learn new things you love will help an morn past your sadness

[pizzalovershouse]

Thanks for the like i thought u say it sense havnt said hj in awhile to some nice people here

[Elly01]

I feel you my friend it was not easy the beginning of this year too. But don't worry time will heal you. Message me if you want to talk to someone.

[legalboxers]

@Elly01 ty..

[Brian___1731]

I can't relate cuz I've been single all myl IFE but we all feel lonely. Hang in there!

[Brian___1731]

*my life

[Niharika13]

Forgive and try to forget the bad memories.. is the only thing one should opt for.. 😊

[msc545]

Thanks - wow, that was... painful. I hope things get better for you.

[Tishmaria]

Slow and steady you would heal

[Glossful_TIFF]

I could not have said it any better. That was amazing.

[Can-I-Get-A-DoOver]

Are you an INFP personality type?

[legalboxers]

@Can-I-Get-A-DoOver ISTJ

[Can-I-Get-A-DoOver]

@legalboxers that’s interesting. You feel things deeply and are sensual in your telling of heartbreak, yet are an ISTJ. Your depth must be from your introversion. You are in your own head a lot. I do empathize with you. I’ve been there. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. And the relentless tears and sadness. You have to go through it. You have to experience the pain but keep people around you who love and support you. Do things to distract yourself, keep out of the house at your darkest times. Find sunshine and move your body. I recently talked to a guy at a Meetup whose wife had just died a month ago. She got sick and passed away in 3 months. He needed to get out of the house with people. I listened. I think it helped. Maybe you have someone kind who will just listen and not try to solve anything. Maybe you can listen to someone else who needs a kind shoulder to cry on.

[legalboxers]

@can-i-get-a-dooverI wish I can, my mom is 85, she needs me homem she has a panic attack if I go out side and lysols me from top to bottom (she was an RN for 55 years, she thinks I bring in germs even if I step outside for a minute) days go into nights. I go through novenas and rosary beads. As for not breathing, I feel like Im covered in a veil. I can't breathe, I scream out, no one can hear me. She is very petty.

[Guardian45]

Thanks for sharing. Been there, too, too often!

[Gwenhwyfar]

Beautiful ❤️