Do you think putting a girl on a pedestal is the main problem guys have?

I think I am having an epiphany for why I have been having such a hard time with girls in the past few months. I think it's all because of me putting them on a pedestal. Because by putting her on a pedestal, you:

1. Raising her value which in turn lowers your value, which in turn lowers your confidence.
2. Look needy/desperate.
3. Start "auditioning" for her rather than just being yourself (basically trying too hard).
4. Think of her, not as a person, but a trophy to be won.

See if you don't put her on a pedestal, you:

1. Realize that she's no better than you are, which keeps your confidence intact.
2. Understand that you don't need her.
3. Stop worrying about pleasing her or getting her to "accept you", so you just be yourself and if she doesn't like you for who you are, she can go **** herself.
4. Realize that she's a person just like you are.

Think about it. When you're with your friends, you don't hesitate to sometimes say things that they don't exactly agree with. You also don't worry about what to say next and just speak your mind. You call them out on their **** and aren't afraid to put them in their place sometimes. I mean, you don't treat them like crap, but this is all because you DON'T put them on a pedestal and worship them and ask for their approval.

That's really how talking to girls should be ideally, of course with some flirting laced in so you don't get friendzoned.

I think that's what initially attracts a lot of girls to these so-called "jerks", because they are not trying so hard for women's approval. I am not saying being a jerk is the way to go; I just think that putting her on a pedestal because she's "hot" (to him - because remember, attraction is subjective) might be the core problem I have been having when talking to girls, as well as other "nice" guys' in my situation.

These are just my thoughts and hypotheses of course and if you have any criticism, I'd like to hear.
+1 y
Jad T Jones' brief explanation of what this behavior looks like and why it's detrimental:
Do you think putting a girl on a pedestal is the main problem guys have?
Add Opinion