What should nice guys do while waiting to finish last?

This is a look at "nice guys finish last". While girls are making their mistakes or getting bad boys out their system, what should nice guys be doing while patiently waiting their turn?
Updates:
This isn't about me lmao, but intended as an exercise for all th "nice guys" on here to get that advice

And I was too lazy to write a MyTake

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You should realize that your total mindset is wrong.

    You're like a teen who went to Disneyland for the first time, and you can't wait to ride one of the great rides, but after waiting all day long, you never get to ride anything. Then you blame it on everyone but yourself, never realizing that YOU are at fault, because you never even got in line for the ride! Instead, you stood all day in the observation area waiting for someone to "invite" you or something.

    If you are "waiting", then that means that you aren't doing anything to MAKE IT HAPPEN, and that's YOUR fault.

    Let's say that if you want a girl, you're going to have to ask out 100 girls before you get a "yes" (not far from the truth), and I don't mean simply walk up to a random girl and ask out of the blue, but rather you need to spend at least 10 minutes talking to a given girl, decide she would be attractive enough to at least go on a date with (she doesn't have to be "forever perfect"), and THEN ask her.

    Now, assume those are the rules of the game. A confident guy is gonna knock out 10-20 "asks" a week, at least. It's not going to be too long before he gets a girlfriend, because he'll have gotten to 100 in a couple of months at most.

    A typical "nice guy" may ask out ONE girl every six months (or less). At that rate, it may take you YEARS before you get a girl, and it's no more likely that that girl is going to be the "right" girl than it is for the confident guy who found a girl in 2 months. In fact, his odds are better, because he'll have more experience selecting likely girls, and being in a relationships, than you do, so odds are he'll do a better job picking than you do.

    Finding a good, reasonably attractive, COMPATIBLE girl is going to take EFFORT, and it's going to take EXPERIENCE, and you have no one but yourself to blame if you don't even stand in line for the ride.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I suppose if you're willing to be patient, just make sure the girl knows you're there - be a good friend for her, listen to her, still flirt and joke about with her if you want to, (and don't be afraid of the friendzone because its honestly such a crazy idea, like I put this guy straight into the friend zone and now we're dating haha!) but he was always nice to me. If you don't want to seem clingy, just fall back a little, but chat once in a while, just be generally nice really :) hope this helps xo

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What Guys Said 4

  • Sit around on the internet and complain, apparently.

    Or you could spend those years working on improving yourself. Not having to spend time and money on women is an opportunity to get a graduate degree, pick up a new skill, learn a new language, take advantage of your still youthful athleticism, etc.

    Hopefully along the way you'll figure out that *needing* a relationship to be happy is silly and that the world offers countless opportunities for fulfillment that don't require (and indeed can even be inhibited by) a life partner who will typically place a high demand on relationship management and require constant attention.

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  • Not wait. The nice guy that works hard to seize the dream will finish ahead of the whiny child. Work on yourself. Polish your body and mind so your star shines brightest.

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  • Get money, go to school and play video games

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  • I consider myself a "nice guy" - that is, I simply respect myself and everyone else. A "nice guy" that complains about their "niceness" not getting them girls and therefore "finishing last" just needs to re-evaluate what their life is all about, in my opinion. "Nice guys finish last" is a saying invented by bitter lads that are chasing after the wrong thing.

    Chase what you want in life, look at yourself and see what you can improve, don't sit crying about not having a girl and do something about it. Put respect for yourself ahead of pining after girls. Don't just be a shoulder to cry on, especially if you develop feelings for a girl and think she feels the same, tell her. If she doesn't reciprocate, move on. Don't "wait your turn".

    I don't think a girl that is just making mistakes/going for bad boys isn't worth your time anyway.

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