An older guy flirts with me? How do I approach this situation? I don't want to be rude or overreacting.

(Idk if this is in the right category) but I go to this restaurant often, and the waiter there flirts with me or is he being friendly. He calls me beautiful , winks at me , smiles at me , he says he doesn't know how to talk to me and gets nervous. However there is one problem. He is 30 and I am under 18! Now, when he does these things I kinda just laugh them off. I haven't told him my age yet (bad I know). But he's never made any sexual comments or disrespectful comments whatsoever. I don't know if he's just being friendly. I don't know how to approach him about my age and tbh I don't feel like I am mature enough for a relationship with a man like 13 years my senior, but I don't want to overreact if he's not really thinking anything of it. I mean, I'm not grossed out. He's pretty attractive, I don't feel uncomfortable just kind weird.

I've never had much luck guys so I feel dumb for not knowing how to deal with this situation.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1) watch him a bit, does he do that with every female he waits on? it may just be his way of getting a better tip. (assumes US based)

    2) go with it if you're comfortable. Maybe he'd be good practice for you in a safe place. Practice makes perfect.

    3) enjoy it without reciprocating. Nothing wrong with just enjoying the flattery and moving on.

    4) tell him enough is enough -- in the nicest possible way. Talk about school, graduation day, prom, anything to let him know you're under age. Do it in a flirty way even, tell him that if 16 wouldn't get him 20, you might be interested.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Try bringing up somehow in casual conversation that you are underage, that way it isn't so awkward. Instead of coming forth and just telling him that you are underage, talk about school maybe. This will at least let him know that you are in high school. So far, though it seems as if his intentions are harmless. If that changes and you become uncomfortable with it, let him know and then if it still persists after that, either stop going to that restaurant or let your parents know what is going on.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I think you have to be clear in your mind whether it is 'innocent flirting' or 'non innocent flirting'. If it is the latter you should just subtly remind him that you are under age. If he persists, they your parents about it

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What Girls Said 1

  • He sounds like a creepy loser. "Don't know how to talk to her". Men who flirt act confident, but this man is trying to appear "genuine" by acting "insecure" as he knows that because of your age or persona you won't criticise him. Instead, you'll think he's honest and sweet because he also called you beautiful.
    Don't waste your time with douche bags like this if you ever decide to date an older man.

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