OLD ENOUGH FOR SEX BUT NOT TO DATE? WHAT'S THE DEAL?

So I work in an middle school and I'm 19 years old, well I met this guy who also works there who is 31 and from the first time we've met we've had this weird attraction for each other. We've worked together for 7 months and he just recently confessed his attraction for me. I told him I felt the same and we fucked unexpectedly. After we had a talk about the next step in this "relationship" and he said he liked me a lot and would love to date me if he was my age but him being 12 years my senior he said he just can't take the chance at dating someone as young as me. I got really pissed off and told him to never talk to me again but then he wooed me back and we fucked for the second time and again we talked and again he told me I was too young. But we still hang out all the time (without sex) and when we hang out he calls me cute and professes how much he likes me and how beautiful I am. Even at work he looks for me and flirts with me a lot. Again I asked him wtf is up with all this and he said just cause he can't date me doesn't mean he's just gunna stop liking me. I really like him, more than I've liked anyone before and I literally can't stop thinking about him. I text him sometimes and when I do I just feel like I'm annoying him. I don't know what to do :(

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The thing to do would be to leave him alone. Tell him you want a platonic work relationship and you want to do anything intimate with him anymore if he won't commit to a relationship.

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    • I've tried but like I said I work with him so i see him everyday but you're right I need to leave him alone I've seriously tried but fuck I start missing him but he never really texts me first. He used to but now he doesn't which is also making me sad and upset at the same time

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm in the same situation except I'm 19 he's almost 32 and we've never had sex. We just talk. I really like him. He said he liked me but he's talking to women around his age 25-30. I feel like in this situation no matter what. I will always be just a kid to him. He won't take me seriously. Maybe serious enough to have sex because I'm legal but that's it. No love, no relationship I really like him. He treats me so well.

    But just like for you. How long will you just let this guy be nice to you. Have sex. No commitmentm you might like him a lot but maybe you'll have to let him go. Cause I'm pretty sure if he finds someone around his age who he likes hell push you aside for a relationship with her. It might hurt but it's better than being used.

    Good luck on this. I know how it feels to like someone way too old for you.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Lol, you're so dumb my dear. You got played by this guy, and now you're getting played again and again. As the saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Derpity Derp!

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    • I'm not dumb I know he just wanted to fuck me love but like I said we still hang out without us having sex and he wouldn't do that if he honestly just wanted to fuck we've hung to more times not having sex and he's introduced me to all his friends and his family so yeah you see my confusion.

    • You're dumb my dear, you just don't want to accept reality. You sleeping with him was incredibly dumb, and the fact that you slept with him again even after knowing he didn't want to commit any further than that, it amazes me how easy you are.

  • He's right, the age difference is really important. I wouldn't do it either.

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    • So what should I do because I can't control my age or how I feel about him it's making me really depressed because like i said I've never had so much chemistry before and when we're together the age thing is not even an issue. I'm in a professional career you know? And I'm (I hate to sound cliche) pretty mature for my age and like he wants a family and to get married and I want the same too. I just don't understand the big deal

    • Those 12 years difference will remain. At moments such a difference CAN ruin a marriage. (When he'll be feeling old and you'll still feel young.) I've seen it happen.
      Moreover, you work in the same school. I know about schools who don't accept affairs between their personnel. One of both has to look for another job then. It may be the case in yours.
      He may have personal reasons too (family, illness) and may not want them to get known in any way.

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