Boyfriend is friends with his EX girlfriend ?

Hello :)

Since day one of meeting this guy, he has openly mentioned his ex (she lives overseas in London). They still keep in touch and call each other every now and then just as friends to keep in touch.

I mentioned that I was not comfortable with the idea of him being friends with his ex. He visited her for 10 days in London AFTER they broke up and stayed at her house with her family. He also mentioned how she flirted and hugged him etc etc.

I don't know if I am thinking too much. I figured that he could as well lie and say he no longer talks to her if there was something dodgy going on. Also I mentioned that I would like a three way convo just to be friendly and say hi, and he said she doesn't want to talk to me.

Today we had a fight because I mentioned her sticking on to him, and he actually said he wanted us to cool off for a few days and that I can't stop him being friends with his ex.

Help please :)

Thoughts/suggestions of what I should do please? :) Should I let him be and find another guy? I don't know if I deserve someone better who comes with less burden.

Thank you all!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I recommend you break it off entirely. As you move further into the advance division of social dynamics you will learn that attempting to control people will only result in the opposite affect. People tend to only change after dramatic events. The fact he still maintains contact with his ex implies he still feels for her and you will be in an unstable relationship. Even if he remains loyal to you, what will happen when you get into a fight? I've seen it over and over again, when there is a bad fight or when attraction begins to degrade, one of the partners always goes back to their former love/cheats. The fact he is not even considering breaking contact with his ex is already a red flag...

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    • Thanks for your thorough comment! So you think that no exes can be "just friends" without any other attachment?

    • Yes, I believe it is relatively impossible for exes to be "just friends," because the whole point of dating is to share emotional attachments. Those memories almost never go away. My first gf was almost 6 years ago and I still recall most of those memories. Now, if there was immense hatred or if the relationship ended horrifically then perhaps there would be no emotional attachment left, but then again there would also be no contact...

Most Helpful Girl

  • I am sorry to read this but I believe he is using you to help get over his ex but it's apparent that he can't not have her in his life.

    You should be his main priority and whatever his ex thinks, she thinks. He will only stay with you if you turn out to be less of a headache than his ex otherwise I believe he will aim to get back with her. Exes should stay on the other side of the street and never have permission to cross over to your side.

    I think you should take your own advice and move on and leave him be. Good luck with it all.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I live in London, for a small fee I will take her out of the picture for you..

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    • lol hahah I don't know what to say XD

What Girls Said 1

  • Your not over thinking. I would think the same. I'd not feel comfortable. Tell him its the ex or me. But I'd find another guy sense he said you can't stop him from being friends with his ex.

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