What would you do if you were me? (Dont read if you dont like depressive shit)?

Thought id post this non Anon because fuck it.

Many of you already know this about me, But some dont, But as i grew up as a child, I was very fat (Just last September i weighed 260lb at the age of 16), Now in February , I weigh 195lb but am still disgusted at my Figure, It makes me genuinly sick when i walk past a reflection of me or something and know other people see me like that.

I recently did one of those ''How do i look'' things, And facially im a 5, So clearly physically im fucked and every fucker under the sun knows that looks ARE everything whether you want to believe it or not, it is true. So thats me doomed to be a lonely fucker.

Speaking of loney, I got no friends, no family to rely on, Well, Thats not true, I do have a Mum and Dad but my Dad is always working / when not working at home drinking and we dont really talk much, and my Mum is basically on Life support in the hospital and has been for a long time.

Also i have a Job i fucking hate with a passion, I make like 20k a year which is dogshit (Fair enough im only an apprentice) but i give about 50% of it to my dad because his company went bust and he has debts.

So if you were in my shoes, What would you do?

This may sound fucked up, And probably is, But i spent just about every minute of my life thinking of ways i can kill myself and such, And the only thing that is stopping me from doing it right now is the fear of that my Dad might also do it if i do it because he won't have anyone left then either, And it would be fucking awful of me to put my mum through that aswel in her condition.

So what would you do if you were me, And you were so desperate to just end it but you felt like you were restraint from doing that?

All and any advice welcomed.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • What would I do if I were you?
    Well, first of all I'd realise that facially being a 5 isn't actually bad. I mean, it's average which means that, on average, most people will probably be around the five mark. Naturally stunning people and extremely unattractive people are actually less common in day to day settings.
    Also, if I was unhappy with my weight then I'd try my best to lose it - I'd change my eating habits to healthy ones for good and begin an exercise regime.
    I would finish my apprenticeship so I could earn more money and support my father more comfortably.
    You know, I sometimes contemplate ending it all too but then I think of all the people I'm going to hurt if I do :( as long as I still have something good to offer this world and have not ruined someone else's life then I guess I'm here to stay.

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    • Thats it though, I have nothing good to offer this world. Im just another Mediocre - Unnatractive individual who spends his entire life doing shit he hates just so he can support others and has noone to give a crap about him in the progress.

      Lets say i did commit suicide, Who would i hurt? 2 People, My parents, Thats it. I seriously, truly believe they are the only people who would actually be sadenned if i died.

      Whats the point of life alone? The is none.

    • Listen, I know where you are coming from because I do feel the same way about my own existence at times. I mean, sure if I died my family would be sad but I'd soon be forgotten just like the millions of other people who once lived on this earth. I also believe that there is no real meaning to life.
      However! hat does not mean that you ccan't give your own life a meaning. I mean, surely you have your own aspirations? nd dude, yyou're only 16, and have so much time ahead of you to do positive things! Even simply volunteering at soup kitchens or donating to charity are deeds that could make someone's life so much better.

    • Update: Omg I saw your pic and you're not unattractive at all!

Most Helpful Guy

  • Things will change. Things -are- changing. You lost 65 lbs, damn.

    You think having a '5' face is a big problem for guys? Nah. Plenty of girls don't even -like- guys who look too 'pretty'.

    I'm really sorry about your mother.

    Would your father not be better off declaring bankruptcy? Or is he not in that poor a situation?

    You're making what I made... when I was 24, roughly doing a pounds/dollars conversion. That's excellent for your age, really is.

    You sound like a young man who's had a tough time, is growing up very fast and your'e blind to how much you're accomplishing.

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    • Nothing is changing, I lost 65lb yes, People still ignore me / dont give a shit. Nothing changes.
      Sure i can loose weight, That dosent make me any more attractive though, People still consider me to be ugly no matter how much fat i have on my body.

      He did declare bankruptcy, If i didn't give him the money i do we would loose our home, We are trying to sell it to get the Equity out of it (Around £300,000), But noone in this current economy is willing to hand over £600,000 for a home.

      There is nothing excellent about making 10,000 a year, I would actually get more money if i didn't work and was living on the government, I only dont want to do that as i dont want to be a burden on the system.

      As for that last bit, I have accomplished nothing, Things are getting worse not better :/. I tried loosing weight to make me more attractive so i could get people to rely on, But i have an ugly face so its pointless even bothering -_-.

    • Show All
    • If you look at that girl, She has a nice face throughout the entire thing. I began with a a fucked face.

      5 is not Average, 5 is bad', 5 is the face that you dont pay attention to becuse its not an 8 or 9. on the poll, about 60% of people but 5, About 25% but 1-4 and only a couple people put higher than 5. Those are probably the people who were just putting that so they didn't hurt my feelings or some crap like that.

      As you said, Im 3/4 the way to my goal, And still i look just as ugly as i did when i began, Why should i even bother loosing another 30lb just to get the same nasty looks from people?

      And honestly dude, If my life is considered 'Pretty damn well'' for my age, Then how come im probably the most lonely / depressed person i know? Surely if other people are worse then me they shouldn't be like this.

    • Because whether people are depressed or not, statistically, has very little to do with their life situation, and more to do with how they see things and view the world.

      otherwise everyone in war torn countries would be depressed, and almost nobody in the west would be.

      even the poor now live lives of luxury the average person 200 years ago couldnt' have imagined.

      You don't have to feel that way. It's possible to change your thoughts, if you want to.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I would pick myself up and go to the gym, or pm me :) I am here for u if u want to talk x

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    • I go to the Gym every other day, I eat just enough not to starve.

      Its very hard to stay motivated when you have noone to give a shit about your results.

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    • k im going to pm u anyway

    • Please reply to my pm seriously I am here for u, u are really not as bad looking as u think! you got some 9-10 votes!!! and most of the votes were 5+! so u really aren't bad looking!

  • Do not think you are bad looking. There is a women out there for u!! My bf/man of my dreams is about 350 pounds and I love him to death. He to me is the sexiest man alive. So keep your head up, you never know whose prince you will be.

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    • People like yourself are one a million.

      Im afraid we live in a world where if you aren't ripped as hell with pecks, six pack and an amazing, perfect face you're fucked.

    • Aww. Do not give up and dont think there is no one for you! My bf confided in me and was telling me how he thought he would always be alone, unlovable all that untrue crap. I am not a religious person, but I find myself thanking God almost everyday for him being strong enough to stay with life and keep going untill I met him. He makes me beyond happy and I have like no doubts he will be my husband someday

    • Also from what you said you do not sound like a big/heavy guy. You sound super manly and prob could make a women feel super safe ! A lot of MEN not boys or guy , but MEN weigh any where from 190-250. If you go out sometime try to take not of any families u see. maybe fathers. My dad was a big dude when my mom met him and up untill a few years ago. his avergae is about 200 pounds. Also most women dont want a guy who weighs the same or less as them makes us feel manly. My sis feeds her bf cupcakes so she styas slimer then him lol

What Guys Said 4

  • As shitty as life is, it can get much better.
    "I may be lying in the ditch, but the view is spectacular!" Wish I knew who wrote that. Whenever I'm down about shit I remember that quote.
    Work on yourself. If that is all you got at the moment, go with it. Good for you about loosing the weight. Keep it up and you will find that as you get healthier, you will feel better about things. One step at a time. Just think about the next step, not the end result, not the future. Just focus on the next step. Each one is a victory.
    Join a club or find a hobby to socialize. Become a regular at a local coffee shop.

    Get an education. More important than anything in terms of making life easier.

    As you work at your shitty job, keep applying to jobs you may like. Maybe you'll get one.

    Now I know that when your 16 it's impossible to have proper perspective on things, but you haven't really seen much of life. There is much more to it than you can possibly imagine. Don't give up so soon.

    Trust me - for those of us who were unlucky enough to have had a crappy childhood life gets SO much better when you move out and are able to fully spread your wings.

    Keep taking steps, one at a time. One day you will realize that you are miles from where you were.
    Good luck.

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  • I would work on my confident and self-esteem. If I can't even like myself, I can't expect other people to do it.

    The world only care about what it can get from you, and vice versa. I still use that as a motivator and it work great for me so far. Be useful or be left back, that just how it is.

    Good luck, wish you all the best.

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    • I try to be as useful as i can, Hell, I give away 50% of my already terrible income to support my Family at the age of 16.

      But whats the point of it all? People dont give a shit about me, They only care about what i can do for them, And i can do nothing for them that someone else can do x50 times better.

  • if i were you i wouldn't give up. continue striving forward. do as much as i can do with everything i got and even when I've maxed myself out still search for more potential.

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    • Its hard to strive forward when there is nothing worth striving towards.

  • From what you say, it sounds like you’re well on the way to turning things around. You aren’t happy with your weight loss? Keep going. Job sucks? Yup, is it what you want to be doing, do you have any plans for what you want to do eventually, will it need training?

    What I’m saying is, a goal might help you, since you’ll know where you want to be and can take satisfaction from getting there.

    I currently don’t have a goal. I have a shitty job but don’t know what I would rather be doing. I go to the gym but I don’t know what I’m losing the fat and building the muscle for. I’m just treading water, coasting along, not sure why. I have no real purpose to doing this, and would probably prefer to be dead too. Maybe you can figure something out where I can’t?

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    • This is just it though, I feel as though making a goal would just be stupid, I mean, Whats the point? Lets say i make a goal to loose weight and gain muscle etc. I get there, then what? I've just Years of my life making a goal but that dosent matter, Facially im just the same as i was before? nothings changed...

      As for the job thing, Im in College on a 3 year course to be a Carpenter, Something i never wanted to do, Im only doing it because that was the best paying job i could get with my qualifications, I kinda fucked school up, I got bullied and shit so much i would just no go in for weeks, My attendence in my final Exam year was like 50%.

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