Many of you already know this about me, But some dont, But as i grew up as a child, I was very fat (Just last September i weighed 260lb at the age of 16), Now in February , I weigh 195lb but am still disgusted at my Figure, It makes me genuinly sick when i walk past a reflection of me or something and know other people see me like that.
I recently did one of those ''How do i look'' things, And facially im a 5, So clearly physically im fucked and every fucker under the sun knows that looks ARE everything whether you want to believe it or not, it is true. So thats me doomed to be a lonely fucker.
Speaking of loney, I got no friends, no family to rely on, Well, Thats not true, I do have a Mum and Dad but my Dad is always working / when not working at home drinking and we dont really talk much, and my Mum is basically on Life support in the hospital and has been for a long time.
Also i have a Job i fucking hate with a passion, I make like 20k a year which is dogshit (Fair enough im only an apprentice) but i give about 50% of it to my dad because his company went bust and he has debts.
So if you were in my shoes, What would you do?
This may sound fucked up, And probably is, But i spent just about every minute of my life thinking of ways i can kill myself and such, And the only thing that is stopping me from doing it right now is the fear of that my Dad might also do it if i do it because he won't have anyone left then either, And it would be fucking awful of me to put my mum through that aswel in her condition.
So what would you do if you were me, And you were so desperate to just end it but you felt like you were restraint from doing that?
All and any advice welcomed.
Most Helpful Girl
What would I do if I were you?
Well, first of all I'd realise that facially being a 5 isn't actually bad. I mean, it's average which means that, on average, most people will probably be around the five mark. Naturally stunning people and extremely unattractive people are actually less common in day to day settings.
Also, if I was unhappy with my weight then I'd try my best to lose it - I'd change my eating habits to healthy ones for good and begin an exercise regime.
I would finish my apprenticeship so I could earn more money and support my father more comfortably.
You know, I sometimes contemplate ending it all too but then I think of all the people I'm going to hurt if I do :( as long as I still have something good to offer this world and have not ruined someone else's life then I guess I'm here to stay.
Most Helpful Guy
Things will change. Things -are- changing. You lost 65 lbs, damn.
You think having a '5' face is a big problem for guys? Nah. Plenty of girls don't even -like- guys who look too 'pretty'.
I'm really sorry about your mother.
Would your father not be better off declaring bankruptcy? Or is he not in that poor a situation?
You're making what I made... when I was 24, roughly doing a pounds/dollars conversion. That's excellent for your age, really is.
You sound like a young man who's had a tough time, is growing up very fast and your'e blind to how much you're accomplishing.
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