We've both moved on and we're still friends. But is he purposely avoiding me?

I was good friends with this guy until a few months ago when things took a romantic turn between us and we started seeing each other as potential love interest. We didn't date feverishly but we did talk a lot and flirted often, although when we were platonic friends we connected very well too. We've slept together three times and I think he wished there could be stronger romantic feelings there but he just didn't feel much toward me. So all that lasted about a few months.

We never defined that we were dating and seems like the friendship was still the prevailing factor there. So now we're both branching out and dating other people, it just seems like the "thing" between us came to an end. I know he never felt that strongly about me but now we never talk like we used to anymore, even compared to how everything was before the last few months. He used to be so quick to share his daily life or thoughts and emotions with me and now he appears to be distant. I know he's been pretty into the couple of girls he's been seeing lately so I'm sure that's a huge distraction but I do wonder if he's purposely avoiding me or just don't think about me anymore. I'm not distraught or anything but I thought even things didn't work out between us, at least we can still be good friends and share all those thoughts and good laughs like we used to.


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  • I've been where you have and it's not all that great. Which is why years ago I made it a firm rule as to not be friends with girls I like, dated, or and gone from dating to friends or friends to dating ( I hope that made sense). Either he knows about strong you're feelings are and is trying to spare you AND him the emotional torment of dragging it all out or he really didn't care too much after it was all over between the two of you. I personally think that many people don't know that once the switch from friends to lovers one that CANNOT be made easy for many reason. I do not have scientific answers to back it up so I will use my personal experience on this matter. There was two instances; the first girl we were just co-workers (yeah I know no romantic relations in the workplace but sometimes shit just happens) and we all used t hang out after work, grab drinks food and go bowling. We shared some conversations, conversations turned to texting/calling and talking on the phone at odd hours at the night then we just hung out the 2 of us and we just ended up making out. Like your situation it lasted only months and then we both thought it would be better to "be friends" BAD CHOICE! We would started to slowly drift apart, the calls/texts stopped, things at work were dicey and soon our work friends ended up choosing sides. We would not see eye to eye and then I just told her it would be better not being friends. Then it got worse because work would force us to talk when we didn't want to. Ultimately, I ended up quitting and finding a better job. The 2nd girl, it was very spur of the moment type shit. When to a party, meant some friends, of friends of friends and then all night talked, danced, drank and changed #s w/ the girl and we set up a date right after I drove her home. the few days leading up to the date, it was non-stop flirting on the phone like the 1st girl. We had what to me seemed like we were connecting in more than 100 ways. Then the date came...

    • @Asker - Planned my shit like I do, at the end her words not mine "Oh my god I had such a great time! You are freaking awesome & I cannot believe that I'm totally into you this fast, but that's why I would to very much be friends, it would mean so much to me, for us to be that right now!" I was like WTF this is not happening. I told her I didn't ask her out to be friends & all that flirting we were doing isn't things I would have even said to a homegirl of mine. She never told me why she wanted that, but I like a damn moron hesitantly said yes. Wrong move. This ended fast than the 1st. in like 2wks, I just met up w/ her and told her how I feel about all this and said I don't want to be friends with her, my strong reasons for them and left. In those 2 weeks, I avoided, I ignored her calls, and the few times it felt soooo disingenuous of her beings friends and me wanting more. NEVER AGAIN.

    • @Asker so now back to you! If he's talking, flirting and hanging with other girls then just let him be. You guys had your moment and now it has passed. That switch is never good for either people. Oh and my bad for the looooong ass responses. I hope it has helped.

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