Was he only interested in money?

I went through a terrible time in my life where I was friendless, jobless, degree-less it was horrible.

I met this guy who agreed to teach me some stuff, and I was like sure why not.

I didn't ever like him, or grow an attachment, but now I realize he picked up on the fact that I'm anti-social since the first day I met him.

I think he thought I liked him or something, because why else would I pay him when I didn't learn anything?

I don't think he suspected at all that something was actually wrong.

One time he was showing me something and I got up to sit next to him, and he was kind of smirking and going like no you're sitting on the opposite side you can't see the answers, and I was like... okay.

What was this guy's deal? I paid because I as embarrassing as it sounds, needed a human being as company, and was literally paying someone to be my friend.

But I never thought to think why he was also putting up with the whole thing, because I never saw him as a human being. Just someone who got me out of the house.

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  • So you have social anxiety, I have that, well you just have to learn to love being your own friend, then you learn to accept yourself (know thy-self) then you can start working on what or who you want to become if you don't like your character. Just don't imitate others, improve yourself instead.

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