What am I supposed to do with someone who is scared of commitment? and why do guys get scared?

Well I shouldn't be complaining cause things have been going strong but I think if I ask him again "am I your gf?" it will make things "complicated." But why? What is so hard about calling me your gf dammit? Sorry, its just irritating when I think about it. It's been more than a year of these shenanigans. I understand in the beginning because we didn't jump into a relationship right away. We hooked up then became friends w benefits then got closer emotionally and ever since, we have been an item to the point where we can't talk to anyone else. I mean we were acting like a couple and people recognized. NOW, we are in a relationship. Yet, I know he still hesitates to call me his gf and show me off as his gf. Why?
About two months ago, we went on a trip together. We did have a few drinks but we knew what was happening. What the alcohol did was give us more balls to express what we were feeling. So somehow while we were out, we got upset and it lead to me questioning wtf am I to him? cause he'll treat me like a gf but doesn't wanna say I'm his gf. So I tell him I feel like he's hiding me and he thinks I'm crazy for thinking that but I showed him all the evidence I have and he didn't have a legit justification. At the end of the night, I just told him I feel like Im being used. He got hurt that I accused him of that but how could I not feel that way? He even teared up but damn its not my fault for feeling that way. He said "you're my girl! you're the target girl I wanna pursue long term with" I'm like okay so say Im your gf and he's like "whats the big difference calling u my girl or gf?" I'm like exactly so whats the big deal of calling me your gf? Then after forever he was like "ok you're my girl, you're my gf!" I feel like he just said it so I can shut up.
I understand we're long distance, he's focused on building his career and he said he doesn't have time to give me everything as a bf. I accept the difficulties. So why the struggle with saying bf/gf?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Girls get skiddish a lot easier than guys in my opinion.

    • Skiddish about what? commitment? If yeah then I disagree. If skiddish of the guy having commitment issues and stuff then okay yeah I agree. We're more detailed people and want to know where we stand as opposed to guys just go with the flow.

      But this still doesn't help me figure out why he hesitates to call me his gf. The only thing I can think of which fucked up ( i mean what reason wouldn't be fucked up) is because he wants to be free to walk away or for other reasons.

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