Why would a guy lie about going to a strip club?

My boyfriend lied and hid the fact that he went to a strip club for a bachelor party. He said it's because he was worried I would be mad/didn't know how I would react. I wouldn't have cared, and I mean it's just a bachelor party tradition. I'm laid back. But it's still a fairly new relationship and just being up front the whole time would have made it 100% fine. But is the fact that he tried to cover it up before coming clean too sketchy?

Do guys lie about this kind of thing because more happened that they're hiding? Should this secrecy be a deal breaker?
Updates:
Prior to this, I asked if they were going to take his buddy out to the strip club and he said no because the fiancée would be too mad and didn't want them doing much. So I thought I had kind of put out there that I wouldn't care.
Thanks to all commenters! I like honest opinions :)

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14

Most Helpful Guy

  • I've been to a strip club once in my life. It was a spur of the moment decision on a stag night (not my choice. I was drunk and just going with the flow).

    I bought quite a few lap dances and I really enjoyed them but I have a sense of perspective and didn't take it too seriously so I had no problem telling my partner about it - for the sake of full disclosure.

    I instantly regretted it. She felt that I'd now be comparing her to these 'idealised' women and she would no longer be good enough. No matter how much I explained she just didn't get it that it was all a bit of a carry on and nothing more.

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    • Thanks for your input :)

      I would probably be upset about that, even though I am not at all insecure about my figure and such. This is mostly because I had two abusive relationships where the guys played with my head regarding sexual matters and made me out to be sexually inadequate due to their own flaws. I would fear he would like it too much that he would go back on his own for more.

      I can fully handle a bf going to a strip club, but the lap dances would make me uncomfortable. I just think he would feel the same if I was grinding with a guy at a dance club. Ya know?

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's completely fine. Just a lot of girls aren't as laid back and don't like their boyfriend going to the strip club. So he hid it so you wouldn't get mad or even break up with him

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    • It's fine to lie? Or fine to go to strip clubs?

    • Well of course it's not okay to lie all the time. But I would say it's fine this time since he was lying to actually protect your relationship

    • Ah ok. I guess I'm just sad that he thought I was the kind of girl who couldn't handle that, that I would flip out about something so minor.

      I think I also feel weird about his friends - they encouraged him to hit on girls once at a club because they said I would "never find out". So if he gives into peer pressure for this strip club thing- so he claims it was peer pressure even though I said I didn't care about the strip club, what else could he do because they encourage him to do it?

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What Guys Said 3

  • No. I wouldn't have told you either. There's sone jealousy that will play out on the girls part. Never fails. Do better to keep it a secret. What would you be more mad at? If he told you he was going and you said no and he went anyway? Or that he kept it a secret and just went?

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    • Mad that he kept it a secret. Adds a level of sketchiness that otherwise wouldn't have been there.

      I said "well if you thought I would be mad, why do it?" There was alcohol flowing he says, and he caved to peer pressure. I would never be that girl that forbids my bf from going to a strip club with the buddies. I commented that it was lame - when he told me the fiancée would be too mad if they brought him to a strip club, so they weren't going to do it. So now I'm convincing myself he did something else.

  • "He said it's because he was worried I would be mad/didn't know how I would react" <--- that's why he lied obviously

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    • But is there more to it that he's hiding? And is it a sign of more lies to come? He knows I've been to strip clubs myself, once with an old bf. Does that change anything?

  • its taboo.

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    • Hmm. For a bachelor party though? With a group of guys? Is it really that taboo?

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