If I don't slow down our relationship, will it be doomed? Or should I just go with the flow?

I've always heard relationships fizzle when they go too fast.
I don't have much experience at all in relationships because I was only ever in a long term one.

My new boyfriend loves me. He truly loves me so much already. I know he loves me coming from someone without much relationship experience, too, yes I just know I can trust his words and also guys on here have confirmed they have fallen in love weeks into relationships. rarely but truly.

He is just so naturally 1,000 steps ahead and says all of his relationships have started out fast.

We have been together for almost 1 month and I'm barely feeling like I can be myself around him. We have done sexual things but not intercourse. And that felt fast. It feels right until after it happens. Then it feels too soon for me.

Anyway, I find myself trying to speed myself up but it's not working for me. I feel I need to go slow. I explained this to him. He understands and wants this to last.

Im trying to meet him in the middle somewhere. I worry he will not be able to go as slow as me, then worry I won't be able to go as fast as him...

He's already married to me in his mind, based on what he's said. He doesn't want to be with anyone else.

If I don't slow things down could this not work out?


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I don't have personal relationship experience, but I don't think fast-moving relationships are inherently bad. I could see how bad relationships could go fast though, because they think it'll get them past their arguments or something. I think a bigger problem in your relationship is lack of communication and mutual respect. If you're uncomfortable with something in the relationship, the next step should be trying to work it out, not trying to get over it.

    • That is great advice. Work it out, not get over it. I've communicated this with him but every time I tell him we have to slow down I end up worrying it's too slow.

What Girls Said 1

  • I agree with @electrollama. You need to talk with him and explain how you feel. If you dont feel comfortable talking with him, the relationship will only get worse. If he isn't able to understand where you're feelings are coming from then he might not be right for you.

    • Yes absolutely, we have discussed this but perhaps we need to again because he slowed down and then I worried im making him go too slow or be unnatural for him.

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