My Boyfriend Goes to the Bar Every Other Night?

My boyfriend of six months just recently turned 21 this past September. Well a couple weeks ago, he went to a bar with his friends, and now he goes literally every other night. I haven't said anything since he's just turned 21 (plus we haven't been dating for very long), and I assumed most 21 year olds go crazy with the alcohol at first. However, he stays out until at least 1:00 a. m. and then complains how he's tired. We've been discussing moving in together, but I don't want to live with him if he's going to be loud and drunk all the time. Not to mention the fact that he's been complaining about how he doesn't make enough money and wants another job. I'm really wondering if this is normal or if I should say something..


Most Helpful Guy

  • There was a question on here I answered from a woman in her 30s wondering a similar thing about her boyfriend in his 40s, except he was going out most nights. My answer was that I thought it wasn't normal for a man of his age, but more for someone in they're 20s.

    So I'd say it's pretty normal, some people do it for more years than others, but for most sensible people it's just a phase.

    My suggestion would be to talk to him about it and state your concerns. You don't have to sound critical, just concerned. Maybe you can go with him sometimes or maybe you think he's not giving you enough time. Either way, learn to talk to one another :)


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What Guys Said 3

  • What he's doing is turning him into a bad person
    you don't want make any moves to be with him
    cause alcoholism is serious mental health disease
    that's where it's going with him and if he needs more
    money he is drinking up all of his money at the bars
    my dad was alcoholic and my late moms dad/ uncle
    was alcoholic it would be nice if he would think of what he's
    throwing away cause he got you that wants be in his life.

  • Yes, say something. Say a lot! And DO NOT move in with him until he gets his life in order has a new job and he gives you a ring and a wedding date.

  • Better to voice your concerns now than wait until later when things get worse.


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