Once a jerk, always a jerk?

If a guy didn't care about you before, and walked away when you were hurt instead of seeing if you were okay, if he's trying to be kind now should you trust him?

Or is he being nice only because he has nothing to lose
Updates:
Why even bother being apologetic when we are no longer friends?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think if you're a jerk in your adult years you probably won't change. It's one thing for a guy to be a jerk when he's in his teens and early 20's since he still can be experiencing heightened aggression from puberty and is still gaining maturity but if a guys a jerk in his later 20's I'd say that's just who he is and who he will always be.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know. MY boyfriend is amazing most of the time. Then he can be absolutely awful to me. Cancell on me. Be rude and moody at me for no reason.
    Never accepts responsiblity for when he has upset me, sometimes says sorry ages after. Sometimes now.

    Then he is great again. I forgive and forget. I try to talk it through with out getting mad or accusing of him.

    Maybe if you don't tollerate someone not caring if your hurting or they hurt you, and forgive them they will always be a jerk.

    Maybe that's just who they are.

    Fuck knows. But in all honesty, if you are not too deep with this person perhaps things arn;t worth working on. So many people wouldn't dream of being that way.

    If you are in a relationship and it's that far and you want him, good luck. And I hope he starts treating you with a bit more respect.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 8

  • Lol here's a song you should listen to, replace hoe with him. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4ydZIbnONE

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  • no.
    once a cheater, always a cheater. But men and women can grow up and stop being self centered assholes. so people can change.

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  • Some guys are not good at "showing they care" or might even be afraid to.
    It's a coin toss: either he's realized something or he's just playing you.

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    • This. sp33d couldn't have said it better. Either he has realised he wasn't there when you needed him and is sorry , or he is trying to see how far he can push you around (not literally) , basically how much of a mat you are. Are you easily walked over/on? If so be careful. You may be pissed now, but it sounds like you are questioning it due to maybe forgiving him for not being there? Be careful ,'cause if it is the latter then you're better without anyone like that in your life.

  • Probably because all his options are gone. Honestly, when I start being really nice to a girl I rejected in the past, it usually means I've run out of options.

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  • People can change. Some however won't.

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  • once I've jerked, always i jerk.

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  • Depends on time passed

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  • No comment. lol.

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What Girls Said 8

  • he's coming back because all his other options dried up so now he's trying it with you. don't give him a chance. his true colors came out when you were hurt and he didn't give a fuck. he still doesn't give a fuck but he figures if you were so emotional about him before, then you may be able be manipulated into sex. he just wants to use you. tell him to get lost

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  • People change, everybody changes. You have to trust that people do things for the best interests of them and others. Cuz I don't know if he ends up just doing it cuz he has nothing to lose then ull find out and then u can stop talkin to him and shit, but he could have changed and is actually trying to be nice and u don't wanna lose that opertunity

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  • I agree. Once a jerk always a jerk. I regret giving my bf second chance..

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    • Show All
    • I agree with what you've just said

  • S do not beg or wait for any man he is more than likely testing the water

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  • yeah it is true

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  • I would be realllyyyy careful when it comes to this guy. He is probably just seeing if you still need him. If he left when you needed him, he obviously didn't care at the time. Right now he wants to see if you are able to cope on your own... basically if he is still a major priority in your life and if you need him. Don't trust him.

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  • Agreed - some have a nut loose
    others attach life this way to get what they want
    poor shoppers return to easy prey
    his reputation has foiled all his other ploys, except in your head

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  • I don't know in this case but I believe that it is possible to change. I have talked once with a guy who had deep regrets and guilt about something in the past. And he was sincere because he had no interest in lying. I was not the girl who he treated bad.

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