Why won't the police do anything?

I moved in with this guy a couple months ago, he started becoming extremely obsessive, as well as both physically and mentally abusive. Took me a bit to realize what he was doing because I fell for all his shit. Anyways, I got out of that relationship, I got my own apartment. For the last week, he has been showing up at my apt complex. He'll be sitting in his car when I get home. He was in the parking lot one morning when I went to work. He tries to approach me and I simply ignore him or just say "I don't want to talk" thankfully there are usually other people around and things don't get physical, other than him grabbing my arm a couple times. He's even had the audacity to be waiting at my front door when I got home one day but I realized this and made it back to my car before he could catch up with me. He's psychotic. I've called the police and they've said they can't do anything unless he steps foot in my apt. (Due to the fact they have no record of him being abusive towards me, I never filed a report on him or anything, I thought I could just leave it behind me, and he has not had any abusive actions in this past week) They have feed me a bunch of bullshit. Now I feel completely trapped and helpless. I'm seriously to the point where I'm terrified of even leaving my apt because I don't know what this man is capable of. What in the hell am I supposed to do from here?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Lot depends on the country you are from but I presume what you are looking for is a restraining order where if he breaks it, he can be arrested. I think what the police are saying is restraining orders can't be given without evidence of threatening behaviour (filed reports) . I presume they are afraid of false claims of behaviour against innocent people by other people who hold grudges. Its a catch 22 - You can't prove the behaviour until you have suffered it and filed reports.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Like everyone else suggested, get a restraining order and keep documents of everything he does to you. The way the law works is they have to catch the person in the act. This basically takes out all the possibilities of you lying about the situation and any way it could just be a misunderstanding.

    For example, a guy tried to break into my apartment while I was home. He never entered my apartment, & I was able to see who he was through the peep whole. From there I took pictures of the guy, what car he got into, & this license plate number. There was even marks on the door where he was trying to get in. When the cop arrived, this was no good, because the guy never entered into my apartment and stole anything. The cop further explains he could just be an ex boyfriend & I could be making all this up just to get him in trouble.

    Another incident I had, was a coworker tried to bag her car into me, on the side of the road at work. When I spoke with an officer, he told me that since I wasn't harmed & the area I has standing in could be used as a parking spot there isn't anything they could do about it.

    I guess since so many people have "cried wolf" & caused unnecessary arrests cops have chosen to stay out of it until something serious actually happens.

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    • Hey, Thanks for the MHO ;-)

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What Guys Said 4

  • Speak to a lawyer. You have people living in the area that can be used as witnesses.

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  • Go to a judge and try getting a restraining order you might have better luck that way.

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  • file a restraining order. that will bar him from coming within x number of feet of you.

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  • There is a big part of me that just laughs. So foolish of you to move in with him without really knowing him. He is controlling and you, well, are naive... Learn from it getba restaining order, pepper spray and a gun if you can.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Start making notes of when he is outside your apartment, when he approaches you, try and take photos of him outside your home, if you know you have to walk past him try and put your phone on record in your pocket. But keep reporting him if he touches you, personally I'd scream my head off so that everyone around turns and looks, I'd have no issue doing that if he was doing what he is to me.

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  • Get a restriction order. He will go to jail if he gets within a certain distance from you

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  • Get a restraining order Hun if he gets close to u they'll have to do something because this isn't healthy

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