Guys, do you approach pretty girls or you let them go away?

My female friends always talk about how hard it is to find a bf (by that I mean that guys don't approach them or if they do, they turn out to be popular douches) and I just wonder how's that possible since they are beautiful and friendly with every person they met/know? I can't find a bf either and guys really don't approach me.. I find myself pretty, not a adriana lima type of girl but I'm not ugly either.. I'm out going and friendly but not too much.. So, what's the deal?

It's not just how we look, there a personality that comes with it, but look is the first thing you notice when you meet someone and my friends and I don't even get that 'hi, my name is _____, what's yours?' (If you get the point you'll know what I mean with this)

Thanks for answering or at least trying to (:

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Most Helpful Guy

  • An older woman was asking much the same question the other day on GaG. Since the same things apply, I'll copy over my answer.

    --
    Herbie Hancock and John Mayer released a song that talked about this. It's name is "Stitched Up"

    here is an excerpt:

    --

    I wonder where she came from
    I wonder where she's gotta go
    Who's to say she's single and who's to say she's on her own?
    Girls like that don't sleep alone

    Ah, here's a thing, here's a thing

    That girl is flawless
    And I know I'm not the first one to think that
    And since I'm not the first, I sure won't be the last
    Spend my whole life lookin' behind my back
    I just don't think I'm up to that

    --
    Yes, guys are intimidated by your beauty. They are also intimidated by the other guys that can lay claim to your beauty. Since a contest for your affection will almost certainly result in a loss for most guys, most guys choose to not compete in the first place.

    Basically, you are going to have to treat being attractive as a handicap that you have to overcome. If you want a bf, you go talk to the guy you are interested in. He will be flattered and you will meet new guys.

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    • Personaly I don't approach guys, but some of my friends do that and many times they got rejected by them... So, I don't know, I get your point and that song is good example to explane this, but I don't know why they got rejected, since they are pretty with good qualities..

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    • Yeah, you're right :) Thanks

    • Glad to help.

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What Guys Said 21

  • if you want a boyfriend, you are going to have to talk to someone. Im a shy guy and if I like someone I might stare but thats it. too shy. you gotta take the wheel from there. if we dont seem interested at first its because we are scared. just try and make us feel comfortable.

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    • I would talk to guys that likes me, but how am I supposed to do that if I don't know that? I have many guy friends but I have no clue if some of them like me..

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    • Hahhaa anything apart from me asking out lol

    • @romeotte16 I don't know then.

  • less guys approach these days to avoid being called creeps or harassers. It's just a lot less complicated/risky to just not bother anymore. Most guys can get what they need off of a few minutes of p*rn , which is a lot less work that actually going out there and getting rejected several dozens of times before some girl gives you a chance xD

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    • And eventually, no one will approach us girls...

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    • I agree with your first two sentences. Its difficult because women. Im curious as to how bad it will be in the next 10-20 years. Its really high risk-NO reward.

    • Its difficult because women are all different on when it is acceptable to approach.

  • a lot of nice guys are intimidated. Many girls say "Well the pressure the world puts on as a girls... we have to do this, we have to look like that, we have to xxx." and they are right. But there is also a lot of pressure on boys too. Are they supposed to be bad asses? Are they supposed to look stunningly HAWT all the time? Blah blah blah. For many of the good guys, they don't know what they are supposed to be or do and they also get intimidated and frustrated and just don't do anything.

    In High School i was kind of like that. I was popular, but not the most handsome popular guy around and I couldn't figure out what anyone would really like me. Then one day I was like "Wait a second, I have this and this and this quality. I am going to ask a girl out. If she doesn't like it well so be it." After that I started getting my "mojo" and never had that issue any more. It was just a matter of growing up a little.

    Anyway maybe some insight into boys. Very general, but a thought for you.

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    • Well I don't seem like a girl that flashes the sign "back off", I'm friendly and I can easily get to know with the person I meet.. I'm not even a popular one but I'm outgoing. My friends are like that also and that's why I don't get why guys don't approach us.. We're not looking for popular douches nor we hang around with them, just a normal nice guy, but they seem to don't even look at us.. If you get the point

    • Well i am not saying YOU do anything. I am saying that sometimes the nice guys are trying to get comfortable in their own skin and it might take awhile, that is all. I suspect you are very pretty and very nice. Just be patient.

    • Okay, well thank you :)

  • To be honest, i don't approach people, so i don't know if i can help you, but at least I try to say why i don't.
    If i don't have anything to say to someone that i don't know, the i won't do anything, i mean... i don't go and say ''hi, im _____''
    If i find a girl pretty (i mean, if i like her) it would be harder for me.
    If a girl is pretty but i don't have any interest, it would be the same that with everybody else.

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  • Welcome to our struggle. You know, us guys LOVE to be approached by women as much as you would.

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    • Well I'm bit an old fashioned girl.. But, maybe I could try that..

  • Lots of guys are shy in that area, and just not comfortable with trying to approach girls they don't know.

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  • i just assume they get this shit all the time anyway so i just let them alone.

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    • well because i had a very attractive good friend. and she was being hit on like everywhere and was really pissed off from it. i assume most attractive girls suffer from that so i donĀ“t want to bother them.

    • Oh, i get it.. Okay, thanks :)

  • honestly im told im pretty good lookin and i do take the time to ask girls out... even though i swear i got farther with having the girl ask me out... anyway it has gotten me no where. they all have BFs or they want to focus on school or they dont know what they are doing in their life... so on and so on. why the hell should we waste out time? also just throwing this out there, but chicks dont know what they want. they all say they dont care about looks or money and want someone honest and funny and such... lol yaaaa ill let u know if i ever find anyone like that.

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    • I'm like that to be honest.. Since I'm not rich and I value money even more, I don't go for guys who are rich.. I run away from them.. As for looks, yeah it does matter but only for the first impression.. But, the guy I find attractive doesn't look like Brad Pit, I'm in for a guys smile and eyes. That's what drives me crazy and that's the 'look' I see first when I meet a guy. If he's funny bingo! And I just think that you shouldn't be thinking like 'all girls are the same'' because we're not and unless you keep trying to find those different girls, you'll never find out..

    • true, and while i say all girls i know its huge majority of them... but throwing logic aside i do treat each new girl i ask out as she's the first and i dont know how she's going to respond... once u actually start treating everyone the same, there is no point in looking anymore.

    • I know, I'm just saying.. :) Thank you

  • Some guys are intimidated with pretty girls. I would approach a pretty girl since I've been told by many females of different ages to be very handsome. I would only approach a pretty girl if she shows me she's interested in me by giving me constant eye contact and not constantly staring down on her phone. If a pretty girl looks mean or angry or shows she's not interested by playing hard to get, I get discouraged. We guys are visual by that I mean we read a females demeanor, facial expressions and body language. Although playing easy isn't ideal for any female but neither is playing hard to get. Like I've said I'm confident now because I'm older and I really do look good but when I was younger, I was the opposite to where girls had to approach me or have their friends tell me that they like me. Since I'm now confident I can approach a pretty girl but if she doesn't show me that's she's interested when she really is, then that shy boy resurfaces again.

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  • It's difficult sometimes since most girls are already in that "Oh here this guy comes trying to get some ass" mindset.

    That is only amplified with really attractive girls, so you have to get past that initial "defense mechanism" they have.

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  • I watch pretty girls pass by pretty much constantly (depending where I am) when I'm out and I will die a little inside every time I pass one. I just quietly seethe then go home and be sad/mad.

    Have you tried initiating things yourself?

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    • I tried with one guy friend that I liked. I told him that I like him, we kissed but he told me that he kissed me so I wouldn't be led on by him (he didn't want to, or he's lying). He also told me that he doesn't want a gf, so he kind of rejected me. And that was the last time I did that.. the first time also.. And for the guysI don't know, I just smile when I see someone I find attractive but that's it..

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    • May I ask why? Do you have a good reason?

      We have the right to have our own opinion, but it's not automatically valid and certainly not immune to criticism.

    • I'm not saying you're wrong, I respect your thoughts on this but I also have mine oppinion and if it's different from yours because I have my own reasons, doesn't mean that you're wrong or I'm right..

  • Let it go... Let it go... Can't hold back anymore @_@~

    On a more serious note, it usually just mean i'm busy or I think they're busy/with a group/doing something/not look approachable/etc

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  • this is easy most guys aren't confident or have no idea how to approach girls. most guys ask out girls they know its safer. also go to parties. there guys are braver

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  • I don't approach anyone but if they don't want to be single then they should start approaching guys

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  • We're not dogs that go "pussy! pussypussypussy! Iwantit!"

    We have other things on our minds. Sure, I might pass you in a bookstore or wherever, and you look hot. The odds that I'm thinking "chat up women" is low at the moment. I'm probably thinking about how my day's been, thinking about something I was just dealing with, mulling over how I want to find a book/movie, wondering which place to get lunch at, thinking about what work I have ahead of me, etc.

    You want to meet a guy, go say hi, smile. Perform inception and put the thought of asking girls out in someone's mind.

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    • Point is, we often are dealing with other things. When I'm not working, I feel happy to just get in a jog/watch a movie or some videogames. I don't have tons of free time to go wasting it on girls.

    • I know, I get it :) thanks for answering

  • I dont approach im too scared

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  • They use the phrase "find a bf" very loosely. Most girls (not all) dont do any "finding", they just sit their waiting to be approached, which is fine.

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  • I used to but I stopped. Apparently being caring or smart or funny isn't enough for a girl. Girl's deny it but looks really do matter and that's completely unfair bc it's not my fault. I'm be 18 in may and I've never even held hands with a girl

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  • As a former shy guy, I was litterally petrified to even consider talking to attractive women. I then realized these are the women who are getting hit on the least! Just because they're pretty doesn't mean they're mean or bitchy. Eventually you ladies will find men.

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  • I'm almost the textbook definition of boyfriend material, and I do make a move when I feel like I've gotten to know an attractive girl well enough. And the answer is always no.

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    • Well I don't know why that happens, but I'm sure you'll get the 'yes'.. Thanks :)

  • It's not all about looks... What else can they do?

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    • I said that I know that personality comes with it.. How do you mean what can they do?

    • Either something interesting stands out about their personality which makes me curious, or I just let them come to me. I don't approach girls based on just looks most of the time, because it's just it's just boring.

    • Oh, okay.. Well, thanks :)

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