So he moved to Melbourne about 2 years ago with his ex girlfriend. They were on and off for about 5 years and are still ''best friends'' which actually does my head in. I hate her and she still jumps at everything he asks her to do. Money, smokes, lifts, everything. I know she still loves him (although she has another boyfriend) but I know he doesn't love her. I think it's just because she's the only person that he really knows in Melbourne besides me. But I'm his girlfriend know… And I hate seeing another girl doing things for him. That's my job. Not hers, and she doesn't understand that and has no respect for me as his girlfriend. My boyfriend also doesn't see the issue with him being friends with her, but I always ask him how he would like it if I was contacting my exes asking them to do everything for me. He would hate it. So I don't know why they both think it's acceptable….. Now, the other night, I was staying at his house. We had a fight and in the middle of the night he said he was going for a walk. I woke up around 4am. Still gone… He said he was with his mate and I know he was back on the drugs that night. I went to sleep, woke up around 10:30am. Expecting him to be back. But no.. Still gone. I went home and I got a message saying we need a few days apart to figure out if we both want this. I clearly want this and will do everything and anything for him because I love him deeply. I don't know if this is a normal thing for guys to cope and they go into their little cave. But I have never experienced this before. It's not okay and I feel so stupid not being able to contact my own boyfriend. He's messaged me saying he loves me and he's okay. But this is fucked. HELP!!!
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1. He's a hypocrite. He has his own standards for himself (it's ok to contact exes and make them jump through hoops for him) but different and higher standards for you (it's not ok for you to contact exes because "he would hate it").
2. He loves the attention he's getting from his ex, obviously, since he has her wrapped around his finger and can get her to do anything he wants.
3. It wouldn't surprise me if he went to her after the fight.
4. He uses drugs... which is bad. Obviously.
5. He thinks it's ok to just disappear on you without saying where he's going or what he's doing, and for how long - that's not something you just do in a serious and committed relationship.
To sum it up, the guy sounds like a douche and I don't understand why you still consider him to be your boyfriend? You deserve more than this. Respect yourself.