Someone please tell me what to do?

My ex boyfriend dumped me. 4 months later he texted me saying how much he missed me. We started talking again. He would flirt a lot. He asked me to hangout after about 2 months of talking again. so I said yes. Then when we hungout, he kissed me. In person, he told me how much he missed me and how glad he was to have me in his life again. A week or so after we kissed, we had a talk and he said that he considers us back together. I agreed. Things were fine for a while, but then he randomly got distant. He stopped texting me first and we didn't talk for 5 days straight. I texted him asking why he had been distant. He claimed he wasn't being distant, but then the next day he texted me apologizing for drifting away from me. He told me I didn't deserve that. He also told me how happy I make him. Things were fine and we talked nonstop for 3 days. Then he started being distant again. Now it's been almost a week and I haven't heard a word from him. Why would he apologize, tell me I didn't deserve it, but then continue to do exactly what he apologized for? I don't understand him. I don't want things to end again. But I don't know what to do about him.. Someone please help me..


Most Helpful Girl

  • seems like he might not know what he wants, wait until he comes in contact with you and when he does be firm and let him know you're not into this distant-not distant game, because frankly you shouldn't wait around until he feels he wants to come be happy again, then leave when he's confused. stand your ground let him know what you want and if he's unsure move on, if he hasn't realized whether he wants to be with you by now then no use waiting around for him

    • Wouldn't he be annoyed considering I already told him that he was being distant?

    • no because you shouldn't approach it in the same manner as you did the first time. you're not there to ask him why he's being distant, you're simply telling him "you're on again of again distant behavior isn't something that i want to have to deal with, I don't know if you're confused with what you want but I'm not here to play games and wait around until you find out." you can't be afraid its going to drive him off for being firm with what you want. if he can't get the message and runs off then forget him, he was unsure anyway and why wait for someone like that?

    • Woah that's great I'll say that thank you so much!

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What Guys Said 1

  • You guys broke up, you were heartbroken, then got back together, but the fact you broke up remains. Everybody copes with heartbreak differently, one very common way is to get back together with an ex after a short period of time of being without them, but 9 times out of 10 they break up again. The feeling of loneliness after having someone is what drives people to get back together. I believe it to never be a good idea to get back with someone you just broke up with. Now if it were a period of a few years you were apart, then yes, because a lot can happen and a lot can change, people mature over time. 4 months is not enough time for a person to change, its only enough time for someone to reminisce in the good times you had and ignore the bad, then miss the person and want to be with them again, forgetting the reasons why you broke up in the first place and believe you resolved them, when in actuality, someone loses out in that resolution, usually the ones who initiated the break up or the one who comes back first. when they come back, they have to make a compromise on something, when really they are just trading off loneliness and settling for what they had before which they weren't happy with. In your case, he came back to you and he initiated the break up. conclusion, He's not happy, there was some reason he dumped you before that he is now settling over so he doesn't feel alone. The second he realizes he's unhappy and is unafraid of being alone, he's gonna dump you again.


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