What does a man mean when he says ' I think we should cool it for a while'

So, been seeing this guy for a while, had some amazing dates, really got on well, very comfortable with each other, he said he really fancied me, couldn't keep his hands off me. Sex was OK, he had a few issues but he came back for more and he said we would work round things together which I was fine with. He formally asked me out, I wasn't too bothered as was happy with a casual friendly thing. Every morning first thing would get a lovely message from him and through out the day. Were meant to go out last monday but he had caught my cold and didn't feel too well so we postponed, was still getting really nice messages, I asked if he needed anything and for me to go round and he said no he was ok. tues got the usual lovey dovey messages then weds got a text saying he didn't think he wanted to be in a relationship right now and we should cool things for a while. Now what does that mean, its over all together or at some point he will come crawling back, its the 'for awhile' part that's bugging me. he says its nothing I have done, its just where his head is at and he's sorry and that he does rush into things without thinking sometimes. Its just confusing as in 24 hours he totally changed, he was the one putting the pressure on, not me. Know he hates his birthday which is today but that's hardly a reason. thought he was totally different from other men as we got on so well as mates but when I sent him a happy birthday message he didn't even respond which is just rude. he seemed like such a decent guy when we were mates. Just so confused, its been a long time since he has been in a relationship so maybe he got spooked? Most of my mates think I will hear from again esp as he literally lives down the road but I don't know. Any opinions?

Oh another point, if he hated me that much why hasn't he deleted me off Facebook?
Thanks greeneyedgal, think you are right but its still driving me mad! Especially as I have to drive past his flat everyday, there are benefits to dating people who live far away! Am just angry now esp with him not responding to a friendly pleasant text!


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  • Yes, this happened to me as well. This is what I think happened, I concur that you didn't do anything wrong. I think everything was going very well with the relationship, meshing etc. However, I think he stepped back for a moment and started to think about things. He probably got scared of the progression of the relationship- emotionally, psychologically etc. so he is backing off a bit. It could be because it has been a long time since he had something like this with someone but he wound up hurt. The emotions that he has could be scaring him too if he has intimacy issues.

    For now, just give him some space to clear his head. Let him come to you. I know this will be difficult but I think the worse thing to do is be pushy in this case.

    Good luck.

    • I completely understand. The one I like lives down the road from where I work. I see him there and I want to stop and talk to him but I can't. It's extremely frustrating.