Is he afraid of his feelings, or is he really not interested?

When I met my closest guy friend, he told me that he wanted to let me know he had no interest in dating me. That's how we became friends, close friends at that. We spent a lot of time together, told each other things that we didn't tell anyone else, I was even told that I was not allowed to date any men, because he was afraid that he wouldn't have my undivided attention. One night, completely unplanned, we both got really drunk out at a bar and ended up sleeping together. Surprisingly, it did not affect our friendship in my mind, and he said he was fine. After that, we spent even more time together.

About a month later, we were out with our friends, and some of our guy friends were hitting on me. He said he didn't like it, that it stressed him out, and he doesn't like stress in his life. Since that moment, he has become a ghost in my life. He rarely speaks to me, and I hardly ever see him. I've called him on it, but he claims to have no idea what I'm talking about.

What's his deal?


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What Guys Said 1

  • He's either very protective for you or started have feeling for you(He might not even know until he realized what he's doing).

    When a guy see a girl they like flirt with someone else, he usually get upset, stress or depress(a form of jealousy) he said he don't want you to date any men, it could means he started to have some kind of feeling beyond friendship for you from that day(he might not know), the two of you was drunk and slept together he said he's fine but might still be a bit confused inside by it. After a month he disappear this could mean he started to found out he had feelings but like he said he have no interest in dating, so he want to stay away for a bit and try fix his feeling.

    The other reason could be he's a very protective and caring guy when it comes to you, he doesn't want other man to hurt you in any way so he don't want you to date anyone, and he could just be very busy lately.

    If you have feeling for him, you could tell him you feels and see how he acts now. Things can change when time passes, Not interested in dating 1 month ago doesn't mean he's not interested now.


What Girls Said 1

  • You left out a very important piece of information that I must know in order to best answer your question.

    When the other guy friends were hitting on you. How did you respond? Did you flirt back?

    • Well, we were all drinking, and I'm a very happy, huggy, everyone's my best friend, type of drunk. He did accuse me of flirting back, but I have no interest in those guys. I'm sure I was my huggy, happy self, though.

    • If he feels that the two of you were headed down a special path and then perceived you as being a "flirt", willing to do the same things with other men, then THAT may have been the turning point and NOT the intimacy.

      The one thing that we women have completely backwards is that we flirt for lots of reasons. Use caution when doing this if there's a guy you like in the picture. He will be confused by this and think you're just like that with everyone and he's not special. Does that help?

    • Yes, I definitely see what you're saying. Thanks!

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