I need some advice or anything?

There's this guy that I treated pretty shitty in the past, and it's been 5 years and it's still very awkward. I told him I liked him and he didn't say anything. We were very close and ever since that and I pretty much wrecked that friendship we had just because I had a crush on him in elementary school (Keep in mind this was when I was younger so no one really back then knew how to react to this). I was really mean and bitchy to him for a year in elementary school and I'm still cringing over what I did. For YEARS I've been wanting to apologize, I've writtin a few letters that I could give him to express my feelings. So earlier this week he just started to talk to me out of the blue. He was soo kind to me and I still feel like an ass for treating him that way. The weird thing was he never left eye contact while we were talking. And me being the jerk that I am was extremely uncomfortable because we never talked for years and avoided each other. When I got home, I started to cry and is still have no idea why. I really want to apologize some time this week but I don't want to bomb him with this out of the blue. And I still really don't know what I should do or if I should even bombard him with those emotions.
I need some advice or anything?
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