Is he interested and just shy, or is he just a friend who was busy?

I know it's not much to go on, but me and this guy have been friends for a while and I think we're both pretty shy. So anyway I feel like he's interested sometimes and other times I'm not so sure. It seems like he is though and others agree he is. As for me I feel like sometimes I'm being obvious then other times I feel like I'm too subtle, because everything I do could be interpreted as me just being friendly. It's really confusing. So I went out of my comfort zone here and asked to hang out.

So I sent him a fb message asking to hang out. I mentioned that I was asking this way because I didn't have his number and I felt like there was never a chance to ask in person. So I mentioned that we talk at school but never hang out and that we should, and suggested Sunday since I was free that day. However all he said was "I would like to, but I'm going to ____ on sunday.." Something like that, but I took out the place for security. It was out of town basically.

My question is, if they were interested and were busy wouldn't they ask for another time to hang out? Or be like here's my number, I'll text you when I'm free? But being just a friend he wouldn't suggest another time? All he said was he would like to but was busy. Is that an easy way to reject me? Be honest guys, because I'll seriously give up if he's just too nice to say flat out he doesn't like me. (And yes I realize I'm probably way over analyzing this.)



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What Guys Said 1

  • In all likelihood, he just had something else to do that day and is too shy to try to give you anything to work with. Try directly asking for his number or something of the sort, and then texting him when you'd like to hang out. There are a lot of guys like this, believe it or not. It doesn't mean we aren't interested, but so afraid of rejection that we're scared to try to instigate anything.

    • Yeah I figure he really was busy, he's a busy person. I just figured I made it obvious I wouldn't reject him if he wanted to do something. Are some guys really that scared? But thanks. I've been trying to give him my number but I want to be discreet and not seem desperate and there have been perfect opportunities but we get interrupted before I can ask.

What Girls Said 1

  • gee, sorry you haven't received any answers...but from what I gather, heard, read, and experienced...if a guy is interested and he has the "means" to feel confident enough to ask you out, then he will.

    What I mean by "means" is, if he has a job/spending money, car/comfortable without a car, using public transportation.

    Also, if he asks you how your weekend is/was, what are your plans for the weekend, stuff like that...

    I mean, if he wants to know what you do outside of school then he's interested.

    Otherwise, just leave it be, go out and live your own life and don't give him more thinking time than he deserves.

    Take Care :-)

    • Thanks! He doesn't really ask much, usually just small questions about things but never really what I'm doing. He's asked where I was going to college several times before though. Even once when I was wearing my hoodie.

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    • ...I really don't know, but tomorrow is our last day of school so I think either something happens or I'll probably never see much of him since he's either busy or just not into hanging out. Hm :/ Even if he's shy he could make more of an effort than just pestering me every day for fun. Or maybe I was right before and we are just good friends?

    • What's the worse that could happen? If you give him your number and he doesn't text/call, then you'll know. It's just your number, you're not asking him to marry you, hahaha. And, I guess what matters is, if you will regret it more by not giving him your number and wonder years later, "what if? what if?"