I don't want to be in my brother's wedding?

should I tell him? Am I wrong for not wanting to be in the wedding? I told him I would but I really don't want to.

Also, I have a second brother, when its his turn do I just say no from the start?

I really don't like being a part of wedding and I don't know if he would take offense because I was in my sister wedding but that was my first one. I would rather just sit in the audience for weddings , much simpler.


Most Helpful Girl

  • No, I disagree with the other posters. That is the point of ASKING someone because there could be one of two answers and not all of the time will it be "yes". I am sure it's a little different for guys because the groomsmen don't really have to do much. But for females, there is a lot. The bride would expect her girls to actually help run errands and plan the many events leading up to the wedding and it's actually taking on responsibility and if a female honestly did not feel like being a part of all of that, that is her decision. There is also an expense that comes along with it that not everyone can afford. If you are not the best man or one of the groomsmen, you would not be wearing a tux, just a suit (unless it's a really formal black tie affair-which I doubt because most weddings aren't). It should not reflect on your friendship or your "brotherly bond". I really would not want to be a bridesmaid to either my sister or my friends. Not because I don't love them or wish them the best, but because it's not my personality to do all that. I am much more a spectator. Standing on the altar with you does not mean I support you any more or any less than sitting witht the guests. I also don't plan to have a bridal party for my wedding. It's my wedding and if I want it to be an "event" then I will take care of planning it or hire someone to do so. People tend to use their friends and family for free labor and I personally don't feel that's what a wedding day should be about. If I invite you it's because I want you to have a good time not do the grunt work for me. I don't think you're selfish. If your brother was any type of brother he'd understand your personality and not take it as a personal attack that you would rather be a spectator. I personally would not want anyone in my family or life to do anything they did not want to do. How happy am I gonna be when I look at your face and you are acting like you don't want to be there? If you want to volunteer to help, that's one thing, but people always feel obligatetd to help for the same reasons the other two posters put and I think it's pointless and mean. But that's my view...


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • That's pretty selfish to not want to be a part of your brothers wedding. You should be supporting him, unless you have a very good reason you don't want to be a part of it. I don't see the problem, the only difference if you weren't in the wedding is you would be sitting during the ceremony instead of standing with all the other groomsmen. Stop being a baby.

    • I support his marriage and everything but I would rather just be in the audience instead. Is that still selfish? I don't like dealing with the standards of the bride and groom. A lot of pressure to do EXACTLY what they like. In addition I don't like the cost.

    • You are going to be wearing a tux anyways? And it's not costing you anything to be standing up there. Yes I think it is selfish to turn down your brother. He wants you to be there by his side when he gets married. Stop acting like it's such a big inconvenience for you, it's not.

  • The wedding isn't about you its about your brother and his future wife. You should be in the wedding for him and put your own feelings aside.