Its been almost two years since me and my last boyfriend broke up. We were together for three years. He is the father of my son. This guy never actually cheated on me but I caught him talking to girls online. and he was an alcoholic. Things were great at first when or son wasn't born. this guy seemed as though he really loved me and cared. He was there on the drop of a dime when I needed him. But somehow it went down hill and ended horribly ugly. I just want to know why do I still miss him? I try to remember the reasons that we broke up. but I can't help but feel that I still love him. I wish I could even kiss him sometimes. And its doesn't help that I always have to see him when he comes or I drop off my son. I just don't know what to do. I mean how long will this feeling haunt me? Honestly I really think I still do love him. I keep thinking that threw all his defaults there is pain in him. There's a reason why he is the way he is. But I know somewhere deep down he is a very sensitive loving man.I can't help but sit outside at night sometimes and miss him and our memories. Why can't I just let him go?