How do you get into a guarded man's heart? (Page 2)
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The best advice I can give is this: patients.
Just be patient and he will talk. Don't force him because he will just back away, guys don't talk under force, you have to let them do it first.
It will help if you gain his trust and not break it. He will feel more secure if he knows that he can trust you and you are not going to tell your friends things that he has confided in you.
Again, patients is key to a guarded guy.
several different ways
1. patience
2. dont push it, give some breathing room
3. be yourself and nothing but... a lot girls/women think men are stupid or they are not knowing. just like women have that little sensory gift, they or we can tell when your being fake.
1) the most important... honesty and loyalty...
reason being a man has a wall up is because he's been violated, everything shattered, heart, mind stripped. possibly abused
its not necessary to guard a man heart coz its always upto a man if he will stay to you forever. coz even if you did your best to show how much you love him, care, treasured and loyal their always a tendency that some man will try to look on other woman despite of your efforts... so its still up to your partner whether he will love you for the rest of your life or hurt you and leave.
You get into his heart be being a loyal friend who will never abandon him. By being someone who will love him no matter what happens. You want to get into a guarded man's heart? Don't give him a reason to guard it when you're around, and be willing to talk to him about any and everything. You get into a guarded man's heart the same way you get into a guarded woman's heart, though perhaps with a bit more time and effort.
Honestly your energy. We all have feeling but how does he feel you, how do you feel him? Do you feel like you can be weird around him and does he feel the same? Do you have a story , do you have insecurities because some people will trade painful experiences? How open are you to life and things you are not accustomed to? If he/she feels like you are truly open then the wall of insecurities will open gradually. Remember they might feel worthless but if you value them and they feel it you will have no wall through which he won't take down to love you with endlessly. Rhetorical Questions.
By getting inside and stimulating his mind.
If he doesn't surrender his heart and mind to you, then he won't be able to emotionally connect. If he isn't into you then he will never surrender his heart and mind.
If he is guarding his heart with you or holding back something, then I'm not sure if there is a match.
Are you and he going out?
Definitely DON'T PRY. Guys are super protective and secretive of their emotions, it's how we have mostly been taught to be by our parents and peers. If you want to get to know him on a deeper level just show an interest in what he says and be supportive, but don't try to break that "wall" down when he has defenses behind it lol.
First you'd better make sure he's worth it because, if its anything like a guarded women's heart, you might want in. I couldn't close this women's heart quick enough. It totally destroyed our once unbreakable friendship and turned it into a memory. I ain't trying to scare you, but adhere to the statement "you're not his therapist". I wasn't " HERS".
Don't force anything, it takes time to earn trust and comfort. He will open up on his own time. Until then, just remind him every now and then that you're there for him. Patience, understanding, and trust are key.
I don't think you directly fall in love or be in a relationship if ur had a heartbreak recently because as u said u make walls around yourself prevent it again... But if u genuinely like him then be a part of his life and by part I mean u should be a person to him who he is comfortable to be with you alone without faking his emotions then may be you both can have a chance for a future
From past experience, these men tend to be quite sensitive. So make sure you are always there for them, and show genuine concern for their wellbeing, even if it feels like they do not appreciate it sometimes. He most likely will, just doesn't know how to express that very well :) one of my friends is like this.
Depends on why he's guarded. Most likely he's been hurt in some way so you gotta communicate to him that you won't hurt him, that he can trust you with anything and you won't overreact, that you'll be there for him and stay by him. You have to actually show this as well. Words don't mean shit unless you actually back it up with actions. Then he'll slowly let his guard down if he feels any sort of attraction towards you.
Be sufficiently different. Like lets pretend most women act like cunts if you leave the toilet seat up. Don't be like that. You have to show you aren't going to do the same shitty things that have been done to him in the past. The toilet seat is an easy example but feel free to focus only on that and ignore my point entirely, it's the internet afterall!
No easy way u have to be loving and consistent and trustworthy and u also need to see progress from him!
You really have to get to know him. & I mean really get to know him. Listen when you asked your question did you mean in genaral? As in he doesn't open up to anyone? Or is it women he don't open up to? If it's women then there is your answer he's been hurt by a woman or women...
I'd say just be you, and be human, and understand pain. Also, don't be all up that guy demanding attention. Just be kind, be helpful at times, and be there when you feel like being there, don't do it to get his repsect. Also maybe once in a while when mature enough just tell him you like him and yo feelings but tell him that he too thick skinned that you don't know if it is worth being around with, you just want to give it a chance to know him cause you like him a lot.
for me : you have to spend a lot of time with me. more than 8 months at least, in person. because i have a lot of trust issues, and i dont hangout with anyone, i prefer my own company more than everyone, so if you want to get to my heart, your must be better than my own company.
I don't mean to be rude or cruel - I know nothing about anon OP, but how do you know he just isn't into you? Maybe you aren't his type, or you're not the one to tempt him out of his cave?
I agree with the ladies who suggest cooking him an amazing meal. We men, our food is all practical. We appreciate these things.
You won't be able to, not for long anyway. If you enjoy Cat and mouse scenarios then by all means...
Considering that there are surely many avaliable men out there, the question should be why are you going for a guarded man?
It's possible you have a subconscious fear of intimacy, and this guarded man provided you with the perfect excuse not to have to deal with it...
You don't. He's a fixer upper or he's playing you. Either way, long term, he won't be a good mate in any measure. If he's triving on your pitty he's sociopathic or if he would " just be the real person " you see inside, he's a narcissist. He needs a professional and shouldn't even be dating if he's struggling like that.