Are bad guys "bad" just because they have never experienced true love?

I have a theory...
I've met lots of tough guys and I've met sensitive and sweet ones too.
The ones who were tough and hard to open up and acted like "bad" boys usually have had bad experience with women in past,
while the ones who were sweet and sensitive used to have ended their relationship on a good term and still had feelings for the female figure from the past.
So what are your thoughts on this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No, "bad boys" are bad because they don't give a fuck about anyone but themselves. They do what they want at any given time, and they DO NOT CARE what anyone else thinks or who else might be hurt by it.

    Many (mostly younger, less emotionally mature) women find Bad Boys exciting... BECAUSE they're dangerous. But that dangerous behavior is going to negatively affect those women sooner or later, and sometimes in terrible and permanent ways.

    But, ladies, do NOT think you can "fix" this - you can't and you won't. Bad Boys are bad, and sooner or later, you'll be the recipient of his bad behavior. He's not going to change, and he honestly doesn't care about you.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sometimes 'bad' guys have become like that because they used to be the 'good' guy and got fucked over too many times

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 330

  • Interesting since I'm both.

    To use myself as part of this study:

    I'm sensitive and have feelings for past people yet usually had only bad experiences as well as being almost impossible to crack (I almost never share my feelings, I just agree most of the time because vulnerability seems to scare people off)

    I honestly don't know what that makes me, a genuine ass or a genuine nice person or a bipolar dumbledore.

    Looking at other's opinions, I've come to the conclusion from girls' opinions that perhaps I'm like a one-way mirror. I know how to love, I've just never felt it towards me. "The tough guys I've met have never been loved. They didn't know what it was."

    Looking at the guy's opinions however, I'd put together that they'd say I'm more actually the opposite of what women say. I'd be the guy who gets everything and gives nothing in return. "sounds more like a fantasy many women have. The bad boy that just needs someone to love him and show him the way."

    As far as I know, your theory seems pretty good so far with people like me being exceptions to it.

    I only know guys who fit these "criteria" of your theory.

    Continuing off, I more or less act tough. If I plant onto the concrete ground, I let out nothing more than a shrug. I do what I need to do, and get favors done cold, no "you're welcome". This scares some people while others see it as either "chill" or tough. When I start showing my true self, being sensitive, vulnerable and whatnot, it at first would be "cute" and then followed by running away. If I retaliate with withdrawal (sitting by myself in isolation), it draws in girls to check up on me and seek my attention while guys would rather stay away. Acting bored makes me interesting, but showing interest back, now that's a turn off.

    This however is bad, because it just reinforces depression by the thought "having emotions is bad". He's a bad guy because he can actually feel something.

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    • I found what you said very interesting, as it almost perfectly describes myself and my experience with people. It's nice to see I'm not alone. Take it easy my man

    • @cuddles_mcgee
      It's reassuring to know I'm not alone. You too

  • No I do not think that at all. I'll even go so far as to say, if you think that bad guys are bad because they have never experienced true love, then you're setting yourself up to be that woman who thinks, "If I just love this guy enough then he will change." Which will end in failure, time wasted, resentment, and heart break.

    There are plenty of sweet and sensitive guys who are tough to open up. A bad guy is typically a bad guy because he doesn't care what you think, and is going to do what he wants to do. He's probably less likely to have had a bad experience, and will just write it off as that chick is crazy.

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    • trust, most of my mates that are "bad" aren't bad they just couldn't care less, they're in it for themselves, trying to get a beat or have a girl on their arm and they don't actually care too much what the girl thinks or feels like. Which is pretty shitty tbh

    • Show All
    • I know... I am not attracted to bad boys so I am not scared of being hurt by them. I have a brother he would always tell me so bad things about men that I hardly even trust anyone but him.
      I actually like sweet and nice guys. For some reason.

    • Well all guys are bad. From my experience, the sweet and nice ones are just duplicitous. I'm a good guy. But I'm also upfront about what I want. Which sometimes makes me not such a good guy... depending on your point of view.

  • Understand this now young lady and save yourself about a decade of heartbreak and drama.
    You cannot ‘fix’ a bad boy.
    Naive women have been trying to do that since we came down from the trees.
    Find a good man. Treat him well, have his babies and stay with him.
    You will have a good life.
    Leave the bad boys alone.
    Most women do not have that blinding flash of the obvious until they are about 30, after they have wasted their years of greatest sexual market value on ‘exciting’ bad boys.

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  • I've always thought that if a lad is acting like a tough guy, it's usually because of an attitude problem.
    People who have been hardened by nasty experiences (such as myself) usually turn into closed and defensive arseholes, and shun society.
    They don't walk around with their shirt off smoking, like the stereotype in your picture here.
    "Hard men" are glamourised by movies and TV. Some lads aspire to that ideology, that smoking tags, being arrogant and treating women like crap is somehow attractive.

    In reality, "bad boys" just haven't grown up and discovered their self-identity yet.

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  • Nah. I had real bad experiences in love & I never took it out on women or was a dick to women at all.

    I think it’s more likely:
    A.) some guys are just born to act like a-holes. Drug abuse just magnifies their existing personality. Seen this.
    B.) when he was young he only saw guys act like he acts now & it’s normal to him. But not every guy raised like that turns out acting the same

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  • I don't think it has much at all to do with women.

    I think that the environment that someone grew up in, as well as the treatment they got when they were raised mixed with their personal beliefs. An impoverished person with extremely strict parents is likely to be more aggressive or closed off in the future, versus someone well off with a loving family and a stable ride into things like college. Additionally, someone can have all the money and love in the world but if they're a selfish, hateful person then they'll act that way.

    In the end, I think by the time that guys start to date girls, their personalities have already been shaped, whether "bad" or "good". I think the reason that the "sweet and sensitive" guys had good relationships with girls and stayed friends after is BECAUSE they were sweet and sensitive to begin with. The "bad" guys have had awful relationships because they were already dicks to begin with.

    Sure, for some people, I guess a very sour relationship COULD make someone hesitant to date again, but for the most part I don't believe this is the case. For most people, even after a ridiculously harsh breakup, people rebound just a few months later and get back into it. There are few people who are really thrown out of the game by a breakup, with the exception of maybe abusive relationships.

    Other than that, I stand firm in my above comments. A guys personality and willingness to "open up" is decided well before he starts dating and isn't significantly changed by a good or bad relationship.

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  • It's probably true sometimes, but you have the classic chicken or the egg problem. Did he break up with her on bad terms BECAUSE he was bad, or did the bad break-up make him bad?

    The truth is, hard as it can be to grasp, there really are just "bad boys - and girls" out there. We like to think that everyone is - deep down - sweet and honest - but that is hopelessly romantic.

    As the old saying goes, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

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  • Its a defense mechanism. If you show a woman you truly care for her, you make yourself vulnerable in the process. When you make yourself vulnerable you can be hurt. Its a preemptive strike of sorts. Hurt the woman before she can hurt you. Don't show emotion. Its not a fun life, and if one suffering from this complex is smart they'll learn to grow and open up as this is the only way to be truly happy and fulfilled.

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  • This thread has caught my attention. Ok I've been told I'm one of these bad boys, or I'm edgy or have an edge. This is from people who know me. Also my wife daughter and mother. People don't tend to mess with me but if they do o deal with it head on. I had a wonderful upbringing with a good education and loving parents. Had a few issues with my dad but we're on great terms and I jave no anger towards him. My parents are still together and I was raised in the military. When younger I was mischievous. There were fights, police issues, permiscuity parties, light drug use racing cars crashing them etc etc I've had a colorful past. Iv also been management my entire working career where applicable. A boy scout, in the forces, I run my own company. I jave three wonderful children that behave better than I have so far. I'm Loving caring and quite sensitive despite not really showing it or trying nor to show it. The people I truly love are the centre of my world and I'm terribly vulnerable to them as I have recently been reminded. I still feel I'm a valid person. I'm capable of and carry out many of the things people praise and admire. I'm also capable of the other less desirable qualities. I can be viscous and aggressive. Generally when provoked but jave in the past used ot to get what I needed. But I've also been generous patient and kind. But I'm always told I'm one of these bad boys. I don't always see it but I het told it. The easiest way for me to describe how I feel about it is I'm not afraid. Not afraid to fail. Not afraid to try. And not afraid to live with not always being perfect. I can however live with the knowledge of what wonders and depravity I'd be capable of if someone or thing threatened the special people in my life. That said I try to be honest with myself and aspire to be the best person I can be for myself and the people I love.

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  • I love you!!! You have it exactly. Even my wife after 30 years of abuse from her, I am still working on trying to have good terms. My previous girlfriends WOW, they knew how to love me and I still feel the same way toward them.

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  • they're bad because they mostly had a difficult relationship which ended in breaking them up. You see when you get hurt from something you think a lot before approaching it again. It's hard for a guy who had a bad relationship to be nice , witty and easy to open up. From my pov If you meet that kind of guy and you feel like you want to know him, be patient around him and try to take first steps towards him you'll be amazed at how he will react. This kinds of guys is the kind that gets very loyfull and honest.

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  • No, MGTOWs go their own way because they've never experienced true love, and have given up on any hopes of it being possible for them to do so. That results in bitterness. Bad guys, for the most part, are those who are largely indifferent and apathetic about love, and being loved. True, this can be a response to bad experiences with women, a conscious decision by a guy to deliberately stop caring about girls and about feelings as a defence mechanism. But more often, 'bad guys' are simply those guys who have less compassion and empathy- sometimes, none at all of either- and who never really gave a fuck about anyone besides themselves to begin with.

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  • No.

    However this is a very popular view among women who repeatedly date abusive assholes while being convinced if they just try harder he will turn sweet.

    You will find some guys in their 20s who didn’t have success and turn into players. They won’t stop until the void in their self esteem is filled in by a -lot- of women.

    Guys who are “bad” just tend to be selfish, narcissist risk takers. Which incidentally are all traits that seem to attract women from what I’ve seen of psych studies.

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  • no they're just different personalities, in everyday life you get tough guys and not so tough guys same with women, doesn't make them bad, unless you're actually talking about criminals?

    a lot of females want a "manly" man and guys want a "womanly" woman.

    tougher people are just not as sensitive hence the "bad" stereotype, you just have to accept them for them.

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  • I think ur probably right but it goes deeper than that. Bad Boys are brought up with that parents that have struggled and always yelled at the kid for nothing always blame the kid for whatever is going on in their lives so he gets an attitude and every day that he gets yelled at. He thinks it learns that's the way of life so in order to get what he wants because that's what he was taught he yelled screams and acts bad basically because he knows no better,.,. Then you have the boys that have everything, get everything, grows up in the same type of environment and doesn't know that meaning of learning anything it just handed to him all the time and as he gets older he's not getting any more so he has to find a way to keep those things come in to have the status did he grew up with so he becomes bad and starts taking from others., and then you have the boy who grows up in a happy household the parents always arguing then parents get divorced and the boy gets pulled from mother to father mother to father but at a young age has to become the man of the family who is pissed off and becomes a bad boy it still feels that love and compassion from the mother and his other family in his life, and uncles grandparents you show him a nurturing way so even though he's a bad boy he also feels compassion and learns to find the meaning of love and passion at the same time as being bad time and a place for everything and then you have the good boy just brought up a very peaceful come home. No arguing who's top right from wrong who is discipline who learns to make choices and commitments learn to love and compassion through his pets, sisters brothers Boy Scouts grandparents Aunts Uncles. I think it's just the luck of the draw but more than likely you're right it all depends on how your brought up and what you're taught at an early age I still watch people today yell at their kids to get what they want and then I see the kids as they get older doing the same thing

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  • Who's to say they never experienced true love? my thought from just reading the title.

    Okay, just read the content and I'm left questioning just as you are. This is a good question after all, so instead of doing my usual trolling... I'll ponder this one.

    I'm getting stuck on what defines a "bad boy" as compared to a "good boy." If we differentiate on that understanding I will end up arguing a point far different from what you meant.

    Anecdotal it is for the moment then... I'm tough and hard, but I can end up crying at movies. I mean shit... I've literally killed people and done plenty of bloodthirsty things in and out of the military. I've claimed the title of "gangster" many times in my life. Yet... a rape scene of some chick has me empathetic enough to break down in tears. Trust me, I have too many memories of all the women I'm with asking me why I'm crying at a tear jerking movie. I fucking hate it.

    But I can slice a man's throat in front of his wife and kids and then dispose of all of them in a fire... because that's work. It's not good... but salesman learn to manipulate people to get what they want and nobody bitches about that either.

    Good and bad have far greater meanings than normies have for it... how about alpha and beta? Yeah... beta males use deception and a lot of "I care" methods in order to improve their mating success. The rest of us... we lift weights, shoot guns, study argument as if we're going to be politicians for some reason, and we end up with waaaaaay more pussy but waaaaaay less deep and meaningful relationships.

    I'm kinda on both sides of the fence since I've live harsh lives on both sides. Good or bad boys really have to exist since different women need different men. Feminists may hate me for saying that... but, yeah, women need men. We can change, you know that, and we also have feelings. We just also can shut our minds off when it comes time for violence... ether against us our to another.

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    • My dad is exactly like that, he's very tough and has gone through many hardships, fights, killing and all but he cries when he watches an emotional episode of the movie and he can simply get teary eyes when I hug him after having argument with him.

      I have some guy friends who are seen as bad boys and yet they are really good It's just if you give them the right to show it.

      However, I admire sweet and nice guys. It's just that I always feel like I am missing something that they are not totally honest with me because you are a human. You can't be labeled as bad or good because you are both.

      I feel like sweet guys are the ones who really loved in past, who value women because they've seen and got how we can love them and "bad" guys? If we take my friend as an example, they do not trust people because they've seen bad things happening to the ones who trusted. They are kind of afraid of being hurt or dissapointed or I don't know, because they have never been loved deeply enough.

    • Just my assumptions.

    • You could be right... I just don't want to admit it. I feel so much... I'm just not a foot kissing type of guy. I'm exactly like your Dad in the way you described him. If bitch tit males are indeed better... then females will simply breed us out. BUT, it certainly appears like women prefer to have kids by guys like us for a reason.

      I mean seriously... whos on birth control and with those kunty dudes... the're doing it for sex alone yet want no kids by that boy.

  • Its education, more than experience with loving women or true love.
    It actually has nothing to do with women, since I have lots of "bad" friends, and good women were always all over them. They kept being bad guys... Since these "loving" women just produce and supply the right conditions/platform for these guys to stay assholes.

    Talking from self experience and dozens others of those surrounding me.
    What eventually changing you (them/us) is the fact you grow up and understand that you were a total idiot.
    This enlightenment is really amazing, since it lets you balancing between the "bad guy" you were and still in you.. And the wisdom you've acquired with time that shows the real good in you.

    Conclusion: know yourself, and everything with the right measurement/estimation.
    Too much of bad guy.. won't work with women for long terms relationships, and being too good.. Will definitely not work (at least not with the majority).

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  • I wouldn't call it ''bad'' , in my case i call it attitude. I've seen war as a kid and as a soldier, that's where my attitude comes from but it's not on all the time. Other wise i am very kind and sweet (diabetic so duh). Just like a lion, all calm and cuddle so cute to watch and how they love/fear the lioness and out of sudden they become a dangerous beast that no one wants to come near to it. It has nothing to do with relationships in my opinion.

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  • I think you have it the wrong way around lol, bad guys get far more love than sweet sensitive guys. They just choose not to indulge in it, they don't need it in their lives (well until getting older usually).

    Sweet sensitive guys do because they are grateful for anything/anyone they can get.

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  • Trust me on this. Not experiencing true love only makes you more appreciative for when it does come.

    Bad guys become bad due to many factors, depending on childhood since that is when children are mostly likely to grow traits which distinct them becoming bad or good.

    40% of the time it'll be from personal relationships the guy has had.

    I know a friend who robs, smokes weed, gets probation monthly, the usual. He became a bad guy because of the people in his life and his environment.

    His mum didn't care much about him, left him in Portugal throughout his childhood whilst he hanged out with gangs.

    But that's just a pure example, like I said many factors come into play.

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  • That's a dangerous assumption to make. There are countless other reasons people can be 'bad', as it's not all to do with sex and relationships.

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    • Yapp, the guy's right, don'z fall for I'm an ashole but i mean it well i'ts not my fault.
      Some may use shitty experiances as am excuse baut that's whar "bad" guys do.
      I've had enough shitty experiences to fill a south American telenovela but It is still on me how I deal with it, for me becoming "bad" is not an option and I strongly recommend avoiding Those who consider it one.
      If those never experienced true love i'ts because they would neither recognise nor apreciate it apropriatly even if you rubbed yours in their faves or lower body parts.
      Sorry for the long text and typos, the dude here's totally right and I wanted to emphasize this.

  • There are some guys who are still nice even though they have had bad experiences with girls. It's really hard to gauge as everyone is different and we all have our reasons for the way we are. From my personal experience, all the guys with a bad boy personality, typically have had issues at home at some point in there life, and there are guys who pretend to be a bad boy because they know that some girls are into that kind of guy. It's a good theory but I think there is more to it than just that

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  • Bad guys are bad cause tgey choose to be that way. No reason to theorize really. Its like putting on a front, why? The way they think and results they got from it. true love have 0 in the factor cause that reason be applied to anything. Bad guy is a state of mind, regardless of the reason.

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  • My "Bad Boy-Ness" is not due on part of finding true love. But an accumulation of bad experiences which have left me cold, hard, and cynical. So in a way you're right. I have no doubt there's a part of me left that is stull sensitive. But I not longer have conscious access to those parts of my personality.

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  • It's true that most people are molded by their experiences. You can see this in the way children resemble their parents when they grow up, how they seek partners most similar to what they grew up with. BUT I highly disagree with this true love label you're using. For the record, that's advertising bullshit advanced by Disney and pop culture. Love is love, and it's often built up over a long time, where both members put in the time and effort to keep a relationship fresh and interesting. You will not be "the one" to redeem the bad boy and show him what "True Love™" is, and you will not have an easy fairytale ending. It can happen, but it takes much more work than you think. You will see what I mean with time.

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  • Some just do it as a front to get girls.

    As far as those who aren't just acting, no, it isn't just because they've never experienced love or a good relationship. I've known quite a few bad guys who had girls who loved them and would have married them. My sister pined over one for years. He was military, a braggart and liar, and he was playing several women. My sister gave him everything and even traveled halfway across the continent to see him (because he couldn't be bothered to come see her), and she would gladly have married him. But that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted an ego boost. He wanted to feel like the big shot he bragged about being, and he actively avoided being tied into a committed relationship. He was entirely self-consumed and self-serving. He didn't *want* love or a relationship. He didn't want to change. He wanted to feel like he was the center of everything, and that's exactly the way he lived.

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  • bad in what degree? because some men pretends to be a hard nut to crack just because of the sour relationships they had in the past. they just dont want to get their feelings hurt again that's why their first defense that comes to their mind will be to be "bad" but deep inside some of them are not. if women can only find the right words to say, some of them would just crumble and get emotional.

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  • Let me guess you're one of those girls that think they can win his love and change him... don't bad guys are bad cause they don't give a shit and live for themselves and their own rules. Love a guy for what he is not for what you think you can make him be... it's not gonna happen.

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    • I agree you should not try to change him you should be the girlfriend who is a b**** because your boyfriend's an a****** that makes it good fit

    • How does that qote go i just want someone to love me for the ass that i am.

  • You harvest the garden you care for. A major red flag is having problematic relationships with their ex's. You're only getting 1 side of the story and not how the guy was shitty. Being emotionally unavailable is another red flag of someone who isn't capable emotional intimacy because they do not open up.

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  • You are prolly right about past exp. I guess the context of "badboy" im this thread is a man rather being shallow. I decided id jst choose shallow path after ending good relationships. U see hurting someone hurts you jst as much. So back to the point it may be girls who hurt em but its jst mechanism of self protection shallowness does not put much meaning thus less emotional tax.

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  • More from Guys
    300

What Girls Said 89

  • I honestly think some bad guys aren't actually "bad" they just might have gotten involved with the wrong kinds of females that have that trait portraying in them and it'll show but that all depends, then again other guys could have been growing up differently therefore having everyone look at them like it's because they never experienced true love when really they're just holding in past emotions and scenarios they've seen happen right in front of their eyes. Then there's those kinds of guy who portray themselves in that way near a female they wanna impress, I mean I'm pretty sure that's a no brainer.

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  • Most bad guys I’ve met are the ones who have been played by girls before. That, or they have a low self esteem. The only way to get approval and feel that they’d fit in is through female company (in their minds).

    This is true to most “bad boys” or jerks out there. Most won’t admit it obviously, because their egos are also fragile, and they’d rather not show their weaknesses for that same reason.

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    • Also- to the people who think that is the reason why women date bad guys, you’re making a fallacy right there. Firstly women aren’t attracted to assholes per se; they however might be attracted to assholes who pretend to be good guys at first. The goodness is what attracts us and not the “slip of the mask.” But what holds true is that most assholes HAVE been through some abuse, and HAVE turned out to be the way they are due to past experiences.

      No one suddenly wakes up one day and automatically becomes an asshole.

  • this may not be true to every "bad" boy out there but my ex boyfriend was a bad boy. he had a harsh upbringing with his mother divorcing his father and his other ex girlfriend was two timing him a lot. it was really hard to get him to open up that it almost got to the point where i gave up on him. but i didn't because i was the only one who could see who he truly was on the inside. bad boys act tough because they don't want people to see how soft they really are. this isn't true for every bad boy out there but it was for my ex. unfortunately we broke up due to personal problems but, nonetheless, he was actually a really sweet guy with a heart of gold

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  • I've met some guys who were really mean to me, it's usually hard to talk with hem but they get me more curious than others, I want to know why they are like that and with a guy kind of "friend" he confided me (while still being rude at me) he had bad experience from the past, he is still being mean to me and he seems like he is playing games with me because one of his friends is asking me things that seem for his interest...
    Anyway yeah some guys are a little like "lost" and maybe they give up a little with love, anyway it's nice to get to know them and their reasons, just sometimes it can be a little risky if they are aggressive...

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  • No. Many bad boys as I have stated plenty of times before are not really 'BAD BOYS' they're misunderstood. It has nothing to do with 'never experienced true love'. It has everything to do with their mindset, how they were treated and thought growing up. I know mostly because my close friend had an ex who was a 'bad boy'. Was in a gang, but played with girls hearts because that's all he knew, but he also did it out of habit. He had a lot of problems. Mentally, emotionally, psychologically. They often do whatever they want because it's what's available to them.

    Your theory sadly is too much of a generalization. That requires more depth. It's good, but not good enough. I will overall explain again, why. The issue has a lot to do with people labeling them as such. Their heartbreakers. They have lack of control of these things, that requires for them to be in professional counseling, and their will to change on their own. No girl can change who he is. He can be influenced but that is not enough. It also depends on his environment. Sometimes a change of environment is good for that person. Again, I know from my friends's ex.

    He went to Cali and ended up dating a chick while leaving my friend hanging, not only cheating on her but also informally dumped her. 3 times. They have deep-seated issues that nobody can penetrate except by God himself. And you're wise not to get involved. Or else you're going to be his next victim. For them, they are like drug addicts. You try to get them to rehab, and it works for a while, and they right back in. In reality, they aren't strong. They're weak. They need serious help. But if they personally don't want to change and stick to self-discipline, they'll relapse.

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  • You have it right. j
    For the vast majority of hardened boys, they have experienced some sort of mistreatment during their early years at home.
    The big mistake girls make is thinking, it is they that are going to "fix it".
    Big Secret - Only one in a million can be fixed, and many even get worse. It is very sad:(

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  • I wouldn’t say this is a “bad” guy just emotionally unavailable. Also always remember if a bad guy is bad, it means he does bad things, not about his image. And despite what many girls think, that bad guy isn’t gonna “change for me”. I think the only person capable of doing that is someone he is gonna end up marrying. Like if anything they’ll be the same person they always have been but only difference is you got them to settle down. I know that silly notion that people always think that they are “the one” for that guy but sometimes you’re just not, and they’re not the one for you either. People are very complex and you can’t really define them one way

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  • Bad boys are usually the ones that haven't or didn't grow up.. it doesn't nessecerily mean it was a woman who made him like this. My partner is fucked up in the head so badly that i literally want to leave him as i write this. He watches me cry and laughs. He just went out to drink. Its not about the guys past.. its about what happened in the past all together. Hos family will disown you if you say something they dont like. His mum made him. clean her crack up after parties at the age of 4. So dont ever think its only ever an ex that fucked them up.. its their upbringing aswell that plays a huge roll

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  • Bad behavior starts at home. They were probably mistreated, abused, or neglected by parents and caregivers from the start, skewing their view of what a "good" person is supposed to be.

    If they're treating others the way they were taught to, and these people would getting hurt by this and constantly leaving, it sets a cycle in motion. And this probably just reinforces in their skewed brains that everyone around them use just going to leave, so why should they even try or care at all?

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  • "Bad" guys are guys who make bad choices. Bad is the opposite of good, and I know that Jesus is good, pure, holy and believing in Him gives peace, joy and love. I think all people making bad choices need forgiveness and that only comes from believing in the only One who did not sin and choose to do anything bad, so we can believe in Jesus and repent and say sorry for our sins and bad choices and be baptized and follow Him. I know this is the only way to true love. I used to not know this and thank God now I do, and that is why I share this truth. A guy making bad choices usually is not Christian or is a Christian who is choosing not to follow Jesus's commandments, as the same for females. If we choose not to follow God's commandment to love Him and love others, we do bad things sometimes such as lie, steal, hurt others on purpose, use drugs or alcohol wrongly, cheat and more. If any of us are doing this things, it is bad. Jesus was real, He lived on earth and died for us so God could resurrect Him and we can believe and know God's word is true. Then we can believe, repent of those sins and be baptized in water showing our faith, belief and trust in Jesus as the only perfect Son who died for us to rise again and is with God in Heaven. Then we can with the help of the Holy Spirit, remove the bad thoughts, remove the bad plans we may have in our hearts, and remove and sin or bad choices in our lives to live good, pure, clean lives in Holiness. True love is from God and Jesus , since God is the creator of love so if a bad boy is denying God, then he could not know the true full love of God and be confused and lost and making bad choices, maybe more or less than the female they are pursuing or who is pursuing them. Then for them to know the full true love of God, they have to realize and turn to God, giving God their heart so God can cleanse it through believing in, baptism with the Holy Spirit and following Jesus Christ. This is needed for males and females, all of us, myself included. Once this happens if the male or female is still making bad choices, as can happen because only Jesus was perfect, we must not excuse these sins but repent of them by asking God, the Holy Spirit, and Jesus Christ to help remove all sin from our lives. We must not sin and obey God's commandments to love Him, follow Him and love others without sinning. If we sin, we must repent, and turn from all sin! We must love God with all our hearts, minds, souls and strength and love!

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    • God doesn't exist

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    • You as well.

    • Interesting comment. What I will say is that in the case of Christian women they are not usually attracted to the personalities of men who are actually following Jesus teaching. Jesus said that the meek will inherit the earth. But what woman is attracted to a meek man? To be meek means to be mild-mannered and humble but most women interpret that as weak. Obviously since Jesus is the first love in my life I'm not going to change in order to get women but based on my experience and observation a true follower of Jesus is not attractive to even the average Christian women. If you are the type of woman who actually finds a man who keeps Jesus teaching to be attractive then you would be very rare in my opinion. The meek will certainly inherit the earth because Jesus words must be fulfilled. I expect that to happen when Jesus comes again and rules as King with a rod of iron. God bless.

  • Bad experiences shouldn't automatically make you a bad person. It can either break you or make you. Being a "bad" guy is a poor excuse of a man/woman who just doesn't want to commit fully to you so they don't get hurt again but end up hurting you... :/

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  • Some. I really do think some "bad boys" have some suppressed emotions. They're usually troubled. Which is why I think many women are attracted him because they want to "fix him" or she's messed up herself and hopes that someone who is damaged goods won't mind someone with baggage. I personally don't go for the bad boys because, again, they usually are troubled, it's a lot of work to help someone get it together, which often times they never do, if you have issues yourself. Some bad boys are just assholes, some have issues. Everybody is a little different, but in personal experience many of them do have demons.

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  • Nope some people are just bad and have no reason to be that way, if anything they probably get more attention from women.

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  • No.

    However this is a very popular view among women who repeatedly date abusive assholes while being convinced if they just try harder he will turn sweet.

    AGREED.

    YOU WILL NOT 'TURN'HIM... YOU'RE NOT A VAMPIRE.

    If you are genuine with a person and they piss all over it/ you. WALK AWAY. You would if it were literal piss- so just look at it that way.

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    • Yet. I have never ever dated an abusive asshole so...

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    • if you never dated an asshole then you never changed an asshole into a kind person-bc they were not assholes.

    • being slow to open up is common its nothing to do with being 'bad'.

  • no its just because thats the only way to get plentifully laid as a man unfortunately. as for traumatic childhood or poor upbringing certainly plays a role. but every person can change if he wants. we are noone's nurses, nor can we delude ourselves we can change people

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    • So u are saying the bad boy attitude attracts women more the the sensitive and caring guy?

      Must be possible but i dont see logic in that. as a women what do u think

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    • When did I say that I have jokes alone? I don't try hard, I just like to have fun. And for sure I am not seeking validation from women.

    • I commented here because in your original comment (being bad being the only option) you seemed to recognize that it is a consequence of women's behavior, but you seem very prejudiced against me, just trying to find my flaws and faults.

  • No, some are just assholes.

    I don’t care about their Tragic Backstory™. We have all had shit in our lives. But if it makes you into an absolute dick, then I’m not interested in dealing with you.

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    • And you ma'am are the type of girl that shapes these types of guys.

    • @CadenS2002 why? Have we even met?

      You think that a brusque woman turns men into assholes? No, they do that themselves.

  • Nah, some are just dicks

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  • It's more complexed than that. Not every wounded person will be bad. Some just have loving hearts no matter what they've gone through. There are, on the other side, some guys who are narcissistic and toxic even if they grew up in loving homes.

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  • I know several guys who are bad boys because their mom were fucking horrible to them. They never really got that unconditional love from a mother. so they started hating women and only seeing them only as sex toys.

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    • Cuz society taught them that if they are nice they will end up last

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    • Yea
      But how their parent turns bad and fail at parenting?

    • @djmzes well one guy saw his mom being a slut and cheating on his dad. She was also doing worse things with men while he was around. She left him and his sister to go sleep with men.

  • Nah. Some are bad because they’re selfish, bitter, hurt, sociopaths, have a troubled upbringing or past, are sadistic, have no interest in women besides sex etc. Not all of that is because of a lack of love.

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  • I think so too. I agree with your point of view.
    I’m in a serious relationship and after this one I think that until I settle it will kinda take forever because I really don’t wanna deal with men in general.

    I just feel so disgusted and exhausted of having to share my space with someone else. I just want a roommate to split the bills but damn never am I ever moving in with a man...
    it’s too much stress

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  • No, I think bad guys are just raised bad. Same as for girls. There's no justification for bad behavior.

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    • I would say it's because they don't know any other way to act, often parents fault. Not justification but an explanation to why they act like that.

  • Bad boys just trying to look "bad" because they don't want to get hurt. Some girl probably fucked their trust up

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  • Getting hurt might be one reason, but I think it's also what a lot of girls are attracted to.

    Kind of like how guys overlook the girl next door type for the bad girls.

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  • I agree with what you suggest, that bad boys are bad because they've had experiences that have ruined their belief in love.

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    • But then there are also immature bad boys who simply think being bad is cool

  • Jason Momoa is a tough guy and he is sweet. Not only too say that I have had loads off tough guys and only one was a dick I guess it really depends on the guy

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  • Everyone is good from he art but society divides people and most of the so called ' good guys ' are the real cheaters. pure love wash all impurities

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    • The so called "good guys" are the worst cheaters. That's just delutional. If he is fake "good guy" he will cheat. Differentiate between the "bad" guys from the "good" guys and differentiate between the fake good guy (asshole) and the genuine good guy. Nonetheless, not all stay good forever.

      "Everyone is good from the art" wrong everyone isn't born good. We are born with human nature and the cultured by our environment and society which is still made up of "everyone"

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    • Very insightful, thank you.

    • U're welcome

  • I agree with you theory. Bad attitudes are molded by bad experiences.

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  • The tough act could be just a shield to protect themselves !! Or a way to keep themselves as a centre of attraction rather than being lonely and ignored!!!

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  • No bad boys are bad because of a combination of genetics and bad life experiences. Let me give you two examples.

    1. Narcissistic personality disorder, a small amygdala which limits empathy , antisocial personality disorder... etc - for nature

    2. Deep rooted issues with women because of a poor relationship with his mother. Or his dad not being around - Nurture

    Also love won’t fix him... he has to crash and burn so he can fix himself... and maybe he won’t

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