He distanced himself from me because he was hurt in the past by girls. What should I do?

This guy I like connected well with me, much better than other guys I was involved with. He tried to drop subtle hints of liking me but tried to make them obvious enough. I didn’t know how to reciprocate but I tried. He ended up being distant. Shortly after he distanced himself from me, his friend brought up his ex girlfriend in their conversation. I was sitting behind them and I could hear them talking. He said he doesn’t want to say his exes name with me around and that he didn’t want to talk about it. He looked at me and then started to cry a bit. I could tell by that he has been hurt and now he probably thinks I’ll hurt him. I don’t know what to do.


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What Guys Said 10

  • Do nothing. He needs to work it out. You can make yourself open to listening to him though and that will help.

    HOWEVER, I am more concerned that you'd be "the rebound relationship" which usually ends badly or starts off rough. Keep that in mind. Find out how long ago his last relationship ended. If he has a broken heart, then don't touch him for the first 2 years after the dumping.

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    • I’m pretty sure this relationship ended over 2 years ago. He’s been single since I met him which was nearly 2 years ago.

    • For me, it was 2 years 7 months before I was ready again...

      One ex-GF... it's 26 years and counting.

  • I don’t buy it. He sounds like a pussy crybaby to me and is using tears to say he’s not interested

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  • Talk to him

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  • Guys are often hurt by their Exes and often don't date for a while. It would be best to talk to him a little, not about any relationships though. Keep it subtle, try being nice and respectful. If you want to date him, don't get friend-zoned. A little later after you meet him ( 3 weeks or more) would be a good time to ask him to the movies or event, you can take it from there.

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  • If he has heart broken by first affair then it would be hard for you to get his trust. You got to make him feel special then probably he will share something of his ex with you but it will be though very tough to know.

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  • If you think you want to be with him because you help him sort this feelings/past then you will end up hurting yourself. He needs self awareness and work on his issues with his girl or friends around. Relationships starting on wrong "connect" will fall of track sooner or later. Having said that it's not that you should not pursue him but for right reasons.

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  • Well for starters you should know that he's using the oldest trick in the book on you. The "I'm damaged but I'll totally accept your help to trust again if you push hard enough" card is a tried and true player's card.

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  • Well if a guy is deeply hurt, he won't cry in front of his crush. he's just trying to gain your trust. Guys don't like to shed tears in front of people. Take a hint

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  • Just give him some time

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  • Or it can just be a reason to distant you as he doesn't have interest anymore

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