Is chivalry really already dead?

Is chivalry really already dead??


1|0
58174

Most Helpful Guy

  • "But the age of chivalry is dead. That of sophists, economists and calculators has succeeded and the glory of Europe is extinguished forever."

    Edmund Burke - 1789 - We've been headed that way, downhill, in fits and starts for quite a while.

    0|2
    0|0
    • It will never die as long as the mind says it can

    • Show All
    • You probably need to read Burke to get the context. It wasn't science and technology he was referring to. You need to look at 18th century idioms.

    • @bigdog1961 No fact begins with if - or in this case "so long as..." That said, I try to be a chivalrous. Hold doors for ladies and such. The interesting part is how many women take offense when I do. (Not including my girlfriend, I am happy to say.)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Not COMPLETELY dead but for a feminist (by today's standards) it's not likely that they will be treated with such type of care. Which is their fault. One day it will be a thing of the complete past. Boy's aren't being raised to be chivalrous much anymore. Little girls aren't being raised to act like little ladies very much anymore neither.
    My husband and the men in his family were raised to be chivalrous. His bother isn't to all women though. He believes it's saved for the women that "deserve" it.

    1|11
    1|0

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 173

  • Unfortunately feminism (specifically radical feminism) is killing it.

    Seriously, some girls will be offended when I hold open a door for them I'm "spreading the idea that guys are stronger than women."

    Slapped me and told me she didn't need a male to open a door. Said she can do it herself.

    Fucking feminism... It's not feminism anymore...

    2|5
    0|0
    • There's a difference between radical feminism and actual feminism. One's misandrony and the other isn't.

    • That's why I made the distinction.

      But unfortunately radical feminism is still a branch of feminism, and when I hear "feminism," that's always going to be at least part of what I think of.

    • Even though they're a vocal minority.

  • Here is my story.

    When I used to go on dates with women, I used to dress nice, be myself, bring them flowers, pay for the meal, open doors for them, be the perfect gentlemen, etc... However, it never got me anywhere, except being ghosted and losing money in the process.

    After I decided to stop being the perfect gentlemen, women would stop ghosting me on the first date. After a while, on first dates, I would make the girl feel good about herself, boost her up, show her my car (a 2016 Mustang, which I pimped out on the inside), talk for a bit in my car and make her feel more comfortable, then I would go in for a kiss, which turned into feeling up, which turned into nipple sucking, which turned into the girl pulling out my cock, which turned into a blow job and then full blown sex. To my surprise, women responded to this better, and they would always text me first and instantly for days to come telling me I was a great lover and the "perfect gentlemen". How am I a gentlemen for basically having sex with you on the first date? Lol.

    Fact of the matter is, women "train" men to act a certain way.

    0|3
    0|0
  • It's not dead. I hold the door open for everyone. Pull out a chair for a woman, and in general try to be courteous and polite, as well as helpful to people.

    The thing is, I'm meeting women who are appalled by having doors open for them and things like that. And I get it: Women don't need men to do things for them. But I'm not doing these things because I have views of women being weaker. I'm doing it to be nice and for no other reason.

    2|1
    0|0
  • If I would put my thoughts into it. Out of every 15 suit of guys there's probably 2 ... Of 15 guys that would respect someone enough.. To be chivalrous.

    I seen the funniest things in public.. But some of the coolest things too.. There was one guy that held the door for this old lady and there was a girl walking pretty fast.. I thought the guy was going to hold the door for both the old lady and the young woman. The young girl looked and seen the man holding the door, so she continued to walk and text..! Until... The male just kept walking away I seen the door slowly close.

    At this point I could of yelled out "AYE!!!" But... Something deep in my soul locked my jaw. And I entered into this slow motion realm.. The door completely shut and the way her face smacked that door... I seen the cheeks on her face make wave motions.. And the phone.. Hit the door and feel on the cemented concrete... And it broke... She stood there.. Looking at her phone. Both in pain and shock. I walked to her... And seen she was staring at he ground.. I bent over to pick up her phone... And replied. "The door says pull... "... And held the door for the laughing gentlemen behind me... LOL...

    Well I felt I was somewhat helpful... When she grabbed her phone to analyze the damage... She looked so.. Speechless..

    Out of everything that happened... I thought.. "wonder why karma did that"... When I went into the gas station to put gas in my ford... I wasn't laughing on the outside. But I was dying inside.. I cried.. While paying for my gas at the cashier...

    At the end of the day I felt I made progress.. So to answer the question... Yeah in a way its dead in like a form of sleep but there's always a chance it would wake up with a surprise...

    So

    0|1
    0|0
  • It is a tough one. Some women really respect the gesture. Whereas other ones take hysterical offence. It doesn't change your mindset. If I am on a crowded bus and I see a pregnant woman standing I will always offer my chair for her. As with other similar gestures

    2|1
    0|0
    • May i ask you something about this whole chivalry stuff?

    • Show All
    • He was doing such things way before sex. I know I shouldn’t have. But I was thinking if it’s the only way I can be around him I’ll do it.

      But it also doesn’t make sense why he will tell me that this girl msged him.
      Rewind back he had sex with this girl years ago. But then a few months ago she started tagging him and I on fb. So I told him he got mad and told me to ignore her. So this female had msged him telling him why he’s ignoring her. So when he saw me he told me what she sent him.

      He didn’t have to tell me about her and what she sent him. You know?

    • I wouldn't know why. The best way to solve this is having a conversation with him about this even if there is the risk of losing him, you still need to do something about this situation.

  • Chivalry is not dead as long as I am alive.

    I am an adviser to an undergraduate fraternity at a local university. We teach all of the young men about chivalry and treating women with respect. Many of them understand that this is what women want, even modern young women!

    0|2
    0|0
    • Seconded!

    • Show All
    • @Being_a_good_Indian That is quite a lengthy article you have indian guy. I personally do not have the time to read it all but I glanced in a few places.

      Unrelated to OlderandWiser's opinion, I will still tell you my thoughts on it (rather than to leave an opinion there).

      I mean in no way to undermine your efforts to bring up those sexual assault facts and statistics (in which you mentioned India having the least rape cases so far) but there is a practice of forced/arranged marriages at gunpoint. I would kind of be interested in what you have to say about it.

      And regarding the (German) Media. Well, what can I say? It is the media and it's not surprising. The government controls the media and lets the media speak it's bidding rather than reporting 5 rape cases. I have learned long ago, that the media is a rigged and biased psychic weapon. It was also my very first MyTake article here.

      Medias are powerful psychic weapons. Did YOU fall for them? ↗

    • You just cannot trust any media nowadays. You can only trust the regular people like you and me and the community, who are actually experiencing things rather than to feed on what the media throws at us.

      The TV was supposed to be a great invention. It turns out today to bring more harm than good. At least in my opinion it seems so.

      I however do sympathize in cases of such discrimination as I don't like it myself.

  • It is not dead yet, but surprisingly people are pleating in favor of it dieing in terms of "equality" and "freedom". Once we get to a society where women are shopping naked, all sexuality is drained from society and there is nothing exciting about it anymore chivalry will be truly dead because at that point there is nothing to protect and also nothing to give to your partner as everyone can see it anyway.

    So be very careful what you wish for, and be very careful what you are rooting for if you are a women. Because chivalry is your primal source of power and incredibly attractive.

    Teasing is an art form the traditional women has mastered and our youngsters have forgotten. Dressing in a way that sparks the imagination of a guy and only gives him a tiny amount (Such as a V dress that shows her chest but not her actual breasts) is incredibly attractive to men because it gives them a hint of what they could get if they pursue you and gives them a direct reason to flirt and start chasing you. Combine that with some nurturing values and men are just hardwired to fall blindly in love with you as you have just done anything that interests the male primal brain as you have shown you are extremely capable of raising a child to there subconscious in every shape while tantalizing there imagination.

    Today's progressives have gotten it incredibly wrong as women are trying to become more and more like men which results in something easily predictable. Men like Women, Men typically do not like Men. So if you are going to walk with your breasts out into an office building while giving no care about raising a family you are going to simply be incredibly unattractive. Yes they might look at your chest and think you are pretty, but they have already seen the goods so the magic is lost and with no femininity on display you are not sparking interest in there male subconscious at all meaning all is left is your figure and your personality meaning you have an extreme disadvantage against the more traditional girl you are trying to destroy.

    The girls that get it right are typically not progressives or feminists but more conservative. They understand that you have to make the guy work for you even if you love him by not giving him everything straight away but having him earn it until it feels right and you two build a nice bond, that will greatly improve your chances of not being used for just sex as your feminine features display future potential at its fullest.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No it isn't dead;, #Chivalry towards women has evolved with the times.

    As women are becoming increasingly empowered in schools and workplaces, society now feel less reason for men to display traditional acts of courtesy towards women.

    i.pinimg.com/.../...gentleman-gentleman-quotes.jpg

    Being a Good Indian. 😊

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes. I used to be a gentleman almost all of my life. But since Metoo I feel the urge not to be an idiot anymore. I hold the door open for people independent of gender if there is need to do that. But I don't pay her dinner, don't open her door or help her in her clothes or with anything else. This has definitly stopped. I realized I am a man and therefore a chauvinist rapist pig.

    0|4
    0|0
  • It should be dead, it's the idea that women are better than men and men have to do things for women to be worthy of them. That just doesn't work in this age where everyone is supposed to be equal

    0|8
    0|0
  • Mostly. The difficulty is that it's hard to not come off as patronizing or creepy, and chivalry is reserved for the elderly, children, or ladies and many women are not very ladylike these days. Men don't have as good manners either.

    1|2
    0|0
  • No, it is not dead. There is still polite people opening doors and some other small gestures because they are polite.

    If someone does these to trying to benefit themselves, like thinking girls will fall for you because it, you are not chivalrous, and girls can see trough.

    Chivalry isn't dead as long people still defend and help others for sake of liking to help.

    0|2
    0|1
    • Exactly what I say. You should not be polite just because you expect something in return.
      There is nothing wrong in opening a door for a guy friend, you are not trying to hit on him, you are just doing him a fucking favour.

  • Well, maybe the term, with the now 'sexist' connotations!!
    Really, Ladies, some are offended when he opens a door, or offers his hand getting out of the car?
    What are you thinking, and why is that so terrible?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes but women killed it!!! Go back some time... Hold a door for a girl you would get a quick flurt. Now you get some feminists s*** and you only did it to look at her ass or something. Like yah but we're doing it nicely.

    0|0
    1|0
  • I try to be chivalrous to both men and women. I think it's being Canadian.

    However I don't do the jacket thing for sure. I've told my exes numerous times to dress warm for winter (-10 at least). But because they want to be cute and wear summer tights or leggings, a raincoat and are cold, that's not my problem.

    0|2
    0|0
  • It's not dead but it's dying. We as men try to be polite (not all but that's a different issue) to women just for the sake of being nice and sometimes we get hit by their overreacted responses. If that happens, men become more and more reluctant to be polite towards women.
    But I don't know, I always try to be a gentleman but sometimes it isn't worth the effort 😒

    0|2
    0|0
  • No it's not but often girls think of it as flirting. Even if I don't know them or do, Girls occasionally give me attitude for it. Like I can't be nice and hold a door open for you? Oh you have a boyfriend? So if I didn't hold the door open for you, you would would think chivalry is dead?

    I'm not saying all girls are like this but I've seen it a lot more than I'd like too.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Depends. Most women I meet these days do not wish to be the subject of chivalry. On the other hand, I was brought up the old school way. So it's pretty ingrained in my nature. I try to adjust its degree depending on the preferences of the person I'm with (and that too is a present-day chivalry).

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't believe so. Men still hold the doors open for women and are the ones asking them out and paying for dinner.

    The media attacks chivalry though, making it out to be misogynistic. I think most women prefer the traditional male. Or a variation of it.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Whenever a woman asks this hypocritical question I ask her "What did you cook for him last night?" if the answer is anything other than "A delicious meal" than you know why chivalry is dead.

    2|3
    0|0
    • That's so damn true. Some women want tradition when it benefits them and when it means other people have to put themselves out for them, but when they have to do something, suddenly 'I'm an independent woman, make your own dinner'.

  • I don’t think chivalry is, it’s just transformed.

    Take this into account, you’re meeting up with a sweet yet good looking guy off tinder/OkCupid and he’s friendly and respectful, doesn’t try anything sexual and is waiting for the third date to kiss you. This happens more commonly then people actually think it’s just we focus on the negative more than positive things.

    The rules just changed but good manners still exist

    0|0
    0|0
  • It comes across as a bit lame and cheezy these days. Women are capable of opening doors, pulling out chairs etc.

    The thing is, what nice things do women do for men that would entitle them to expect such chivalry from men? Nobody owes anyone anything in this world. It should come as a pleasant surprise if it occurs, but don't go expecting the world to treat you like a princess for nothing.

    0|1
    0|0
  • A relic from a different time when women were thought of as frail and dainty not necessarily revered. A woman in the west today has more rights and freedoms than at any time in human history. She earns her own keep and can fight her own battles. At the same time, she wants doors held for her, chairs pulled. Is chivalry dead? No, but the times have changed.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yeah, bitches killed it. Very few women exist that deserve it to let it thrive. Funny thing is it's the rude, entitled women who "fight for equality" that want men to open doors, hold umbrellas for them.

    0|4
    1|2
    • Exactly! One of the only comments in this thread that says it the way it is

  • No. Mutual respect is. And it's primarily infected American culture to be so self centered, being kind is almost not worth it.
    I still am because it's just how I am. I expect nothing in return and I like to live alone. So it's not all dead.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Why do we call it chivalry?

    As long as you're not a total white knight you shouldn't have a problem.

    Why does this keep being brought up as some sort of superior mannerism that future generations are killing? When in reality it's not even required if you're just an empathetic person. Gathering around as one to say "we have basic human decency" kind of bugs me, and blaming certain groups for whether or not it's still prominent is childish and narrow minded.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Not really, it's just a lot of women aren't worth that treatment. Only a lady should expect a gentleman. I don't meet many ladies.

    0|4
    0|0
  • Yes, like 90% of it was code of conduct for knights that we haven't used for centuries.

    The last 10% of polite male conduct has been ripped apart by feminists

    0|3
    0|0
  • No never, women still enjoy and men should learn how to be.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I still believe in it just for this reason...

    0|2
    0|0
  • More from Guys
    143

What Girls Said 57

  • It's relative in my opinion, chivalry is pretty alive in Italy, boys (especially if older) are always kind with me or my other friends in many ways, while in Japan the chivalry is almost never really something considered, in my experience, you can pretend it from a guy or a guy just isn't like that, it really depends also from the type of person...

    3|1
    0|0
  • It's the responsibility of all people to be kind and decent to each other, and when it is simple to do something kind, we should do it. I open the door for people if I get to the door first - it's just a simple politeness.

    Men are not obligated to be chivalrous because they are men and we are women.

    When you care about someone and you're in a relationship, you do kind things for one another.

    When you're out in public and you engage in a normal act of politeness that's just being a good citizen who wants to participate in a polite society.

    If someone opens the door for me, I nod in appreciation or say thank you. If I open the door for someone, they usually do the same but if they are just busy and forget, I don't have to get my panties in a wad about it.

    What is REAL chivalry in the modern age? (It certainly isn't about men opening doors for women.) here is some food for thought. I encourage everyone to read this take.

    bettermyths.com/.../

    0|0
    0|2
  • Chivalry & Gallantry are very much alive and practiced by the wonderful men in my life! My dad, brothers and boyfriend are all true gentlemen. Because they're very disciplined, they still do courteous acts very naturally.

    1|2
    0|0
    • I suppose it depends, personally I hold open doors for instance, but I do that for everyone, guys, girls, teachers, students, etc. So its not really because of interest in someone in particular

    • @SirMavane: Then, that is being gentleman-like. You don't do it to impress. You do it because it comes naturally to be courteous. However, there are a lot more proper gestures aside from holding doors open for others.

    • That is definitely true, but holding doors is something I always did naturally, so its easy. But I've never had a girl interested in me so I never had to do much other than that because its usually for people I don't know

  • Honestly, nowadays I don’t think we trust a stranger. If a random person approaches you to help with grocery, it’s like... why? Is it safe to accept the help?

    Or maybe it’s just me, I watched way too many forensic files.

    0|4
    0|0
  • Not at all. I see acts of chivalry all the time (unless you are referring to medieval chivalry ha ha, bad joke I know). I am constantly having guys go out of their way to open doors for me, and I think it is sweet especially when they run ahead of me to open the door when they see that I have a huge textbook and already overloaded bookbag on my back as if this task was not already a struggle. I always say thank you, but deep down I wish I could say more, you know start up a conversation that properly reflects my gratitude, but I typically really had some place to go like class or the restroom or something and they seem at times in a rush themselves, which makes me feel even more grateful because they volunteered their time like that. Even on this website, I just had a discussion with a true gentlemen who adorned me w/ complements. I hope these guys know how much we women appreciate this type of treatment, because I know I do, will never forget their kind acts.

    2|0
    0|0
    • Yes! Thanks for saying these things. :) I hope I could tag all the guys who commented so far so they know that, just like what you said, these acts of kindness from them don't go unnoticed.

    • Far from unnoticed, it always lightens my day no matter what mood I was in, they are like superheroes who swoop in and rescue me from my own self doubt and worry. To all those guys who do this I want to say thank you and keep it up, you bring smiles and have a bigger influence in female's lives than you think, even if it is not always crystal clear, even I do not always show it, but I feel it and remember it.

    • Women say chivalrous men are rare and I say women who deserve such effort are even harder to find.

  • In most. Men just dont care anymore, but can you blame them? Every damn thing a man does gets beaten down by all these raging feminists. Men dont know whether to treat a woman like a lady or like an equal anymore, theyll get in shit either way

    0|2
    0|0
  • I don't think it ever really existed... I think "masculinity" and "real men" were always an ideal, an unachievable fantasy society put in boys heads so they would actually try to put in some effort... Once we took that away they all collapsed because it was never really there to begin with.

    1|1
    0|5
    • Looked for crazy answers and i found only this one

    • Show All
    • @livinglikelarry223 I might have a skewed perspective. And I'm not opposed to people trying to be better. But it's my experience that all people are selfish, and will sell you down the river anytime it gives them advantage. Wish that wasn't how I saw things, sadly that is the conclusion.

    • Im hungry

  • I know for a fact that it is dead because chivalry is a major theme in movies that is now interpreted as fictional. It is also the reason why I watch so many movies to escape from this helpless world by which I would have been better off historically. Please men, if it's not too late con

    0|0
    2|0
    • It's to late. The constant belittling of men will keep chivalry from returning.

  • not if someone has an immense interest in you, they will do all chivalry

    1|0
    0|1
  • It's not. My friend is from Syria. 38 years old, always opens the door and says "ladies first", when I drop something on the floor or any other girl he'll give it back to us. A lot of examples... he's the first guy I know doing this and I find it really cool. Tbh I don't know would I like to have a boyfriend like he is. Everything is nice, you'll open the door for me, but I don't know

    0|1
    0|0
    • In arabian countries this is called common manners not chivalry, I’m from Jordan it’s on southern border of Syria, and we share the same values.

      But as you have already pointed out that these manners doesn’t necessarily make someone a good boyfriend material

    • Show All
    • I know for sure that this friend is very good husband to his wife, but for the rest I don't know

    • Maybe am wrong and he is just a very “nice” guy

  • no, every guy i've dated (or just went on a date with) held umbrellas, bags, etc for me, gently pulled me out of harm's way by guiding me with his hand on the small of my back, made sure he walked next to the street so i wouldn't get hit by a car, urged me to sit if there was a seat available, and so on and they were all japanese guys born in japan.

    0|0
    0|0
  • As long as there is at least one man in the world being chivalrous it isn't dead.

    0|3
    0|1
  • I have never had a guy do the "traditional" chivalrous actions, like opening doors for me, bring me flowers, give me his jacket, or holding an umbrella for me. At least some have been respectful and not rude.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's as dead as a zombie. Awake, but unaware of it's surroundings.

    0|0
    1|0
  • Well I hope not... that would be devastating for me, cuz I like a chivalrous man.

    0|2
    0|1
    • Men like to be chivalrous only around women who they think deserve it. Expect chivalry only if you conduct yourself like a lady.

    • @gps181 I absolutely agree with you! :)

  • No, but it is hard to find. I consider myself having high expectations from males. Some examples include holding a door for a women, standing up when she is about to leave, not cursing/swearing, and also using manners. In my high school, it is extremely hard to find a young man who has these qualities, but there are some exceptions. Once, I was going to school and a boy was in front of me. There are many doors to go through to get to the right campus so at each door he would hold the door for me. I would thank him and he said, “You’re welcome.” These little things can make any woman happy, even just by a little tad bit. Don’t give up on the men. Inside, they all have quality of chivalry. :)

    1|1
    2|4
    • From what I've noticed girls swear way more than guys these days, talk loudly and behave badly. I feel men are more gentle than women there days. Women think it makes them 'strong women' thanks to feminism.

  • Chivalry is dead indeed specially to most men that interact with me

    0|0
    0|0
  • I literally have been seeing this everywhere so I guess if the media says it is then it is. 😆👩🏼‍💻 but no I don’t think so

    0|0
    0|0
  • No
    There may be a lot of people who don't care about chivalry
    but some people still practice chivalry

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't think It's dead. At least not where I live.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I think it’s alive, just a little sick of interacting with the world

    0|1
    0|0
  • Well I think idea dying out. But there are guys who still practice it, and girls who appreciate it.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I dont see man in my culture being chivalrous but some are modern man so no i dont think its dead

    0|0
    0|0
  • Nope. I guess sometimes it takes a while to find it but it's there

    0|0
    0|0
  • No, not at all my boyfriend makes sweet “chivalrous” gesture all the time.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Hard to find, not dead... yet

    0|1
    0|2
  • Not dead just rare to find.

    1|3
    0|1
  • Yessss. Yes it is.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Almost dead.

    0|2
    0|0
  • I think people just have a sucky way of showing it

    0|1
    0|0
  • More from Girls
    27

Recommended myTakes

Loading...