Is it surprising to be 25 and never having had a long term relationship?

I'm turning 25 soon and I have never had a relationship that lasted longer than 4 months. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of guys that want to be with me, even marry me and stuff. But the minute I get close to a guy I must leave the relationship... I love my career more than dating guys. I'm in a relationship with making money and building my future. Sure it gets lonely from time to time but can't help it. I have to control everything...

Does that scare a guy away? Should I lie on the first dates and say that I've had serious relationships?

  • I'd run not looking back.
    Vote A
  • It's ok.
    Vote B
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447

Most Helpful Guy

  • It is Ok, is not very common, but there is nothing wrong about you. You shouldn't lie about this aspect. But for future guys you should tell them your priorities, I have to say, in my personal experience, that it is pretty hard to have a long term relationship while you are studying, because, maybe after you finish your undegraduate you may want to go to another country to get a master degree or something, also you could have a job offer in other state, that's why relationships in your age are not to be long-term, also it depends on your personality, if you get bored of this guys, then it is a good idea to focus on your future, your career, and after having finished with this, you can try to meet some guys. For further explanation you can send me a private message, this to not exagerate the size of the answer.

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What Guys Said 46

  • You will be one of them successful, lonely and unhappy people in the future.

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    • Best compliment ever!

  • Make your money girl. Know this, your selfish ways will come back to haunt you. At some point you're going to want a real relationship, after you and money break up. By then, you would have let many many men (have mercy on me) pass by, maybe even Mr. Right, who by then will long have put you out of his mind after you scarred him. You will be in your 40s and built a reputation of someone who most would tell others to stay away from. Do you know what habits are? Specifically bad habits? They are repetitive things we do, and over time they become part of who we are. You're not going to be able to just "Hey, I now want to treat a man with respect and love him". Yeah, go ahead and think you're going to do that all you want. Do you know the outcome of your late love efforts will be? It looks like a 60 year old, thrice divorced (Chris Farley) and living single and lonely in her big house down by the river. However, you will have your money to keep you company. You know what? You will by then have more than earned every bit if misery you feel. I already know your type. Bet you can't stay faithful for 4 months. You're think you're too damn special for one man.

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  • At 25 it's pretty normal not to be in a long term relationship, you haven't even had almost no time to build one, if your work is very demanding it will be complicated to get one, unless you look for someone also job oriented or give up from your job, wich is clearly your priority, so just stick with it. It is what you value most so it should be your guiding thing in life

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  • I'm 33 and can honestly say I've never been in a relationship... now the girls I have seen in the past might argue differently and say we were dating... but even still they last no longer than a month or two.

    Some people just like their own space or don't have the need to be with someone. so can take it or leave it and because of this tend not to rush into anything... I wouldn't worry about it, when it happens it will probably be the one.

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  • I wouldn't date a career woman.

    However I get where you're coming from. I'm the same way. I have never taken any woman seriously all though I have had a few relationships.

    I will say one thing though - career women tend to become miserable later in life. Because there's a shortage of equivalent career men nowadays

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  • It would probably benefit you as far as giving you wisdom in life, to be in a long-term relationship that is. I had never been in a long-term relationship until I got married. I kind of felt like it wasn't a big deal because I was willing to settle down with the right person. But my family kind of made a big deal about it acting like there's something wrong with me and my sisters would act like they know more in life because they've had long-term relationships. Now in my marriage I've had longer relationship then any one of my siblings. So it's like maybe they should have been more humble and more willing to learn from me. Instead of riding their high horse around. So don't put too much emphasis in other people's opinions.

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  • How about just not dating and love your career? Seems like the more sensible idea. No reason to string a guy along or make him think like he may have a chance of staying with you when your plans are with your career.

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  • In this context, I wouldn't even give her a second thought. There are things that I would want and need in a relationship, and if they aren't going to be met - or even considered - then I'd have nothing to do with it.

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  • I mean, I would have said that there is nothing wrong with that. And while I want the woman to be happy, I think not allowing love in her life even as a career oriented person is silly.

    If you don't let anyone in, you will never find love.

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  • Don't lie. You sont know where the relationship will go. Lying will make you end up in a relationship based on a lie with a guy that thought you are different and share similar ideas for future. Be yourself. Eventually you will find a guy who will be a match and understand wbere you wanna get in life.

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  • It sounds like you should date a married man, possibly a sugar daddy who can mentor and advise as you develop your career.

    If you do, you can have your space and independence, while still having intimacy.

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  • Let me put it this way... If you've only had flings then it's a big red flag for any guy who wants something long term.

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  • I put "it's okay" mainly because I'm 31 and never had a long term relationship. Dated girls for a couple of months at most. Don't really think it's my thing so maybe it's not yours either?

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  • Don't lie to them. That always ends up stabbing you in the back in the long run. Look for a guy you can date that allows you to pursue your career goals.

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  • "I love my career more than dating guys"

    Why would I date someone with that mentality?

    You need to find a balance which isn't that hard.

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    • Good point. If you can't find a balance, there is something wrong with you.

  • Yeah that's a really bad relationship/work balance. You can be plenty successful while having a partner (in fact a partner helps in that respect).

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  • "... I love my career more than dating guys."

    You have your priorities. Most guys will not accept being a rung well down the ladder of importance to you. Same reason dating a single parent - you'll just never be the top priority.

    Date for entertainment, just know that's all it is. When you're ready to actually find a mate your priorities will adjust accordingly. Just don't wait too long. By forty it's increasingly difficult, and your opportunity for child bearing narrows, over forty is becomes nearly impossible.

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  • I'm in the same boat but 23, I feel the same way as you but I know not to be ashamed of it

    All I worry about is actually finding a girlfriend ya know. Which at this point isn't very likely haha

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  • It's fine, good to know you're pursuing your career. Don't lie, keep the truth in front

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  • I'am 25 and i never had a relationship even short. also i feel cool with that

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  • Don't lie on the first date. Building a relationship on a bedrock of lies is surely Less likely to last.

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  • Yes being career focussed to the detriment of the relationship, does scare guys away. But you also shouldn't feel bad if that's how you want to live

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  • Most people don' care about your past relationships and do not want to know about it. Don't worry.

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  • It's Okay , i didn't meet my first girlfriend to age 28.

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  • It's fine. I haven't either and I've got a few years on you.

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  • Why lie? And is that really the way you want to start, on a lie? You can't expect honesty in return can you?

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  • It is a red flag, yes. However it is a strawman for bigger ones that should be the topic.

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  • People are very career oriented today and also are waiting for the right person. So you are fine don’t worry

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  • It wouldn't deter me I would take it as a personal challenge

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  • Oh we feel so deprived hearing this, how can we survive?

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What Girls Said 4

  • No need to lie about it.
    It is absolutely fine, you just haven’t met someone that made you wanna stay in a committed relationship yet and there’s nothing wrong with it

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  • ... guys that want to marry you when u date them a maximum of 4 months? ahaha... ahahahaha yeah right. Either they are crazy or you are delusional lol. But hey, it could be the first one, lot of crazy people out there.

    Why do u need to bring up past relationships on a FIRST date lol. That's no ones business unless u are at the point where u are ready to be in a relationship with them maybe. And if you aren't looking for a serious relationship then why would u need tell them you have never had one, just tell them u aren't looking for one. Don't waste peoples time.

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  • In some respects it is a good thing that you don't accept anything and everyone in a relationship. It means you have standards and might be more likely to get respect

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  • It is ok

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