Would you want to know if your girlfriend or friends with benefits got an abortion?

If your girlfriend or friends with benefits fell pregnant but decided she wasn’t going to keep it - and it wasn’t up for discussion or debate, that’s what she was doing - would you still want to know even having no input?
Would you want to know if your girlfriend or friends with benefits got an abortion?
I’m not asking if the scenario is morally right, just whether or not you would want to know of the situation after the fact and why

  • Yes, but only if we were still seeing each other
    Vote A
  • Yes, even if she had ended any association with me because of it
    Vote B
  • No, I wouldn’t want to know
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guy

  • My response was based on the assumption that the baby was mine. Absolutely I would want to know.

    In fact, I got a gal pregnant. She told me and I begged - literally begged - her to keep the baby. She subsequently got an abortion and told me later.

    That hit me hard and I took it very badly. In fact, it got to be like a bad movie for a while. I drank too much. I just could not stop thinking about the little baby I never got to hold.

    Luckily, I met a gal whom I have been living with for ten years now and we have three children. I am wildly happy and got better than I deserve, but I still can't help think about the child I lost.

    Assuming it does not involve me, much as I would discourage it and would tell my story, that is not something I would be expected to be told. Certainly, it would not be appropriate for me to ask.

    So it really boils down to circumstance. If it is my child - you bet I want to know. If not, a prurient curiosity on my part would not make a bad situation better.

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    • Even with your experience and the fact it’s weighed so heavily knowing, why would you choose to experience that when in this situation ignorance could in fact be bliss?
      The knowledge doesn’t seem to compute with the outcome here to choose that situation or maybe I’m just not clicking with it sorry 😊

    • That's okay. I am not quite sure I follow, but if I understood you right, I would want to know because my hurt matters less than what was lost. I love the little person I never knew, and it hurt so much because he or she - I never got to learn the gender - was part of me.

      Living in a sort of blissful ignorance of what might have been would not make me a better person. In fact, it just makes me an ignorant one. I learned a lot from that experience - including how to be a loving father and an absolutely devoted boyfriend. (We don't want to be married. We think what we have is natural and beautiful.)

      Had I never known, how much less of a father, boyfriend - and for that matter, how much less of a man might I be.

      You bet it hurts, but that is how you learn to grow up.

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What Guys Said 37

  • You mean, it is my baby? She kills my baby and doesn't even tell me?
    What a horrible person. I don't think I could hate her anymore. Maybe murderers and rapists I could hate more but I would despise her and curse the day I met her.

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    • Not the question, but thanks for taking the time to type that out

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    • Could you point out to me where in the question it’s indicative of being anyone else’s child? The question seems perfectly clear for everyone else; but I’ll copy and paste it for clarity.

      If your girlfriend or friends with benefits fell pregnant but decided she wasn’t going to keep it, would you still want to know even having no input?

    • Oh... it's nobodies baby, I see.

      So I'm dating a woman but somehow she's pregnant (not by me apparently) but has had sex with some other guy during our relationship or literally just before we started dating.

      Yeah I'd want to know so I could leave. I wouldn't be in that scenario in a thousand years. "But the baby is gone now... I'm all yours now" I don't think so.

  • My partner would know that I don't want children anyway, so I don't see why they would withhold that information from me.

    But I would still want to know, simply because it is a medical procedure and every medical procedure carries risks and complications.
    I would want to know that my partner is in a serious risk of having to go to the ER as a result of some procedure that they have had a few weeks ago.

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  • I would want to know, because if it comes out in a fight later not only will she lose me for good but I would make sure everyone else knows to. Because I wouldn't let her make me out to be the bad guy saying I forced her to do it. Because anyone who truly knows me knows I wanted more children.

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  • I chose the middle option, but I should emphasize that I would want to know, if and ONLY IF the reason things ended was because of the abortion. I get that she doesn't owe me anything, but I'd like think that people deserve an explanation when you leave their lives.

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  • I think I'd need to know. At the very least it would help me understand more about what she's been through. I wouldn't hold any grudge of any form, but abortions still hold a bond between the would-be mother and father just like if the child had been born and that's something you need to be aware of.

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  • If she's making the choice 100% she should shoulder responsibility and guilt 100%. On the othee hand he should know so if he does want a kid he can dump her for a mothering type

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  • HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

    THIS ACTUALLY HAPPEN TO ME AND friends with benefits,

    Yeah still see her, fkn sexgod, pissed off then have angry sex. took some coping but eventually got over it, was unstable at the time anyway. I don't know... this is her decision

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  • Nope. If she;s getting an abortion, don't tell me you are pregnant and don't tell me about it. I would probably end either scenario if told that I am a father just to take it away from me.

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  • Certainly if we were still in a relationship I would want to know that. If we had split up and weren't talking any more then maybe not, but probably it would still be good to know. I tend to be someone that likes to know as much as possible so it helps me make better decisions in the future. (In this case that would be to figure out how she got pregnant so I could avoid that happening again in the future.) Of course if it wasn't me that got her pregnant, I wouldn't care if we were no longer together.

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  • Only if we were still together. Otherwise I wouldn’t really mind if she told me or not ... if it’s unplanned it’s unwanted.

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  • Only if we were thinking of getting hitched and having kids and just to know her mindset in case something went wrong with the pregnancy. Why too much t on ask?

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  • There's nothing I could do about it because it's her body and her choice but I would definitely find closure in being informed about it and I would be hurt if I didn't know.

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  • The why is because one canl know more accurately what kind of person is she committing a murder for her egotistic benefit as a product of her own irresponsible hedonistic behavior. To know what kind of stuff is her.

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  • If we were still seeing each other yeah. I could help her with things like planning appointments, helping her pay for it if she needs to, etc, etc.

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  • Absolutely want to know. And the father should have a say, it's his child as well.

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  • i can't vote but here's my answer i would know cause we would of talked about it first and decided not to get a abortion im not a not abortion freak person but i just wouldn't do it personally

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  • I would rather her not tell me she pregnant and she's not keeping it.

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  • Of course I would want to know! The conceived pregnancy was partially my creation!

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  • Yes I'd want to make double check sure she aborts, I don't need to be trapped with baby obligations however many years down the line.

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  • Yes , I would want to know so I knew what kind of girl I was sleeping with

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  • Yes I would like to know what's going on in my girls life.
    If we are still in connection

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  • Giving that it is only a hook up with an easy girl i care nothing about , i wouldn't wanna know and i wouldn't wanna anything to tie me with this cheapie.
    ..

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  • Seriously it would piss me off. Sorry my wife Aborted my child without even letting me know.

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  • Yes, even if she had ended any association with me because of it

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  • Personally, I think it should be law (not optional) that the father is involved.

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  • If I could help her, I'd want to know it.

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  • Yes I need to know even if she broke up with me.

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  • I'd want to know because I'd want to know

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  • Yeah. That's quite a major thing.

    Simples...

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  • Sure.

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What Girls Said 4

  • My dad who is 41 years old told me a story about how when he was 16 he’s girlfriend at the time got pregnant and they both agreed on apportion and even to this day when he told me the story he was tearing up it hurt him that they did that and not know what that child could been please people don’t be so quick to make decision

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  • My body my choices

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  • If l were a guy, l would like to know it.

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  • I never had an abortion but I can empathize more with the women who feel that this is their only option. I don’t think that most guys would really be able to handle the truth. If anything it may make them vindictive and vengeful, or they may shame the girl, and because of that, should not have to be told before/during/after an abortion was performed.

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